How many ICSI/IVF/FET before a positive - POLL

[chocci]

Chocci - I am sorry your ICSI was not successful. When will you be trying again? I have recently miscarried and am hoping to start my ICSI in august or september. I think the success stories are there its just so many back off from forums when they get their BFPs. The dream is to be pregnant but the worry doesn't stop it just changes and you seek out those who understand that. To be honest I feel less inclined to join a thread during my ICSI as there is a risk others negativity (understandable of course as its bloody hard at different times) or experienes can affect you and it is a personal journey and for me I want it to be as positive as possible.

I have been told it is better to view IVF as a course of treatment over say 3 goes. The odds of sucess go up massively.

Sorry to hear about your miscarriage Brambletess, I hope you are coping, it must be very hard

I agree that i really only want to read inspirational stories too, dont want to have to trawl through journals and read negative things also not when going through treeatment or after its failed. i think many people feel like that, therefore thats why i think we need an area where we can go straight to the success stories, something to cheer us up, something where we know we can "read" safley haha without seeing anything really negative. That would give us the positivity we need without getting dragged into sections that have negativity in them which to be frank is starting to affect me to the point i was going to give up on these boards. We need our own nice safe area filled with inspiration!

I have been told it is better to view IVF as a course of treatment over say 3 goes. The odds of sucess go up massively.

And thanks for that those the statement above has actually really made me feel a lot better, i never thought of it like that, as you know no matter how positive you try to be, there is always that little voice that trys to cherp in making you imagine never having a success. I am 90% positive that one cycle will work and thats why i need to keep reassuring myself that with each try i have a chance and therefore not give up and resign myself to failure before i have started. For me reading about people who have tried 3, 4, 5 times is completely inspirational, not many people are lucky enough to have first time success.

I am hoping for FET in august/sept, got an appointment with consultant 7th july to discuss options and review cycle. I am looking forward to it.

I wish you every success hun with your next cycle, i really hope it works out next time and i am sure it will, all i know is our babies once they arrive will be the most loved XX

 

[chocci]

I agree hun.. I will ask moderators if we can do a thread with IVF success stories..I am not in 2WW yet hun.. will be soon.. should be starting stimms tomorrow

Good luck hun.. u will get there

Oh soz hun i misread your signature. On the stimms eh, they arent too bad, didnt mind hte injections at all, infact i kept imagining my little eggies growing and getting stronger X Good luck hun, hope it works out for you X

 

[Mervs Mum]

Thanks Tanya, i wanted a thread where it was easy to find stories, i understand people have them in their journals BUT thre is a lot to trial through in the journals, a lot of it is just general chit chat, i have done that i have looked through a lot of them, its hard work, people looking for inspiration just want to read the bones of a story!.....not meaning to sound funny but there are a lot of irrelevant comments on journals and some are pages and pages long, makes it hard to find just the story in the journals.

Erm......ie YOU cant be 'assed' as you put it, to trawl through peoples journals, and because what you want isn't there at your finger tips you throw a hissy and start slagging the forum off as a whole and imply there are better places you could be! Sorry Chocci but you are starting to piss me off with this 'me, me, me' and 'what I need' attitude. Those journals arent about YOU and I object to you saying they are full of irrelevances. EVERYTHING in a journal is of relevance to the writer.

 

[Brambletess]

Chocci - the range of emotions after any failure, failed IVF or miscarriage are intense. I totally agree that reading success stories is enormously helpful and we should set about having a permanent thread for people to post theirs when they have got there. It gets you down reading difficult stories. Journals are good but as you say it takes too much time to read through them all and when you are vulnerable you want to go straight to the good.

The way i feel at the moment, i have had a nasty fall, cut and bruised myself and i feel very shaky but i am already thinking about getting back on. I relate to others who have fallen too and want to support them but for now i also want to hear about people who have made it to the end as that is where I want to be too. Not going to let the fear of falling again deter me either. Like you though I am about 90% sure i will get there.

At least you will get two put back in next time and it won't be as bad not having to do the stimms. I bet you are already looking forward to it! I am having to reapply for my funding right now but the pct have verbally confirmed its ok. My Doc suggested trying naturally as well, but am in two minds. Obviously a fertalised egg got down them once but sceptical it will happen again and if it does the risk of ectopic is massive and it would set me back months if it was. Not sure whether to try naturally as well or just wait until ICSI. You are supposed to be more fertile after miscarriage. Uummmm

Tanya - good luck with the Stimms , shall be following yours and the other June/July girls stories.

I feel trapped this morning, I live in Glastonbury and the traffic is horrendous with festival traffic. I was going to go this year but cancelled my tickets as it was going to be around the time i was supposed to be having egg transfer. Life can be so unpredictable sometimes.

 

[chocci]

Thanks Tanya, i wanted a thread where it was easy to find stories, i understand people have them in their journals BUT thre is a lot to trial through in the journals, a lot of it is just general chit chat, i have done that i have looked through a lot of them, its hard work, people looking for inspiration just want to read the bones of a story!.....not meaning to sound funny but there are a lot of irrelevant comments on journals and some are pages and pages long, makes it hard to find just the story in the journals.

Erm......ie YOU cant be 'assed' as you put it, to trawl through peoples journals, and because what you want isn't there at your finger tips you throw a hissy and start slagging the forum off as a whole and imply there are better places you could be! Sorry Chocci but you are starting to piss me off with this 'me, me, me' and 'what I need' attitude. Those journals arent about YOU and I object to you saying they are full of irrelevances. EVERYTHING in a journal is of relevance to the writer.

I think your being a bit unking MervMum, your misinterperting what i am saying now, if i am pissing you off please go away and leave this thread as it seems you just out for an argument. You have now misquoted me totally. My suggestion is a forum for us people who are having an extremely hard time trying to concieve. YOU are just upsetting me and right now i dont need you to! I never said i just needed it for me, i quite clearly stated i think it is a good idea for ALL people going through the awful process of IVF/ICSI etc etc who need a little bit of inspiration, who need to get straigh to the point to read positive stories, who may not have to thime to sit and read lots of journals to find that little bit of hope that they need!! Please stop misquoting me and go somewhere else for your argument you have really upset me now and i just dont need it. I am asking for this thread not just for me but because i care about others going through and that may go through the pain of infertility treatment now and in the future. I believe it will be of great bensfit to many so stop making out that i am being selfish etc as that just is not fair!!!

 

[Mervs Mum]

I think you need to read back over your posts and imagine it for one second from someone else perspective than your own. I havent mis quoted you. Others have agreed with me and yet you have chosen to ignore that. I'm not looking for an argument at all. I'm looking to make you see how insulting your sweeping generalisation are to long serving members of this forum.
If I felt someone was making insulting generalisations in RL and contradicting themselves at the same time, I wouldnt just walk away because they told me to. I would stand up for me or the people on the wrong end of it, which is exactly what I'm doing.
My intention isnt to upset you but this thread isnt causing you upset exclusively. I am upset by what you are saying here too - but of course that's not of any interest to you.

 

[Brambletess]

Mervs Mum, I think you have blown what Chocci said out of proportion. There are sites that have better success story threads and this thread is about trying to document our own on BNB a bit better. A forum is a group of people and we form friendships and want to share amongst each other. Like us all chocci feels part of this forum and wants to share these with the friends she has met here like she has seen on other forums. The success feels more real amongst people you have shared the journey with. I really do not think she was slagging off journals and if she can't be assed to trawl through journals, neither can i to be honest. I tend to have a connection with people than read their journal so i can get to know them better. I wouldn't get anything else done if i read them all. I will have a read of yours though Merv Mum.

When people say things on forums that i don't agree with i try and take a step back and respect their emotions at that time. We all moan at times, we all vent our frustration and we all cry at times and we probably get pissed off at other forum members too! then the next minute we are all fine again.

 

[chocci]

Chocci - the range of emotions after any failure, failed IVF or miscarriage are intense. I totally agree that reading success stories is enormously helpful and we should set about having a permanent thread for people to post theirs when they have got there. It gets you down reading difficult stories. Journals are good but as you say it takes too much time to read through them all and when you are vulnerable you want to go straight to the good.

The way i feel at the moment, i have had a nasty fall, cut and bruised myself and i feel very shaky but i am already thinking about getting back on. I relate to others who have fallen too and want to support them but for now i also want to hear about people who have made it to the end as that is where I want to be too. Not going to let the fear of falling again deter me either. Like you though I am about 90% sure i will get there.

At least you will get two put back in next time and it won't be as bad not having to do the stimms. I bet you are already looking forward to it! I am having to reapply for my funding right now but the pct have verbally confirmed its ok. My Doc suggested trying naturally as well, but am in two minds. Obviously a fertalised egg got down them once but sceptical it will happen again and if it does the risk of ectopic is massive and it would set me back months if it was. Not sure whether to try naturally as well or just wait until ICSI. You are supposed to be more fertile after miscarriage. Uummmm

Tanya - good luck with the Stimms , shall be following yours and the other June/July girls stories.

I feel trapped this morning, I live in Glastonbury and the traffic is horrendous with festival traffic. I was going to go this year but cancelled my tickets as it was going to be around the time i was supposed to be having egg transfer. Life can be so unpredictable sometimes.

Hi hun

I think we are in a similar state of mind although due to differnet circumstances, i am glad you know how i feel and i can empathise with how you are feeling right now and its not a great feeling. I have spent time searching many forums and google for inspirational stories but to find them its easy to come across stories which are not really what we need right now, hence my idea for this thread, a one stop quick glance list of success and hope where when we are having a bad day, a negative day, we can read that others have been in the same place, been through the same stuff and got that ellusive BFP and the happy ever after ending.

I do appreciate the journals but like i said and not wanting to be misinterpreted again as i have been there is a lot to read in there and people will just have chit chat as it is their journals which i understand they are entiliteld to just as i am, but with a thread it would just be a short story about what happend, a few paragraphs about a persons experience, their history, how they felt during, and that great outcome we want to read about! People like us dont want to risk reading journals where the outcome is sad, not because we cant empathise or we dont care but becasue WE cant deal with that right now as we have too much pain! Some people it seems cannot understand that! I will be ingnoring their coments in the future since they obviously cant understand where I am coming from.

How come you have to reapply for funding? I have not got to that yet, i got one try at ICSI for free and i thought that was the end then i have been told i get all the FETS for free for this cycle but i only have 4 embies frozen so may only get 1 or 2 chances perhaps then its paid treatment. How many do you get for free? How long is the waiting list? I need to read your journal to undderstand your story and i will go do that? Do you have one?

Sounds like you have some very hard decisions to make, but i believe in fate, we are being taken down a path we are supposed to go down....its a learning journay for us, to make us stronger, to make us love those babies we will get more than anything!! With regards to the ectopic pregnancy risk there is one thing you have, you are aware of the risk, many people who have major problems were not aware. I am certainly no expert BUT those that have problems tend to have got pretty far in to pregnancy before they realised. Although there is a risk and i am sure its scary you will be able to bet checked early you will be looking for that pregnancy and will be able to go to docsotrs to find out if everything is ok very early on??? and although if it isnt it will be heartbreaking the risks are hopefully on the lower side if caught so early??? Again i am no expert. Have a good long things and wieght up the pros and cons of trying naturally as you are. Me.......well they didnt bother telling us to try naturally since i think my hubbies spremies would need rockets attatched to their tales for us to stand a chance

Glastonbury near your house sounds a nightmare!! I cant do with busy crowds, i need a holiday but its coming up to the time kids are off school and for multiple reasons i dont really want to be on holiday surrounded by loads of them haha XX

We will get their hun .... i know we will.......let me tell you one tiny story, a girl i knew tried for 6 years!!!! They never went for treatment since her hubby didnt want to, they had given in she had reached 39 and thought that was it, she then FELL preggers!!! at 39! naturally! after 6 years!! not only that 7 months after giving birth she said to me i have just had a right shock i was like whats up she said i am pregnant again!!!!!! can you believe it!! Now thats the type of story i like hearing!!! XXX

 

[chocci]

Mervs Mum, I think you have blown what Chocci said out of proportion. There are sites that have better success story threads and this thread is about trying to document our own on BNB a bit better. A forum is a group of people and we form friendships and want to share amongst each other. Like us all chocci feels part of this forum and wants to share these with the friends she has met here like she has seen on other forums. The success feels more real amongst people you have shared the journey with. I really do not think she was slagging off journals and if she can't be assed to trawl through journals, neither can i to be honest. I tend to have a connection with people than read their journal so i can get to know them better. I wouldn't get anything else done if i read them all. I will have a read of yours though Merv Mum.

When people say things on forums that i don't agree with i try and take a step back and respect their emotions at that time. We all moan at times, we all vent our frustration and we all cry at times and we probably get pissed off at other forum members too! then the next minute we are all fine again.

Thanks hun, you put it better than i could

My comments were made through emotion and probably not phrased the best but i feel sometimes on here people want to make more of it than is neccessary

X

 

[Mervs Mum]

Maybe I have Bramble but when she is repeatedly saying that people 'on here' 'just dont care' 'cant be assed' just because people might not have seen her thread or not actually have anything to share THEN adds to that how much better another forum is, I feel defensive - sorry but I do. You can tell I've been around here a while and I suppose that's why I dont take to kindly to it.
You are very welcome to read both my journals. I can tell you now that they contain NOTHING irrelevant to my TTC or pregnancy journeys as far as I am concerned

 

[chocci]

Maybe I have Bramble but when she is repeatedly saying that people 'on here' 'just dont care' 'cant be assed' just because people might not have seen her thread or not actually have anything to share THEN adds to that how much better another forum is, I feel defensive - sorry but I do. You can tell I've been around here a while and I suppose that's why I dont take to kindly to it.
You are very welcome to read both my journals. I can tell you now that they contain NOTHING irrelevant to my TTC or pregnancy journeys as far as I am concerned

I never repeatedly said it. I made a comment and i would have thought by now you would realise that the comment was made thorugh hurt, pain and emotion. I too understand the need to stick up for people and things but i also understand when to lay off or it can be seen as bullyish behavoir. if this thread has no relevance to you then please just leave, if i have upset you i am sorry but sometimes if someone says something you dont like its best to walk away or at least try to understand the pain that person may be going through rather than adding to that pain by arguing with them.

 

[Mervs Mum]

I think we will have to agree to disagree about you repeating certain phrases. I dont think it will be helpful to quote you again and again at this point.

I understand emotions run high in ALL areas of this forum - it's about what we individuals all want or care about most - our hoped for children and those children when we are finally blessed with them. So I fully understand thing are said in emotion - I have done it myself. But people have pointed it out to me to make me see how my comments might be taken by others in a different situation or with another perspective.

We ALL have to try to be considerate to one another so if you feel I havent been , I am truely sorry but there are always more than one perspective.

 

[chocci]

So how do we get the moderators to start a thread with just fertility treatment success stories or maybe one that incorperates success after hte pain of miscarriage. I think it will be of great benefit to many were they can go to it for inspiration and read brief snippets of stories where people tried and tried and tried again BUT finally got their BFP!! We all need inspiration, we all need hope, it helps us continue, like i said i appreciate the journals but not everyone hads the time to look through them all and sometimes we just want their story in a nutshell.....we want to goet straight to the point to the bit that makes us smile and feel positive.....we want that good feeling!!

How do we contact the mods?

 

[Mervs Mum]

PM them or post in the Forum Help & Testing area. Or look around the forum and you'll find that they post threads asking for suggestions......

https://www.babyandbump.com/announcements-newsletters/5077-babyandbump-team.html

 

[chocci]

Ta will try today

 

[Mervs Mum]

Good luck on the rest of your journey.

 

[x_Rainbow_x]

I think alot of women find it hard to talk about the IVF etc journey as for some it has been very hard and long.. i no if i ever get my baby threw IVF i never wanna think about all these years of hurt.

 

[Mervs Mum]

I think alot of women find it hard to talk about the IVF etc journey as for some it has been very hard and long.. i no if i ever get my baby threw IVF i never wanna think about all these years of hurt.

Big Tracie x

 

[Lilly123]

Mervs Mum, I think you have blown what Chocci said out of proportion. There are sites that have better success story threads and this thread is about trying to document our own on BNB a bit better. A forum is a group of people and we form friendships and want to share amongst each other. Like us all chocci feels part of this forum and wants to share these with the friends she has met here like she has seen on other forums. The success feels more real amongst people you have shared the journey with. I really do not think she was slagging off journals and if she can't be assed to trawl through journals, neither can i to be honest. I tend to have a connection with people than read their journal so i can get to know them better. I wouldn't get anything else done if i read them all. I will have a read of yours though Merv Mum.

When people say things on forums that i don't agree with i try and take a step back and respect their emotions at that time. We all moan at times, we all vent our frustration and we all cry at times and we probably get pissed off at other forum members too! then the next minute we are all fine again.

I agree with you I think we need to let this lie now and I think it has been blown way out of proportion.. we all say things we dont mean when we are upset and hurting... lets put that behind us and move on...

 

[Mervs Mum]

Agreed here