How much do I get to decide?

[NawlinsMama]

I'm so worried about my next appointment. I intend to hand over a copy of my birth plan to my OB then, and I just KNOW they're going to tell me 'no' to several of my requests, simply because some things are just not common around here. For instance, a couple of points that I expect some resistance on:

-I would like for the cord to stop pulsing before it is cut.

-I do not wish to have medication administered for the express purpose of inducing the expulsion of the placenta.

-Ideally, I would like to labor with minimum intervention. This includes fetal monitoring and internal exams, though I will happily accept a wireless fetal monitor.

I'm also going to refuse internal exams during the last few weeks of pregnancy, as well as induction for as long as possible. So how much choice do we get in this, ladies? If it comes down to hospital policy (not law, just general policy) and our wishes, which one is more important? Because I know my OB likes to induce at 39 weeks, and internal exams are routine every week from 35 weeks.

 

[Nyn]

I really don't know hun. You should, I think, be able to have a say in everything. They may ask you to sign something so that they aren't liable for anything? good luck

 

[shelleney]

Here in the UK, medical staff cant make you do anything you dont wanna do!!
We write our birth plans, and then the staff have to accept our wishes (although they advise us if something is unsafe, recommended, etc).
My birth plan states all of the above things that you have stated. And if they go against me, I will be mad!
Good luck!

 

[robinator]

If your doc says no, perhaps you could ask what his reasoning is for that. For example, if the reason they are saying no to the cord point is because he just wants to hurry up and get on with his day, well then, that's just not a good enough reason. Knowing their reasons may help you back up your own argument. Either way, stand your ground!

 

[NawlinsMama]

If your doc says no, perhaps you could ask what his reasoning is for that. For example, if the reason they are saying no to the cord point is because he just wants to hurry up and get on with his day, well then, that's just not a good enough reason. Knowing their reasons may help you back up your own argument. Either way, stand your ground!

I try to, but they really guilt you into things here! I initially refused the routine pap smear at 10 weeks (because I had one less than 2 years ago, and isn't there just something fundamentally wrong with waiting until I'm pregnant to go poking around at my cervix???), but they made me feel SO bad about it, like I was neglecting my child by not having one!

 

[tlh97990]

im curious about this as well. i had my cervix checked at 24 weeks because i was having a lot of low back pain and cramping. them checking my cervix was the most painful thing i have ever experienced and i would rather not have my cervix checked once a week for 4 weeks then constantly while in labor!

 

[robinator]

If your doc says no, perhaps you could ask what his reasoning is for that. For example, if the reason they are saying no to the cord point is because he just wants to hurry up and get on with his day, well then, that's just not a good enough reason. Knowing their reasons may help you back up your own argument. Either way, stand your ground!

I try to, but they really guilt you into things here! I initially refused the routine pap smear at 10 weeks (because I had one less than 2 years ago, and isn't there just something fundamentally wrong with waiting until I'm pregnant to go poking around at my cervix???), but they made me feel SO bad about it, like I was neglecting my child by not having one!

Sounds like your doc is one who only wants to do things HIS way and that isn't cool. If there isn't a medical reason for it, definitely stand up for what you want. Easier said than done, I know.

ETA: I plan on doing the same cord procedure as you; hope my doc will be okay with it!

 

[shelleney]

Could you perhaps get a midwife instead? They are using more understanding, and want whats best for the woman and her baby, compared to doctors....

 

[88Keys2]

You have the right to refuse anything you want to! If they don't like it, find another hospital and/or doctor. I know it's hard to stand up to them sometimes, but it's something we just have to do. I'm refusing the Hep shot that they give at birth. I don't think my doc likes it, but she will get over it.

 

[queenlavera]

I plan to do the things you mentioned as well, I hope I don't run into any resistance either. But I plan to keep to my guns they have to give me hard evidence that what I am requesting is either not safe or feasible. GL hun!

 

[ovetta2001]

Hey lovely - sorry to hear your doc is such a pain.

When it comes to the PAP smear I can understand why they would ask for it. Any STDs you may have could harm you, the baby and are a risk to the people taking care of you if they don't know how to handle it.

Apart from that...health care isn't free in the US so they get paid specifically for what they are doing. I don;t know if you are on medicare or insurance but if you are paying for it with insurance esp that will give you more of an argument.

The things you are asking for...and with enough notice and not over the top diva.
And with simple things like not wanting medication you have every right to say no - it is your body after all!

Just be specific with your birth plan - know in your heart its what you want, Then don't be bullied by them. Thay may be the experts in pregnancy but youre the expert in your body and not too long ago we managed just fine without all of these things

 

[NawlinsMama]

The only reason I wanted to turn down the pap is because they tend to make me spot, and that makes me VERY nervous! Also, I know for a fact that I don't have STD's etc, because I've had only one partner (my DH) since long before my previous pap was even preformed.

We do have insurance, but it's Tricare - so I get military doctors, who aren't known for their empathy. Even the midwife is very pushy! But thanks for all of the encouraging words, ladies. I guess I'll just have to learn to be pushy back!

 

[knitbit]

These sound reasonable. I doubt they would give you anything just to expel the placenta.

For monitoring, I think it's called a wireless telemetry unit. You'll have to check with your hospital to see if they have them. I used it with my last pregnancy because it was VBAC and they required monitoring 100% of the time.

 

[Hopefulgirlie]

Here in the uk they refuse to conduct pap smears until after the pregnancy is completed!! Seems strange that they would force you into it.... Here the docs seems to agree with you point of view in that early pregnancy really is not the best time to be prodding around!
As for the internals.... If they attempt without your express permission is constitutes an assault. Just be strong and don't let them guilt you into anything you're not comfortable with. Good luck honey x x

 

[tlh97990]

The only reason I wanted to turn down the pap is because they tend to make me spot, and that makes me VERY nervous! Also, I know for a fact that I don't have STD's etc, because I've had only one partner (my DH) since long before my previous pap was even preformed.

We do have insurance, but it's Tricare - so I get military doctors, who aren't known for their empathy. Even the midwife is very pushy! But thanks for all of the encouraging words, ladies. I guess I'll just have to learn to be pushy back!

I spotted after my pap at my first appointment when i was 7 weeks pregnant. i was literally in the doctors office crying because he was like "you're bleeding grab a pad and set up an ultrasound to see if theres even a baby still" he swore i was bleeding before he even did the pap which i know he was full of shit because i had to do a urine test before that and there was no blood in my underwear or when i wiped so how could i have been bleeding before! safe to say i switched doctors and made it clear to my doctor that if for some reason he wont be the one delivering my daughter i refuse for that other doctor to come near me!

 

[Sherileigh]

Inducing at 39 weeks???? Are you serious? For no reason? I think that's nuts!