How do you feel about epidurals/natural birth?

[Blah11]

Obviously anyones idea of a positive birth would be a live baby. Personally, I would feel robbed of a birth experience if I had to have a csection but thats just me.

See I think thats a missconception about c-sections I was all the way up to pushing she was all the way down the birthcannal her head was half out. So I feel like I kinda had 'the birth experience' and the 'csection experience' as she had to be pushed back in. (thank god i couldnt frigging feel anything)

From what Ive read on here I think a lot of people think of thier birth very negativly when have live and healthy babies as it didnt go how they wanted it to.

I don't even just mean the coming out of the birth canal bit. I liked her being handed to me right away, the instant skin to skin, my mum cutting her cord, breastfeeding pretty much straight away, asking to get her weighed and taking pics of it etc

 

[Blah11]

Obviously anyones idea of a positive birth would be a live baby. Personally, I would feel robbed of a birth experience if I had to have a csection but thats just me.

But often I do read of people who have a baby to take home who do not feel that they have had a positive birth. Quite frankly I did not care how Emma was delivered. Whether I had a c-section (which is what would have happened had she stopped growing at 32 weeks as was what seemed to have happened), whether I had loads of drugs or whether I had an epi was all completely unimportant as long as I got to take her home with me. Having already given birth to a baby who died in labour it maybe gives me quite a different perspective on all of this. I already had a birth experience, for all the good that it had done us.

Yeah, I understand but most women don't even think of a stillbirth occuring. I think only through being on bnb do I know of all the things that can go wrong.

 

[Nibblenic]

Obviously anyones idea of a positive birth would be a live baby. Personally, I would feel robbed of a birth experience if I had to have a csection but thats just me.

See I think thats a missconception about c-sections I was all the way up to pushing she was all the way down the birthcannal her head was half out. So I feel like I kinda had 'the birth experience' and the 'csection experience' as she had to be pushed back in. (thank god i couldnt frigging feel anything)

From what Ive read on here I think a lot of people think of thier birth very negativly when have live and healthy babies as it didnt go how they wanted it to.

I don't even just mean the coming out of the birth canal bit. I liked her being handed to me right away, the instant skin to skin, my mum cutting her cord, breastfeeding pretty much straight away, asking to get her weighed and taking pics of it etc

See even if Lo had come out vaginally she would never have been handed to me straight away cos she was essentially dead when she came out. it wouldnt have mattered which way she came out. I would never have had instant skin to skin. We took photos etc togethe in the recovery room like normal i suppose which is where we got skin to skin and an attempt at feeding.

 

[indy and lara]

Obviously anyones idea of a positive birth would be a live baby. Personally, I would feel robbed of a birth experience if I had to have a csection but thats just me.

But often I do read of people who have a baby to take home who do not feel that they have had a positive birth. Quite frankly I did not care how Emma was delivered. Whether I had a c-section (which is what would have happened had she stopped growing at 32 weeks as was what seemed to have happened), whether I had loads of drugs or whether I had an epi was all completely unimportant as long as I got to take her home with me. Having already given birth to a baby who died in labour it maybe gives me quite a different perspective on all of this. I already had a birth experience, for all the good that it had done us.

Yeah, I understand but most women don't even think of a stillbirth occuring. I think only through being on bnb do I know of all the things that can go wrong.

The thing is though that I felt no differently first time round. While I was not terribly aware of stillbirth either I was only really concerned about getting baby here safely and the type of birth I had never has been important to me.

I have no issue with highly medicalised births if that is what mums wants. With Emma I had a very medicalised birth, was monitored constantly and unable to get up at all during labour. However, it was a hugely positive birth and I have no regrets/ wishes it had been different. I am sure that my birth with Emma would be some people's idea of hell but for me it was just perfect. Just goes to show how different people are.

 

[bathbabe]

Why the hell shouldnt somebody who had a natural birth with minimal pain relief not shout it from the roof tops? Its an amazing thing to do and feel!
I had a dry labour, my waters broke 2weeks before, constant contractions for 10.5hours and 2hours of gas and air and 51mins of pushing, and you know what?

Im fucking proud of myself

And im proud of myself because:
I did it by myself!
My body just knew what to do!
I thought id be demanding everything going!

Im glad i didnt have an epi or need a c section.

I know of a fair few people who had an epi and regreted it after saying 'it was a step too far'
If you had an epi and your proud of yourself then great you should be, everybody who has had a child should feel proud.
I just think us who did it with no/little pain relief feel a huge sense of acheivement, its like running a marathon and making it to the end on your own legs, not jumping in a taxi and getting a lift to the end.

Have i asked for a medal? No. Do i want one? No.
Does anybody care? Yes, i care. Does anybody else care? Expectant mums wanting to here a positive birth story, and if they dont? So what? Doesnt take my feelings away from me! Im still proud of myself!

 

[moomin_troll]

my mum had a very traumatic birth with me....she wasnt allowed pain relief (bad hospital) but shes never sugar coated it for me and loved telling me about how they had to remove her stitches with my brother, that was 29 yrs ago thanks mum!

i had a far from perfect birth with zane, altho nothing compared to others but thats just made me want my natural birth even more.

ive always had the up most respect for women who need a section, thats the one thing i wouldnt be able to do...even tho obviously id have to if needed but the thought scares the hell out of me.

My mom had a traumatic birth with me also, but always told me the truth about it. That actually made me a little more scared though! I had the cord wrapped around me and was dying inside her so she was about 30 seconds from being rushed in for a section, but the doctor told her roll on her side and gave her one last chance and she pushed with all she had and out popped me! They had to do their doctor magic to bring me back to life and other than some permanent upper respiratory problems I'm fine. She really didn't want a section!

my mum lost my twin during pregnancy so it was a miracle that she didnt lose me too as it was a very bad mc. she went into labour 4 weeks early and almost died giving birth to me, i was only 5lbs.
she was bleeding to death and in her drip was a air bubble so she thought to herself well im going to die.
obviously she didnt, but for some reason its never really scared me...even tho she tried to use it to put me off ever having children lol

 

[Laura2919]

I had my girls via c section and I dont feel robbed, why should it matter. Why do people dwell on how they gave birth, whether they had an epi or was put to sleep and why do people have to feel like they have been robbed of something, its what you do for your child that counts, you do your best. I certainly dont feel robbed or any other bad emotion, of course I would have wanted a natural birth but it wasnt meant to be and my girls are here and they are the most precious things in my life.. How they came out doesnt bother me at all.

I didnt see Jaycee until she was 5 days old and I see Chloe for all of a few minutes when I woke up as she was being transferred to the other hospital, if I felt robbed that I had a section or I didnt see them it surely would affect how I am with them now.

All that matters is your baby is safe and alive, I still think I am lucky to have my girls.

 

[Laura2919]

Why the hell shouldnt somebody who had a natural birth with minimal pain relief not shout it from the roof tops? Its an amazing thing to do and feel!
I had a dry labour, my waters broke 2weeks before, constant contractions for 10.5hours and 2hours of gas and air and 51mins of pushing, and you know what?

Im fucking proud of myself

And im proud of myself because:
I did it by myself!
My body just knew what to do!
I thought id be demanding everything going!

Im glad i didnt have an epi or need a c section.

I know of a fair few people who had an epi and regreted it after saying 'it was a step too far'
If you had an epi and your proud of yourself then great you should be, everybody who has had a child should feel proud.
I just think us who did it with no/little pain relief feel a huge sense of acheivement, its like running a marathon and making it to the end on your own legs, not jumping in a taxi and getting a lift to the end.

Have i asked for a medal? No. Do i want one? No.
Does anybody care? Yes, i care. Does anybody else care? Expectant mums wanting to here a positive birth story, and if they dont? So what? Doesnt take my feelings away from me! Im still proud of myself!

I agree that everyone should be proud, we have brought new life into the world but I honestly dont think it matters what type of birth. I dont discuss it in general conversation when talking about my children, I talk about them and what they do and how they are not how they were delivered.. Everyone who has a child knows what labour to them feels like and everyone, be it a section or naturally knows the feeling of love you get when you meet your baby whether is straight away for a few days later.

 

[pinklizzy]

I was really upset when I was told I would need a c-section, primarily because I never wanted an epidural and had planned to put it into my birth plan-this is a personal thing and mainly stems from having had a lumbar puncture when I had meningitis as an 11 year old. I also felt that I would 'miss out' on all the parts of labour I'd taken for granted, having contractions, waters breaking etc.
As it turned out I had neither and for me it was an amazing outcome but I wouldn't judge anyone who did.

 

[nov_mum]

I think anyone is bound to feel let down if birth didn't go the way they would have liked. Of course a live and healthy baby at the end is the goal and any woman when faced with the fact her baby might die would do anything, including having major surgery, to save her child or improve their outcomes. I find that the people who tend to dwell on the how of birthing are people who have negative feelings about their births.

There is nothing wrong with wanting a birth the way you want it. So often I see people being run down for wishing for a natural birth with least interventions. The first thing people will often say is something along the lines of "well, you have to plan for it all going wrong, don't get caught up on high ideals, it all went terribly wrong for me" etc etc. The funny thing is that the majority of births are vaginal and are low/no intervention. So why is birth always made out to be a terribly risky experience that fraught with perils and dangers?? Granted, for some it hasn't been the breezy textbook experience they might have hoped for or expected. I guess that was the case for me. I don't mind sharing my story when others are interested. I certainly don't try to scare novice birthers by only telling the gory details.

I have a friend who elected a section at 6 weeks. She paid for an OB privately to ensure she controlled the outcome and picked her date of surgery etc. While it certainly wouldn't be my choosing (just as a vaginal birth was not hers) she has spent the last year running down natural/vaginal birthers, swinging between stories of how she wished she had a choice (which she did) to then stating that she doesn't feel she missed out on anything by electing surgery. She was certainly well read on the subject and made her own educated decision. I don't think anyone cares about her experience aside from herself evidently and other mums who might be interested in hearing her story or are thinking of going elective themselves.

I don't share my story with anyone who hasn't asked. I don't know of many mums that do share their story without someone asking regardless of mode of delivery. I think that there are a pile of women who haven't experienced birth that can not sit comfortably in a room and listen to another's story of vaginal birth regardless of their choice in their outcomes or not.

If someone has run a marathon or won a medal I would probably be really interested in listening to their experience, why not?? I certainly wouldn't sit on the sidelines complaining that their achievement make me feel less worthy or my experience of not winning a medal or running a marathon a huge deal. I wouldn't think that they should stop talking of their achievements, after all, it is an achievement regardless of my position. You can either accept the fact you are a person who isn't suited to marathon running, tried it but couldn't due to physical complications or isn't interested in it.

 

[nov_mum]

Obviously anyones idea of a positive birth would be a live baby. Personally, I would feel robbed of a birth experience if I had to have a csection but thats just me.

See I think thats a missconception about c-sections I was all the way up to pushing she was all the way down the birthcannal her head was half out. So I feel like I kinda had 'the birth experience' and the 'csection experience' as she had to be pushed back in. (thank god i couldnt frigging feel anything)

From what Ive read on here I think a lot of people think of thier birth very negativly when have live and healthy babies as it didnt go how they wanted it to.

I don't even just mean the coming out of the birth canal bit. I liked her being handed to me right away, the instant skin to skin, my mum cutting her cord, breastfeeding pretty much straight away, asking to get her weighed and taking pics of it etc

With my first, I didn't have the option of the first hold, he was early and had to be checked etc and BFing wasn't established until 3 weeks later. With my second, I picked him up, I fed him and I felt bonding was quicker. I felt empowered and I felt that I could take responsibility straight away instead of waiting for the permission from medical professionals. Of course if he had been unwell or not breathing that would not have been an option but when it does go right, it feels awesome!!! He was a great feeder from the second he emerged which I think was partly due to the fact no one else interfered with the process.

 

[Nic1107]

I have to say, it bothers me when people assume they'd be terribly upset if they gave birth the way I did, or had a section, or ventouse or forceps. If you haven't been there, how can you know how you'd feel? No reason to feel sorry for me, I had a great birth experience. And I feel bloody proud of myself too, you know? Hell, I pushed out a baby through a birth canal I couldn't even feel, through sheer force of will and a great pelvic floor I may have run a different kind of marathon, but I ran for miles too and we all crossed the same finish line in the end.

 

[Blah11]

I have to say, it bothers me when people assume they'd be terribly upset if they gave birth the way I did, or had a section, or ventouse or forceps. If you haven't been there, how can you know how you'd feel? No reason to feel sorry for me, I had a great birth experience. And I feel bloody proud of myself too, you know? Hell, I pushed out a baby through a birth canal I couldn't even feel, through sheer force of will and a great pelvic floor I may have run a different kind of marathon, but I ran for miles too and we all crossed the same finish line in the end.

Prob cos I've already had a birth I aboslutely loved and I know anything less than the same, I'd be disappointed with.

 

[moomin_troll]

i was let down by my hospital when i had zane and i no they did things that really didnt need to be done, and i was told i couldnt do things that i really wanted when i no i should of been allowed. so because of that i was very dissapointed.

ive also noticed some people who have had epidurals for what ever reason have come on very defensive and actualy its those who like natural births who are getting called the names for not wanted a injection! its beyond me

 

[booflebump]

I would love to think that I could achieve my ideal natural birth when the time comes. But I know that while I can make all the plans I like, nature has the final choice and I can only work with my body.

While there are various side effects to epidurals (increased risk of instrumental delivery etc), epidurals can also give a woman who has been in a lot of pain, and is exhausted, the opportunity to rest and relax. And with that, allowing her to deliver her baby herself without the need for further intervention.

They definately have their place

 

[Blah11]

i honestly dont think anyone has said 'ban them, theyre terrible' have they? I think pretty much everyone has said they have their place

 

[Nic1107]

I have to say, it bothers me when people assume they'd be terribly upset if they gave birth the way I did, or had a section, or ventouse or forceps. If you haven't been there, how can you know how you'd feel? No reason to feel sorry for me, I had a great birth experience. And I feel bloody proud of myself too, you know? Hell, I pushed out a baby through a birth canal I couldn't even feel, through sheer force of will and a great pelvic floor I may have run a different kind of marathon, but I ran for miles too and we all crossed the same finish line in the end.

Prob cos I've already had a birth I aboslutely loved and I know anything less than the same, I'd be disappointed with.

'Different' than the same could very well turn out not to be any 'less' after all though. . That's what I'm saying- again not to sound confrontational, but my birth certainly wasn't any "less" than anyone else's. (I keep saying 'mine', I mean my daughter's of course, lol). And no less joyful, no less wonderful. I know everyone wants their birth to go to plan, be everything they always dreamed of- but having everything go exactly the way you want isn't really the point, is it? I definitely understand a general desire for more education about the birthing process and risks of intervention- but even unintentionally, saying one would be really disappointed to have a birth like mine is really implying a cheapening of my experience, and of my daughter's birth. Some births are truly traumatic- and there are traumas and tragedies from BOTH "types" of birth. I think something disappointment is very small potatoes stemming from too much focus on the 'perfect' day. I'm not for a second suggesting that you or anyone here cares less than the rest of us about just having a breathing baby- that would be so untrue as to be ridiculous. I do hope your next birth goes just the way you want it- but I hope, if it doesn't, you won't dwell on it too much and let it cast a shadow on your joy.

 

[booflebump]

i honestly dont think anyone has said 'ban them, theyre terrible' have they? I think pretty much everyone has said they have their place

No, no, just making a general comment. I've had the honour of being present at different types of births and have seen both the positive and negative aspects of various pain relief options

 

[nov_mum]

At the end of the day I guess it is about how you feel about your own birth. No one walked that mile in your shoes even if they had similar interventions or lack of them. I have heard some people refer to natural/vaginal births as 'hideous' and 'unnecessary' but it can't take away from my experience. I think it is safe to assume that we do assume that some birth methods/interventions are not favourable to us personally. Although I have never had a section I can make the assumption that having major abdominal surgery which prevents me caring for my baby as soon as they are born would be a less favourable outcome for me. Not being able to pick up my two toddlers and care for them or drive anywhere for a wee while. Having a catheter inserted and taking those risks associated with surgery, they appear unfavourable to me. To some, having a natural birth appears unfavourable. If I end up having a section then I will deal with the outcomes, what choice do I have?? I certainly don't think my alternate experiences or disinterest in surgery takes away from anyone's experience. Everyone has their own hardships to endure and achievements to celebrate. At the end of the day it is you that has to live with your experience.

I don't think many people get the gold standard, perfect birth in their eyes. There are probably things that we would like to have changed in hindsight or matters that did not go to plan that were disappointing. But striving for what we want shouldn't be about protecting other people's feelings, blindly being told what to do by health professionals and having to feel grateful for whatever experience we get landed with.

Birthing used to be the domain of women. Let's face it, it was about the only thing men really had no idea about it and no control over. We used to be surrounded by birthing and children. Because of that there was a lot of knowledge and experience amongst women who hadn't even had children themselves. Roll on Obstetric training and the domination of women's health provided by men. Often the first time we have anything ot do with birthing and babies is when we have our own. We go in to this relatively sheltered. If we do take an educated approach we are accused of trying to control things to much and it will only end in disappointment (unless we are buying the medical model of surgery). When did women become so unsupportive of each other and when did we gladly hand over the domain of childbirth without so much of a protest??

 

[bathbabe]

Nov_mum i love you! You have taken everything i wanted to say and said it a million times better than i ever could of!