How long should we wait to try again?

[Ivoryapril]

I found out yesterday that i had amissed miscarriage about 3 or 4 weeks ago. I'm going to ask if they will do a D&C so i can move on, i've thought it over and don't think i could go through it naturally, just waiting day after day for the bleeding to start. I'm wondering how long we need to leave it til TTC? I know we need time to grieve, but our circumstances are different.

My hubby works away for 3 months at a time and we need to plan TTC for when he will home, and when he'll be back again 9 months later. Basically, if we don't try again right away after my D&C, then he goes away in Feb til May, then we will have to leave it til August to TTC as he will be away Jan-April next year too and i need him here for the birth. I just feel so mixed up and can't bear thinking that i have to wait til August, especially if i miscarry again after waiting all that time. x

 

[Orange lady]

Hi there
I am glad you are feeling a little more positive today. Time really does help, and after your D&C, your symptoms will go. I still had all the pregnancy symptoms too til my EPRC, then in 2 days I was physically back to normal. The doctors recommended waiting for one cycle when I had mine. I know some of the girls on here started trying again straight away so I guess it's up to you. I thought that my poor old body needed a few weeks off, so decided to wait til AF arrived.
The doc should be able to advise what's best for you anyway.
Take care
xx

 

[x_Rainbow_x]

if your asking for a d&c you should wait 1 cycle to avaoid any infections. plus its easier to work out your dates then.

 

[Ivoryapril]

My concern is that if i wait for AF, my hubby will be away then i can't try til August. Is it riskier not waiting a cycle and just going for it or is it just to help work out your dates? x

 

[x_Rainbow_x]

if youv had a d/c there is risk of infection. They dont recomend trying straight away

 

[susan_1981]

I had my D&C on 29 December and we started trying again on 9 January once my bleeding had completely stopped - just make sure that it has stopped completely, including any pinkish/brownish discharge which you may get for a while after as you can get an infection. Good luck and sorry for your loss xx

 

[KKSARAH]

I also have done the same as Susan_1981, I waited until my bleeding completely stopped.
Although am in a situation where theres no sign of Af and getting BFN,
I did OV tests too try and work out when I OV which happened to be New Years Day and now just waiting for either AF or a BFP but am quite happy with either at moment just so I have a starting point.
Hope this helps, Good Luck Hunxx

 

[becky77]

well i had my erpc on 17th dec and i am trying straight away,they said to wait until all bleeding has stopped before ttc so as to avoid infection.
hope it all goes ok with the erpc.
take care
x

 

[sam76]

i had a D & C in November and have only just got back to normal cycle wise, so going to try again , i wish you all the luck xxxxxxxxxxxxx

 

[MrsJD]

I had a DnC for my MMC last July and regretted it. Due to the amount of bleeding and the fact that the baby was removed so my hormones took longer to settle. I had a misscarriage at the weekend there and so glad I done it naturally (I was in hospital at the time) and my levels are decreasing naturally rather than my body thinking I'm still pregnant.

If you opt for the DnC then you must wait atleast 1 cycle due to infection.

Sorry for your loss.

XXXX

 

[ruth222]

Hi, I can't advise with regards to the D&C as I've never had one, but I have had one ectopic and one miscarriage. After the ectopic I was pregnant again about 3 months after, then I lost that one too, then I became pregnant for the third time, less than one month after the miscarriage, I hadn't even had a period, so was awkward with dates until I had an early scan. So with regards to waiting we didn't wait with any of the pregnancies really, prob waited a couple of weeks, your advised to wait at least one cycle, but I'm not sure if its longer if you have a D&C with regards to infection etc. I also understand what you mean abour hubby going away, as mine goes away 6 months in a year, but its split up over the year, and after two losses I was desperate to try again xx

 

[Ivoryapril]

Obviously i would wait for the bleeding to stop, to be honest i don't think there's any chance of conceiving again before hubby goes away, think i just need to think there is to help me over this bit. Have a D&C booked on monday but i'm starting to get pinky discharge so i might not make it til then without losing naturally. Really don't know which is best as i'm scared stiff of seeing my little embryo pass. Hate the thought of D&C too, especially if i miscarry naturally then still need one anyway . x

 

[pinkgem100]

Hi, im so sorry for your loss, i had a missed m/c in dec and am in a similar situation (except my partner does not work away) i dont know whether to try again just yet as i loved the though of being pregnant and having a baby, till i was pregnant i was never that maternal and didnt really want children just yet but then i fell pregnant and made so many plans. i am now not sure what to do, do i leave it for a while or do we try again. I have been seeing a counciller and all she has said to me is that it is best to wait till after your first period, so i think that me and my partner are just going to leave it to fate and see what happens as i dont want to replace my little boy, Harry.

No one can make the decision for you and it is a very hard decision to make as like me you have mentioned about miscarrying again, that is that one thing that scares me the most, so that is why i am leaving it to fate, what will be will be!!!

 

[Lyns]

I discussed this with the surgeon and midwife when I had my D&C in December....they told me that once I'd stopped bleeding the risk of infection was gone,but they advised me to wait for a fresh cycle for dating purposes.

We also spoke to the gp who also confirmed that your body is ready to try again at first Ov....but as you don't know your cycle, you won't know when you Ov. I however did HPT's until I got a negative and then OPK's until I got a positive...and boy were they right, my Ov pains were quite strong! Sory but I wasn't waiting for cycle just so as the NHS didn't have to give me an early dating scan!

Sadly I didn't fall pregnant straight away and am now into my first cycle, but plenty of girls on here have...and there is an unconfirmed belief you are super-fertile after and D&C...so if you are on limited time I would go for it, but make sure your bleeding has totally stopped. and give it a day or two, as mine stopped once and then came back!

Sorry for your loss hunny....and good luck for the future. We're all here if you need a chat, hug, cry or share your frustrations or hopefully happy news soon xx

 

[susan_1981]

Obviously i would wait for the bleeding to stop, to be honest i don't think there's any chance of conceiving again before hubby goes away, think i just need to think there is to help me over this bit. Have a D&C booked on monday but i'm starting to get pinky discharge so i might not make it til then without losing naturally. Really don't know which is best as i'm scared stiff of seeing my little embryo pass. Hate the thought of D&C too, especially if i miscarry naturally then still need one anyway . x

I think I'm very similar to you. I found out on 23 December that I had a MMC, hadn't had any bleeding whatsoever at that point. I had to wait until 29 December (almost a week later) to have my ERPC. On 25 December, I started to have some brownish discharge, and the next day I felt a little crampy. The brown discharge and mild cramping continued up until the day I had my ERPC so luckily my miscarriage held out. It's really strange that once you find out you have had a MMC, that the bleeding then seems to start (well for us 2 anyway). The nurse told me that as I hadn't started to miscarry in 5 weeks, it was unlikely to happen naturally (although I'm not sure how true this is). Personally, I'm glad I opted for the ERPC as I don't think I could have handled naturally miscarrying. I think it would have been too traumatic for me. I've also read a few girls on here have had extreme pain when naturally miscarrying.

I was given 2 leaflets from the hospital before I decided which route I wanted to take, one was to take a tablet and stay in hospital for the whole day while the baby passes out. Then I would have to go back for a scan 2 weeks later to check everything had passed out. I definitely couldn't face going through that, I wanted it over with as quickly as possible. It also said that I would experience cramping and heavily bleeding for a while. With the ERPC (same as D&C), it said I would need to come into hospital for a fw hours and after the op, I would experience mild cramping and bleeding for up to 10 days which is what happened. I didn't feel any real pain, just like mild period pains. And I was back at home by 1pm.

With regards to what the other girls are saying about infections, the doctor at the hospital said that I should only avoid having sex while I was bleeding. She basically said that we shouldn't until the bleeding had completely stopped, including any pink/brown coloured discharge because of the risk of infection. She didn't say anything about not having sex once it stopped so I think it's fine to start again. This is going from what the doctor told me.

We are trying again now and started to last weekend, so just under 2 weeks after my op - and my bleeding had completely stopped. And I'm also exactly the same as Lyns, I'm not going to stop TTC just to make the NHS's life easier without having to give me an early scan. Even if I do get 1 or even 2 periods before I get pregnant again, there is every possibility I will tell them I haven't had one so that they will scan me.

Good luck for Monday xxxx