How many children do you want?

[readyformore]

And how does that compare to what you wanted when you were in your 20s and 30s?

Before we got married, we had decided on 3 children.
2 was really difficult but still I wanted a third.
I knew while pregnant with #3 that I would want another.

My DH was happy with 2, lol!!!

Ideally, I'd like to have 5, but I know DH will put his foot down if we have 4. If for no other reason than ttc SUCKS!!! A happy accident would be welcome, but I don't think I'll ever actively ttc again.

You guys?

 

[dachsundmom]

I never wanted kids, never saw myself with them, and I never had that maternal instinct I hear so much about.

At 23 I got pregnant with DD while on BCP; didn't know that being on antibiotics for a sinus infection would make the pill less effective.

Fast forward a few years and CPs later...just one more would be wonderful!

 

[Junebug_CJ]

3!
One done, working on #2 and hoping for #3 by the time I'm 41 (currently 38)

 

[Indigo77]

If you asked me 10 years ago, I would have said 3 ....Now 1, maybe 2, but I doubt it.

 

[readyformore]

If you asked me 10 years ago, I would have said 3 ....Now 1, maybe 2, but I doubt it.

Why do you doubt it?

 

[Indigo77]

Because I am 39....if we manage to have 1, I doubt we will have enough time to have another...

 

[dachsundmom]

Because I am 39....if we manage to have 1, I doubt we will have enough time to have another...

 

[readyformore]

Because I am 39....if we manage to have 1, I doubt we will have enough time to have another...

Oh, I thought maybe you were having a wake up call after seeing some crazy kids, or a sleep deprived new mom or something, lol!

Maybe back to back babies?

I had a patient that had just delivered her 4th baby. Her kids were 3, 2, 1, and a newborn!! When I asked her why they were so close together she said "I wanted 4 kids and I didn't start until I was 38. I had to do it that close."

 

[Bubba3]

I knew when I met my husband he was the man I'd have children with. I was too busy partying and traveling, studying etc in my 20 s I was having such a good time and knew I wouldn't have been ready. I think watching my mum have us v young made me enjoy my 20 s tbh. I didn't meet my hubby till 29 , we were so lucky to be blessed quickly with first , then coming so close to losing her as a baby rocked my whole world. We knew We didn't want her to be alone , especially as she may need support her whole life now. No 2 again happened by looking at each other virtually. My husband is the one who long ago was ready for just one more. Were both from broken backgrounds and I think that influences our desire for three which we think of as a pretty big brood.
I took a while to come round. My first daughter needs a lot of neurologist appointments etc . That was a year ago ! This one is proving a tricky little cookie. It's like mother nature has made me wait to make sure I really do want this lil one. And boy do I .
Indigo , my mum had her 4th in mid forties , never say never hon .
I'm so so blessed and never a day goes by where I don't realize how lucky we are for our two. Hence the guilt at feeling greedy !

 

[dachsundmom]

I knew when I met my husband he was the man I'd have children with. I was too busy partying and traveling, studying etc in my 20 s I was having such a good time and knew I wouldn't have been ready. I think watching my mum have us v young made me enjoy my 20 s tbh. I didn't meet my hubby till 29 , we were so lucky to be blessed quickly with first , then coming so close to losing her as a baby rocked my whole world. We knew We didn't want her to be alone , especially as she may need support her whole life now. No 2 again happened by looking at each other virtually. My husband is the one who long ago was ready for just one more. Were both from broken backgrounds and I think that influences our desire for three which we think of as a pretty big brood.
I took a while to come round. My first daughter needs a lot of neurologist appointments etc . That was a year ago ! This one is proving a tricky little cookie. It's like mother nature has made me wait to make sure I really do want this lil one. And boy do I .
Indigo , my mum had her 4th in mid forties , never say never hon .
I'm so so blessed and never a day goes by where I don't realize how lucky we are for our two. Hence the guilt at feeling greedy !

No guilt allowed!

 

[readyformore]

I'm so so blessed and never a day goes by where I don't realize how lucky we are for our two. Hence the guilt at feeling greedy !

Yes, I feel lucky/greedy/guilty too.

 

[dachsundmom]

I'm so so blessed and never a day goes by where I don't realize how lucky we are for our two. Hence the guilt at feeling greedy !

Yes, I feel lucky/greedy/guilty too.

No greed/guilt for you either!

 

[Indigo77]

Because I am 39....if we manage to have 1, I doubt we will have enough time to have another...

Oh, I thought maybe you were having a wake up call after seeing some crazy kids, or a sleep deprived new mom or something, lol!

Maybe back to back babies?

I had a patient that had just delivered her 4th baby. Her kids were 3, 2, 1, and a newborn!! When I asked her why they were so close together she said "I wanted 4 kids and I didn't start until I was 38. I had to do it that close."

Well, if the first comes quickly without issues, and if our stamina is not an issue, then maybe 2 back to back...but hubby will still need convincing, I think...

 

[Indigo77]

I'm so so blessed and never a day goes by where I don't realize how lucky we are for our two. Hence the guilt at feeling greedy !

Yes, I feel lucky/greedy/guilty too.

Why?

 

[readyformore]

I'm so so blessed and never a day goes by where I don't realize how lucky we are for our two. Hence the guilt at feeling greedy !

Yes, I feel lucky/greedy/guilty too.

Why?

I could write a novel about why. .. . .

Luck: I have 3 kids. Regardless of how long ttc took, planned, versus surprise, it doesn't matter. There are a lot of people out there that just can't have children, or don't have healthy children. I have 3 beautifully perfect people that call me mom.

Greed: I feel greedy that although I have 3 kids, I want MORE. Makes me feel greedy that 3 doesn't satisfy me. Some cultures don't even allow that many kids.

Guilt: Again, I have these 3 great kids, I shouldn't want anymore, but I do. All of that luck and greed just drain into guilt.

It's a complicated set of emotions. I can tell you that I nearly cried when I had a conversation with one of my friends and told her I was going to ttc again. She has a severly autistic child and the doctor told her it's familial, she shouldn't have anymore biological children. She had her second child with an egg donor. After 5 failed IVF cycles, she finally had her baby. Now, she can't have more. She's out of money and options.

That makes me feel greedy. It's like I'm asking too much to have another healthy baby when so many have much less. It's almost embarrassing.

 

[tigerlilly]

I'd love 3 or four! but at 38 i would settle for just one.

 

[cebethel]

I'm so so blessed and never a day goes by where I don't realize how lucky we are for our two. Hence the guilt at feeling greedy !

Yes, I feel lucky/greedy/guilty too.

Me three! I have been feeling guilty for a long time. I am so lucky to have my DS, I feel like I am pushing it with wanting one more

 

[BridieChild]

If you had asked me when I was 21 or so, I would have said 4. I got pregnant with DD at 27 but the relationship was never going to last. I was a single mother for a long time so never had the opportunity to TTC #2.

When I met DF last year I knew I'd met the man I was going to marry, and our wedding is February 2012. When we first met eight months ago, he was adamant he didn't want children (he's 41 and doesn't have any of his own yet) but I was equally adamant that I wanted another one. DD is now almost eight, and I never planned to leave that big an age gap.

Obviously I talked him round, but my dream of 4 kids is now beyond reach I think. DF says once we get our BFP this time, he's having the big V.

 

[Wendyk07]

I only ever wanted one but since having my son and experiencing all the joy and happiness that he has brought me i am now ttc #2 and no doubt i will want another after that. Then we would have to buy a new house as we would be bursting at the seams so i think DH might want to stop at 3.

Wendy
x

 

[Bubba3]

Us women are very bad at the guilt thing. I don't struggle too much it's just that I don't want to be insensitive to anyone here trying for no1 .
I look at my two and want to burst with love and think yup , just one more please.
We all deserve to bring babies into this world because all of us in this section already love them. Even if they're not with us yet. If that makes sense.