how can i get my friend back? shes stopped talking 2 me now that im pregnant.

[knobby]

Im sure everything will work out for the best n the end whether we're friends anymore or not. if she does get pregnant & all of a sudden wants 2 hang out & talk 2 me I don't know if ill be willing. I will update & let everyone know if our friendship lasts or not.

As hard as it is to feel that your friend is not happy for you, know that she isn't feeling this way because of you at all. She is going through a really hard time in her life. I know for the 1.5 years I suffered from miscarriages and infertility I was in a personal crisis - I feared I would never have children, that I would never be a mom, and that I couldn't give my husband children. I wondered what the rest of my life would be like without our own family. I was in a very sad and depressed state. And when you feel like this, it is hard to face people that are pregnant - it has nothing to do with them, you just think, "Why can't I be pregnant too?" It makes you mourn for the babies you've lost and babies you think you can't have.

My body was betraying me despite BDing every day with my husband. We couldn't have tried more if we wanted to (I had an ovulation problem that made it hard to conceive and chronic endometritis that was causing my miscarriages).

Before you throw in the towel on your friendship, I would go to your friend and try to talk with her. Don't wait for her to come to you - she is hurting. Be sensitive, understanding, and let her know that you are there for her. She'll come around and be happy for you.

 

[orionfox]

Well said knobby I swear i wish we all had super powers and could mind read to know why people feel the way we do, so that it would be easier to help them and understand. Its frustrating to not know why something bothers one person, when it wouldnt bother another.

 

[Christi85]

Knobby and orionfox - I couldn't have put it better myself.

GetNmyBelly - please try to understand that the way your friend is behaving is not because she's personally against you. She's probably just hurting way too much (not just with your pregnancy, I bet she feels like everyone else around her is getting pregnant except from her - and when she does, she loses them), so it's her way of coping somehow, because she can't shelter herself from the rest of the world. I actually agree with knobby about reaching out to her and trying to get her to open up and talk through her feelings. I feel like her reactions are very 'knee-jerk', my guess is she hasn't even processed her own feelings yet.

 

[GetNmyBelly]

so u think I should maybe try 2 talk 2 her? ive said multiple times 2 her hey! or wats up! & ive called her 2. but I guess I could send a message like "hey can we talk 4 a sec" or something like that... I don't want her 2 be upset or jealous of my (or anyone else's) pregnancy. & im starting 2 feel bad ): ugh .. I went from piss*d this morning to feeling okay about it later now im sad? lOl .. but I love her! I know her time will come! & I would love nothing more than for our babies/kids to grow up together. I know how bad she wants 2 get pregnant I guess I just never thought it was so bad 2 the point my pregnancy would hurt her or something..

 

[maryanne1987]

I think maybe a friendly message might help Hun. But if your holding out a branch and she just won't take it then I would just give her space. I totally understand the hurt of desperately wanting something so much and seeing other people get it but it's not fair to you to be made to feel bad about your pregnancy. You should be allowed to feel happy and excited. As much as pregnancy announcements used to kill me I'd never cut somene off or made them feel bad because they don't deserve that. I used to save my tears for behind closed doors and put on a brave face. Hopefully she will come around and be happy for you.

 

[alibaba24]

I know its difficult but give her some time. her behaviour is poor but it is very very painful when someone close to you is pregnant and you are desperate for a child x