Hospital vs home birth?

[Pixie2320]

Well clearly you don't understand how YOUR comments can come across either.

Yes because even once ive explained how it was meant you've still corrected me as to how I meant it.

This thread has become a ridiculous pissing match thanks to a few instead of people giving their choices as it was intended.

I haven't seen any pro hospital birthers talking down to or otherwise belittling pro home birthers, or trying to convince them to change their mind about where to birth or what pain relief to have- like I and many others have said- its a personal private choice so do what's right for you, but don't talk down to me for my choices.

Well perhaps you should chose your words more wisely next time. Tone is very hard to read via text. Sorry for trying to clear up wrong misconceptions surrounding home and natural birth.

I'm aware that tone is hard to read via text, which is why I explained how my words were meant, to which you responded telling me that what I really meant was something else.

And as far as me choosing my words more carefully, maybe you should take your own advice seeing as people have quoted several comments from you as being rude and offensive

There is absolutely no reason this should have turned into an argument ( this can't be called a debate ) There is absolutely no reason to be rude to someone because you don't agree with their birthing choices - because it's their birth and in no way affects you or your birth You can clear up misconceptions without talking down to people, in fact it's far more likely to be effective as people tend to listen more when you aren't belittling them.

 

[Blah11]

I wasn't rude, just said I found it odd...

 

[Cherrybinky]

I havent read every page of this but I am actually on both sides here with home or hospital birth.
This is my first baby and Im quite phobic of the whole birth thing and given the choice I would have gone to a birthing centre which we dont have. So, I have simply chosen the hospital for my own personal reasons.

IF, I were more confident however, I would go with a home birth just purely for the comfort of my own home, not having people milling around all over and poking me and panicking me also because it may be more comforting during the whole process.

x

 

[wigglywoo]

Having read the whole thread, it seems that it was all going ok until someone posted that they thought that home birth was dangerous. This then prompted many posters to try to explain that a home birth is not dangerous and that it is a misconception, giving their knowledge of the process to try to dispel myths. I don't think that what has been said belittles people's choice for a hospital birth, just tried to explain that a home birth is at least as safe and in many cases more so than a hospital birth. At the end of the day, as has also been said, it's about the comfort of the mother. Some women feel more comfortable at home and others in a hospital, that is where their right to choose comes in. No-one said that anyone choosing a hospital birth was wrong, well I certainly didn't see anyone say that

 

[PeanutBean]

Round and round we go....

Here's my experience, spot the deliberate mistakes. With my oldest I planned a homebirth because it seemed the natural thing to do. My mum had two homebirths and two hospital births, both the latter infections, my oldest brother because it was what they did and me because of pre-eclampsia. I had no bias either way but it makes sense to me to have a normal part of life done in a normal place.

I didn't bank on labour starting with my waters going. At that time hospital policy was to recommend induction if labour hasn't started within 96 hours. My contractions started right away and everyone seems confused as to why I was told I would have to transfer if I hadn't delivered after 18 hours. Mind is everything - I was devastated and naturally didn't deliver and got transferred (I didn't know I could say no and they conveniently forgot to tell me it was my choice). I was given antibiotics I didn't know I could refuse without being told a thing about why and the pros and cons. Labouring in water my contractions picked up and I was told to push. I said I didn't know how and after a while was taken out the pool and checked (something else I didn't know I could refuse and the most painful part of my labour) - 3cm. I was persuaded into pethidine to slow everything down again which inevitably led to a decision to put me on a drip about which k was given no info nor choice. The contractions were so bad then and 30 hours of labour plus the transfer had defeated me so when I was pressed to have an epidural I consented. It was misplaced but I wasn't believed when I said I could feel all the contractions and no anaesthetist was available anyway so I was encouraged to keep on the boost button. Meanwhile my legs were paralysed and I was told the staff were betting I'd have a section. Miraculously the syntocinon did it's thing but lo my pelvic floor was so numb I couldn't push and my son was born by ventouse. He developed lethargy, jaundice and we had a lot of problems breastfeeding because of his sleepiness and mucous. All of this can be traced to the instrumental delivery and epidural. I left hospital devastated that my body was too broken to do what it was designed to do.

Two years and a lot of research later I got my homebirth. It was 22 hours in total, better than the 34 of my first. I had about 20 hours of enjoyable labour. I loved it and would do it again any time, not exhausting in the least. Funny then that the equivalent time in my first labour led to nothing from the pressure of a deadline. I then hit hard labour very fast - familiar from what I felt in the pool when they had me trying to push at 3cm then settled it all down with drugs so there was no danger I might progress. I had no internals and yet miraculously was still able to birth a baby. Go figure! Then even she came my body took over. I didn't even need to push, it all just happened, no need for a rubber vacuum cup then. Turns out I don't have a broken body.

By the way, I had a gbs+ swab mid-pregnancy and boy did I have to fight to get my homebirth. My girl was SO much more alert and happy and healthy than my son. She breastfed so well my milk arrived in less than 48 hours and my boobs contained about twice as much as they had with my son. She had no jaundice and has gained weight steadily where my son lagged a while.

I had plenty of faith in medicine until it stole from me my first birth experience. I now recognise the lack of evidence behind practice routinely employed in normal pregnancy and labour. And if those of you in the states are thinking oh that NHS with it's shoddy care you're wrong. This isn't about our health service, it's about cultural changes, fashion, control, mimicry of the US system. The US has a far worse record in maternal and neonatal mortality than even some developing countries. Where medicine is needed for emergency and natural complication it is the best and women facing such challenges can and should get the excellent care their hospital offers. The problem is in the common and in many cases thoughtless employment of routine intervention. This is one of the main reasons homebirthers choose to birth at home, besides the loveliness of being in one's own comfortable home and the power and sense of safety that confers.

I don't think there is a single homebirther who hasn't been told she is brave or what if something goes wrong. There is a constant dribble of judgement and negativity given to homebirthers from all around. Others don't realise the effect their scaremongering has nor how important a positive mindset is to a successful birth. (My contractions stopped for nearly an hour when I finally called the hospital about 18 hours in.) All we ask is for others to at least be informed before casting their judgement. Many homebirthers do copious amounts of research either to arm themselves against the naysayers or for their own interest or piece of mind, and yet we are the ones accused over and over again that we risk harming our baby by our choices. All the evidence we know and recite is blanket ignored.

Nb. Whoever asked about the legality of birthing without a medic, it's entirely legal (or at least in the UK it is). It's illegal to deliver a baby if you are untrained. This law is about people impersonating health professionals not dad's catching in fast or unexpected birth!

 

[FashionTekki]

I'm gonna go with having a hospital birth mainly because it's my first one so don't know how it's gonna be, what to expect etc. And also I'm considering just gas and air as pain relief so I don't want to be stuck without the option of having more haha, because I am a bit of a wimp most of the time. Didn't even consider a home birth tbh because hospitals give me that piece of mind, despite all the stories of the poor care.
I think for the next one, if I feel okay with this one, I would be more likely to consider a home birth because I know what's going on.

 

[Wantingbbbump]

I have given birth 4 times in a hospital and tbh I hated it!! YES i live in the US too. With 3 of the 4 births I almost died and with 2 of the 4 my babies were falling with me. I am a woman that CAN NOT have a epi!! They make my heart stop. 3 of the 4 ended up being natural drug free births. I did get the epi put in with my son but they had to take it right out and give me 2 shots to get my heart going right again. I would love nothing more than to have a home birth if I am to fall pregnant but here in the US a midwife is not allowed to take me on due to the fact that I have had preterm labor with 3 of the 4 preg's. I want to have my baby at home, no nurses telling me what to do with my labor or my baby. I want to snuggle in my OWN bed with my baby and go about my day. I felt like I had no control over my body or my baby, they wouldn't let me cut the cord or give the first bath...it's my damn baby. I was yelled at for sleeping with my own child and also for letting them sleep as long as they needed, I even had a nurse slap my son trying to wake him to feed because she said he was sleeping too long and then she called social serv. on me for allowing him to sleep..never mind that his cord was wrapped around his leg so his hr dropped & was faced the wrong was & my pelvic bone broke his nose!! Lets see in a hospital I was allowed to lay and almost bleed to death when my daughter broke a vessel on the way out, I had to have em surgery 6hrs after birth. I was denied pain meds after birth too. Not by the Dr but the nurses!! I have NOTHING good to say about hospital births!! But sadly that's where I will be forced to have my next child thanks to stupid laws. I am going to labor at home as long as I can as it's a 45min drive to one and then check myself & baby out 2hrs after ama!! They treat us like we are in jail when giving birth where I live!!!

 

[JackiePed]

Holyyyyy Crow! I can't believe how personal stuff like this gets.
Actually, with enough time on BnB, I can believe it.

Ladies, don't get so offended if someone says they don't feel safe doing a homebirth.... they aren't judging you by saying you're putting your baby in danger... they are saying THEY aren't comfortable with it. Period. It's not a judgement.

Secondly, a few people commented on things like, "God forbid someone says elective c-sections are dangerous..." or "But nobody is allowed to say an elective induction is dangerous..." -- Well, actually, yes they do. People all over BnB get on other peoples' cases for considering elective C-sections or elective inductions. So yes... it obviously is allowed. And, usually ends up in a personal attack regarding someone being selfish or doing things for convenience.

Seriously, chill. Unless someone gets in your face and says "You are not a good mother if you choose to have a homebirth" or "you're obviously not strong enough to deal with REAL labor if you choose to do it in your cushy bed at hooommmmme" which, I haven't seen anyone say nor do I think anyone believes that... then lay off those who say they aren't comfortable with a homebirth.

This thread was someone asking for opinions, not waving the red cape. Offering your opinion is VERY different than challenging someone for THEIR opinion, and even going so far as to challenge their lifestyles based on an avatar pic.

I think that moms who choose homebirth or natural childbirth have a peace and calm that I envy... but I will say... just based on my experience with BnB, those moms can be (I'm not generalizing for all) the very same who get a little high-and-mighty when it comes to discussing those very preferences.

Let's just give our opinions and experiences to the OP in a nice positive way so she can weigh all of the options and information.

 

[JackiePed]

sorry i keep forgetting that every woman who plans a homebirth is stupid and putting our babies at risk because something is going to go wrong and our babies are going to die!

seriously why on earth would people like me plan a hb if it was so dangerous? and im getting so sick of people having this nieve opinion of homebirths

I don't think most people think that the hb itself is dangerous. People are aware that, sadly, birth complications CAN happen.. regardless of where you are birthing.. and some are saying that they feel better in a hospital where baby could receive immediate care/attention/surgery/whatever if something WERE to be wrong during/immediately after the birth.

I don't think anyone is blaming it on the homebirth itself... just saying that in a homebirth, emergency help isn't minutes away. Babies get tangled in the cord, babies are sometimes born with a surprise issue that requires immediate surgery... mommies hemorrhage unexpectedly...

sure.. it's not a frequent occurrence, but these people are saying "I FEEL better knowing help is minutes away."

 

[Nikki_d72]

I have given birth 4 times in a hospital and tbh I hated it!! YES i live in the US too. With 3 of the 4 births I almost died and with 2 of the 4 my babies were falling with me. I am a woman that CAN NOT have a epi!! They make my heart stop. 3 of the 4 ended up being natural drug free births. I did get the epi put in with my son but they had to take it right out and give me 2 shots to get my heart going right again. I would love nothing more than to have a home birth if I am to fall pregnant but here in the US a midwife is not allowed to take me on due to the fact that I have had preterm labor with 3 of the 4 preg's. I want to have my baby at home, no nurses telling me what to do with my labor or my baby. I want to snuggle in my OWN bed with my baby and go about my day. I felt like I had no control over my body or my baby, they wouldn't let me cut the cord or give the first bath...it's my damn baby. I was yelled at for sleeping with my own child and also for letting them sleep as long as they needed, I even had a nurse slap my son trying to wake him to feed because she said he was sleeping too long and then she called social serv. on me for allowing him to sleep..never mind that his cord was wrapped around his leg so his hr dropped & was faced the wrong was & my pelvic bone broke his nose!! Lets see in a hospital I was allowed to lay and almost bleed to death when my daughter broke a vessel on the way out, I had to have em surgery 6hrs after birth. I was denied pain meds after birth too. Not by the Dr but the nurses!! I have NOTHING good to say about hospital births!! But sadly that's where I will be forced to have my next child thanks to stupid laws. I am going to labor at home as long as I can as it's a 45min drive to one and then check myself & baby out 2hrs after ama!! They treat us like we are in jail when giving birth where I live!!!

So sorry you went through that, hon. Next time, would you consider using a doula to advocate for your choices? Or someone else who could advocate for you while you're in? Best of luck TTC xx

 

[Nikki_d72]

C-sections carry four times the morbidity risk of ANY vaginal birth, yet the rates for these are soaring in every "developed" country. Who's taking risks with our and our babies' health, then?[/B]

I've seen a lot of comments here on homebirthers supposedly saying if you go to hospital and end up having a C-section you are doing wrong by your baby, and I can't for the life of me find where that's been said. Then I realised that some may have misconstrued this last part of my post (the bit unbolded) as some sort of accusation levelled at ladies who have sections - it wasn't, it is a comment directed towards the "knights in shining armour", i.e. the Obstetricians/hospital policymakers responsible for the way maternity services within hospitals are run. Those who are meant to be our carers, and part of who's hippocratic oath is "do no harm". Women and their babies are sadly all too often being failed by the systems and the carers in hospitals and that is what makes me angry. The World Health Organisation says C-Section rates should be no more than 10%, but in most places they have soared to above 25% and continue to climb. That is putting too many women at risk. Sections DO have four times the risk for you both and do cause problems - and the recovery is hellish, so I beleive that if they can be avoided, they should be. I certainly didn't enjoy mine, I don't know anyone who thinks "Emergency section, yay!".

I should probably also clear something else up - I was one of those ladies who put blind faith in my medical team for my first hospital birth but came out of there 4 days later feeling broken and useless due to all their unneccesary interventions and the fear they produced, ultimately leading to yet another C-Section. It took my years to come to any understanding about how it all went that way (and years to get pregnant again - reduced fertility is just another side-effect that nobody mentions when asking you to sign the consent form) but once I got pregnant I decided to ask for my notes to go through with a midwife and that was a revelation. So that is what led me to do as much research as possible and now I see things in a very different way.

So if I crusade a bit, I apologise, but my motivation is NOT to belittle or "talk down to" anyone, it is to try to spur some ladies into putting a bit of thought into what may be done to them in hospital - the more prepared you are, the more you can make your choices known. All too often these choices are presented as though you have no choice, or it is the only option available, or you are putting your baby's life at risk if you do not comply, and when in labour you are very vulnerable to suggestions like that, as you can imagine. All to often these things are done "just because that's how they are done" or for scheduling reasons, not for the benefit of mother and baby, unfortunately. In other cases it is for the misconstued beleif that it is of benefit to mother and/or baby, but based on no conclusive research. I was pretty shocked myself to discover that.

I was at no point even suggesting that everyone should birth at home, I believe for the reasons I stated in my last post about fear and adrenaline, as well as many more, that it is the best place to be for me but I really dislike the automatic assumption by most that hospital should be where you're safest because it's simply not true and that myth is perpetuated every time it is repeated. I said before, you need to be where you are most comfortable, and if that is hospital, great. But for goodness sake, please, please do some research before you go to be aware of the choices you have, the interventions likely to be pushed upon you and their potential effects. And know that you can say no, or ask for more time, or alternatives.

 

[JackiePed]

That's understandable-- and if you've had a bad experience, one can see how you would seek alternative routes to birthing.

I do believe, however, that just as we don't want to perpetuate a myth that 'homebirths are dangerous', we also don't want to scare gals who are considering hospital births. Many of the posts on here would terrify me if I were a first-time mommy, and I would begin to see doctors and nurses as pure monsters!

I think, perhaps, it comes down to a similar point you made, which is... do your research... but that doesn't neccessarily have to be research on a blanket, "hospital v.s. homebirth". If you're comfortable with a hospital birth, then do the research on that end-- which means, LONG before you're due, find out about your hospital's labor and delivery policies... find out what your options are... find out what your doctor supports... discuss issues with nursing staff before problems arise if you can... and then alter your choices to fit your needs if you find that you are placed in a hospital/with a doctor that doesn't support your wishes.

But many people have had great hospital experiences. I have delivered in a hospital twice, and though my first birth experience was not a pleasant one, it wasn't due to callous docs/nurses... just due to a difficult labor. I had very kind nurses, docs, and other professionals with the deliveries of both of my children.. and with my first, though my doc was getting nervous and wanting to do emergency c-section, he DID give me the time I needed to finally deliver her vaginally because I asked for it.

After delivering, I would get a grumpy nurse here and there who wanted to tell me what to do, "Don't sleep with your baby in your arms." "Don't let them have a pacifier" "Give her a bottle of formula if she hasn't had a wet diaper by such-and-such time..." But I learned that I could choose to listen to that grumpy nurse, or not... and not to let them intimidate me. Most of the nurses were kind, and if I got one grumpy one, I just stuck it out till her shift passed, or told her that I'm the mommy thank you.

I think the biggest mistake anyone can make, and truly even I made, before going to a hospital to deliver is not deciding where you stand on certain issues.. and then you have to make split-decisions. (Most women who have elected to have a homebirth have already considered many of these options)...

• How do you feel about pain medication and why (the "why" helps you know in the heat of the moment whether you feel its worth sticking to your original thoughts about pain meds) ?
• Do you want to be able to labor in alternative positions, clothing, etc...?
• Do you want an episiotomy if doc thinks you are going to tear? (My docs never asked me, I always just assumed it was their call... I didn't know until this one that I could say I didn't want one)
• How strongly do you feel about c-section, and how far are you willing to wait if doc begins to recommend one? What factors will influence your decision to go ahead with one or not if the issue should arise?
  
• After birth: how strict are you going to be about breastfeeding? If nurses think baby is jaundiced or having problems, are you ok with giving baby a bottle of formula to ensure hydration, or do you want to stick it out with breastfeeding to ensure proper foundations for breastfeeding?
• Do you want baby with you at all times or taken to the nursery?
• Do you feel it's ok to sleep with baby in your arms? What have you read? What do you know about yourself as a heavy/light sleeper?
• Do you want DH to stay overnight with you?

I'm sure there are more to consider, and as you read peoples' experiences you'll prob. think of other issues to make decisions about.. but consider where you stand and find out where the hospital/docs stand on those things BEFORE you go into labor.

 

[PeanutBean]

Wow wantabbbump what terrible experiences! I'm so sorry for your struggle.

I'm going to be frank about something and am sorry if this causes offence. It is often the case, when reading stories on here of difficult births, that I can see that what went wrong was down to medical intervention. Yes birthing can be difficult, yes there are situations where intervention is necessary and saves lives, but many stories bear the hallmark of a birth unnecessarily messed with. I wouldn't dream of saying so on someone's birth story thread or whatever, mums need to face that fact if and when they choose to. My motivation for making explicit what happened with my first birth is that it might help protect other new mums a bit by arming them with a bit of knowledge about how it can go wrong when it needn't have. I left hospital thinking thank goodness they were there to rescue my baby from my useless broken body. I was depressed for nearly 2 years about the birth and the cloud only lifted when I discovered it shouldn't have been that way. The day I found out I shouldn't even have had to transfer was monumental. First births are, generally, HARD but they don't have to be soul destroying.

It's been said a few times already but women need to birth where they feel most comfortable. For lots if women that is a hospital. For some of those women it is a fear they have of what might go wrong that leads them to that choice and challenging the notions of danger instilled in them by today's culture might mean they find they would actually be more comfortable elsewhere. Fear inhibits good birthing. Choosing a hospital because you're afraid doesn't necessarily make that fear go away.

Those who choose homebirthing do sometimes come across as militant. It is because we are the minority and invariably have to fight tooth and nail to get what we feel safest and most comfortable with and because we fear the experience mums might have who do not realise that they have a choice. Yes sometimes we might be bemused by those who decide they want an epidural or section because they think they can't handle pain but our motivations for debating, or arguing, are about protecting women's rights and experiences.

 

[JackiePed]

It is often the case, when reading stories on here of difficult births, that I can see that what went wrong was down to medical intervention.

I'm not trying to butt heads with you, I promise, but I have to say this is a brazen statement to make, because in reality... you can't possibly know that. You aren't the doctor that was there, and it's highly possible that whatever caused the doctor to begin the intervention is what the real problem was. It's so bizarre to me that we think that doctors who have been through years and years of medical school and who live every single day knowing that they will get their butts sued if they make ONE wrong move... would simply shove an intervention on you that is so sure to be the cause of a traumatic birth experience rather than help in some way.
Most of the time. I realize there are exceptions... but I think often we see the word "induced" or "epidural" or other intervention terms and immediately write off the difficult birth to being due to the intervention itself, without knowing the full story.

I left hospital thinking thank goodness they were there to rescue my baby from my useless broken body. I was depressed for nearly 2 years about the birth and the cloud only lifted when I discovered it shouldn't have been that way. The day I found out I shouldn't even have had to transfer was monumental. First births are, generally, HARD but they don't have to be soul destroying.

Honestly, this is something women need to consider. If, after a long and hard labor, doctors feel the need to intervene....will you feel as if you are broken, or something is wrong with you? If so, then you are certainly a strong candidate for homebirthing, or a doula, etc... because the psychological damage is difficult to deal with if you really had your heart and soul set on your body doing this a certain way.
Not every woman feels that way. My first birth was HARD. Some interventions were given. An emergency c-section was considered (but in the end not needed)... but never once did I feel that I was failing, or that my body wasn't working properly. Therefore, the hospital birth was fine for me, but may not be for someone who would internalize that experience, or who has very strong heartfelt feelings about birthing.

Fear inhibits good birthing. Choosing a hospital because you're afraid doesn't necessarily make that fear go away.

When people say this, they misunderstand the motivation for people choosing a hospital birth. It is not that we are ruled by fear. I don't go into a birth expecting anything to go wrong... and I don't spend much time worrying about it. Again, when we say that we prefer a hospital because they are equipped to deal with an emergency, we are NOT saying that we are living in fear of the emergency happening, or that we think it is somehow more likely to occur outside of a hospital environment.
We are simply saying that it makes sense to us to have emergency assistance close at hand, in the off-chance that something goes wrong. Even if birth goes completely smoothly, you could be surprised with a baby who is born with something wrong with them, and they need immediate breathing assistance, or surgery, etc...
We aren't sweating over these things... we just want to be prepared. There isn't anything wrong with that.

Those who choose homebirthing do sometimes come across as militant. It is because we are the minority and invariably have to fight tooth and nail to get what we feel safest and most comfortable with

This is understandable. And if you are constantly questioned for your choice to homebirth, then I can see how women in that situation would feel the need to fight to defend their choice. We just don't want to be fought or challenged on our choice, either. It makes us feel like we are viewed as ignorant wimps, when many of us are, in fact, intelligent and informed, strong mommies too.
(And that is not directed at you personally Peanut , promise, but just at the general feeling of the thread and of other threads when this debate arises.)

 

[Blah11]

To be fair, a good few of us who are pro HB, have said we've had a hospital birth and enjoyed it so I really don't think it's scaremongering.

& I agree 100% with PB. When you're in the minority, you tend to over explain yourself and since HBs aren't the norm yet (although theyre fast becoming way more popular), people do tend to think it's a bit odd/brave/even dangerous so you feel like you have to justify your choice and end up rattling off facts and figures which can come across as being militant.

 

[PeanutBean]

Going to reply as best I can on my phone.

I knew saying that would raise eyebrows. I don't claim to know more than doctors and of course things like funny positions etc do often need intervention. I certainly didn't say and don't think that every difficult birth is down to intervention. That would be ridiculous and ignorant. However I stand by what I said. Unless mums are leaving out crucial information in their birth stories I can often see exactly the familiar cascade. I've spoken with a fair few women who when debriefing their birth find they don't know why something was done. Frequently the clock is ticking in hospital and failure to progress is really failure to do what the hospital expects as per their own timescale. Not always but it certainly happens. What you say about the fear of being sued is exactly the reason why the majority of doctors intervene. No-one sues for a living baby delivered by forceps even if the forceps delivery was down to the epidural afministered without informing the mum of possible side effects. They sue for the baby that died or suffered serious difficulties because forceps weren't used because no-one was paying attention to the baby. Both neglect and too-much attention can result in the same outcome. Whilst undoubtedly there are medics, as with any job, who are lazy and make decisions for their own convenience, the majority of them will make the decisions they do with the beet interests of getting the baby out alive and well. But with all due respect doctors are trained in treating illness, complications, situations requiring help, they are not trained in normal birth as their expensive skills are not needed therefore they ought not be routinely employing those skills in the majority of birth.

I didn't say all women choose a hospital birth because they are afraid buy some undoubtedly do and challenging that fear across the whole of society will allow women to truly choose their place of birth with their eyes open. They may still choose hospital, that's fine. I really don't care where women want to give birth. I don't even care if they have elective sections in order to choose a holiday date. I might yhink they're mad but their body, their choice. I just care about the general level of ignorance about birth.

Which brings us to your final point. I would never dream of assuming that all women wanting a hospital birth are ignorant of their options or the process of birth. Of course there are plenty of women who know lots and lots and that's the choice they make and that's fine. My issue, and probably that of others like me, is with the level of misinformation institutionally and socially and with the bad experiences women could've avoided had they been better informed (though they shouldn't have to be as their carers should be doing this for them).

A small anecdote I think relevant here. A friend of mine who was pregnant with me the first time also had a ventouse delivery. I don't know the specifics of the birth but one of her friends who is a strong advocate of natural and home birthing told her that birth had been traumatic. Now that would put my nose out of joint! A birth is only traumatic if the women feels it was regardless of what happened. it might be the ventouse was unnecessary, like mine, or it might not. Necessary or not isn't what defines the birth, it's how the woman feels about it that counts and as you've said some women are just not bothered and are happy to go along with whatever is advised. I personally find that a bit odd but we're all different.

 

[tanni78]

I think it's a very personal choice and there is no right or wrong answer. Some women like the comfort and level of safety they feel with being in hospital, other's prefer the intamicy and privacy of their own home. Personally with my 1st, there is no way i'd have considered a homebirth but now, having my 4th, i'd have loved to but OH is dead against it, the idea petrifies him and at the end of the day, although i completely disagree with his view that it's unsafe, i don't want to put him through that so hospital it is. I hate medical intervention and if i had my way, i'd be in a dark room alone left to get on with it! Statistically i don't think it's riskier having a homebirth and this latest article by The RCGO just goes to prove that.

 

[lozzy21]

It is often the case, when reading stories on here of difficult births, that I can see that what went wrong was down to medical intervention.

I'm not trying to butt heads with you, I promise, but I have to say this is a brazen statement to make, because in reality... you can't possibly know that. You aren't the doctor that was there, and it's highly possible that whatever caused the doctor to begin the intervention is what the real problem was. It's so bizarre to me that we think that doctors who have been through years and years of medical school and who live every single day knowing that they will get their butts sued if they make ONE wrong move... would simply shove an intervention on you that is so sure to be the cause of a traumatic birth experience rather than help in some way.
Most of the time. I realize there are exceptions... but I think often we see the word "induced" or "epidural" or other intervention terms and immediately write off the difficult birth to being due to the intervention itself, without knowing the full story.

But you can know that. You can look at the statistics of the intervention you had and 9/10 you end up with one of the stated side affects. Hospitals follow policy's where as our body doesn't. It does what it needs to.

Even with myself, i got to 10cm and my contractions stopped so i was put on pitocin and told when to push because the urge wasn't there, i pushed for 2 hours and surprise surprise baby got distressed, i got given an episiotomy to get her out quicker as she really wasn't coping and then she had shoulder dystocia. All of the things that happened after the pitocin have been linked to the use of the pitocin. The chances of them happening with out the pitocin are slim to none.

The chances are if instead of being given pitocin straight away id been told to have a little nap my contractions would have picked up on their own, id have felt the urge to push, it wouldn't have took two hours to push her out and she wouldn't have got stuck. That's not me just guessing, that's me having researched the dangers of unnecessary intervention

 

[tanni78]

One of my main problems with giving birth in hospital is that the staff always err on the side of caution and often intervene when it's not really necessary for fear of getting their asses sued for want of a better phrase. I'm in no way slating the medical staff, i actually would love to be a midwife but thanks to the society we live in, people are scared of taking the rap when things go wrong.

 

[Blah11]

My community MW is very into homebirths. I remember when having amelie, i was in a lot of pain at around 7cm and was shattered so asked for something for the pain and they automatically assumed i wanted an epidural. I had to specifically ask for diamorphine instead. Now if I hadnt of educated myself on the drugs i can use during labour, I'd of had no idea it exsisted and might have got an epidural when I didn't need one.

Kinda reminds me of in america, they don't seem to have very good pain relief options. They don't even have gas and air