how much free time do you get?

[Pearls18]

Absolutely I know first hand when my husband goes away, I'm just saying people shouldn't feel bad for wanting it, the op said she wished she had the mentality of the pp I don't think she should feel like that, if she wants me time I think a lot of good mums feel like that too, and I hope she can get some more, hopefully as we've said it will be easier when the children are older for her.

 

[sue_88]

I don't find it bad either but everything has a limit I don't want my entire life to be childcare and cleaning I am a person too, I love watching The Walking Dead with a bar of chocolate I can't do that around a 4 year old for many reasons lol! I like to have a bath with candles without toys being thrown in and someone trying to wash my hair with a flannel lol. I like to walk around the shops without having my arm tugged saying he's bored, needs a wee, leg suddenly hurts. I like to cuddle up on the sofa with hubby without having 2 jealous children screaming at me. Becoming a mother didn't change everything about me, I could give you a long list of all the things I love doing with my boys, I wouldnt change my life for anything and I am very happy, but I am happy because I get time to myself also.

I hate this guilt trip I see way too often on this site that we should feel bad if heaven forbid we don't love everything about motherhood 100% of the time, this pretence that we all believe we're the best mothers ever, we must cease to exist. And just because someone admits to needing a break sometimes doesn't make them a bad person or that they find anything at home "bad".

It's not a guilt trip for someone to say they don't need it.

I don't need it, I'm a single mum, sometimes struggle of course but I have different priorities, me time isn't one. But for some it is, and it's important.

I won't mince my words to avoid pissing someone off (such is life, can't keep everyone happy), I personally don't need it and for me would rather spend any time 'alone' sorting my house doing my chores that need doing making dinner etc and when my LO is awake and I'm not working I spend every minute with her.

You're life is different, and you have different priorities. That's fine also, and no need to be saying others a trying to make you feel guilty for the different priorities you have.

No one is saying at all needing a break is bad, my 'break' is my 8 hours on my feet at work. different strokes

 

[catty]

Yeh I think I am definately better when I can have a little break. Up until not long ago I was still getting up with them both during the night, now at least 5 nights a week they both sleep so at least that is some me time haha when im asleep.
I dont have time to have a shower in the days unless lucas is napping and thats not until 1 or 2. I know I just need to be patient and it will all get a bit easier when lucas can play on his own for small periods.
I used to noy believe people when they said they didnt have time for a shower but really he just creates far too much trouble when im not there.

 

[Pearls18]

I don't find it bad either but everything has a limit I don't want my entire life to be childcare and cleaning I am a person too, I love watching The Walking Dead with a bar of chocolate I can't do that around a 4 year old for many reasons lol! I like to have a bath with candles without toys being thrown in and someone trying to wash my hair with a flannel lol. I like to walk around the shops without having my arm tugged saying he's bored, needs a wee, leg suddenly hurts. I like to cuddle up on the sofa with hubby without having 2 jealous children screaming at me. Becoming a mother didn't change everything about me, I could give you a long list of all the things I love doing with my boys, I wouldnt change my life for anything and I am very happy, but I am happy because I get time to myself also.

I hate this guilt trip I see way too often on this site that we should feel bad if heaven forbid we don't love everything about motherhood 100% of the time, this pretence that we all believe we're the best mothers ever, we must cease to exist. And just because someone admits to needing a break sometimes doesn't make them a bad person or that they find anything at home "bad".

It's not a guilt trip for someone to say they don't need it.

I don't need it, I'm a single mum, sometimes struggle of course but I have different priorities, me time isn't one. But for some it is, and it's important.

I won't mince my words to avoid pissing someone off (such is life, can't keep everyone happy), I personally don't need it and for me would rather spend any time 'alone' sorting my house doing my chores that need doing making dinner etc and when my LO is awake and I'm not working I spend every minute with her.

You're life is different, and you have different priorities. That's fine also, and no need to be saying others a trying to make you feel guilty for the different priorities you have.

No one is saying at all needing a break is bad, my 'break' is my 8 hours on my feet at work. different strokes

I'm just trying to offer the op support, I've seen how these threads go and there is often a lot of passive aggression in them (not saying yours was) and I sometimes feel like they read like a guilt trip, I just wanted to say to the op she didn't need to feel bad for having a different mentality from those who dont feel they need a break.

 

[Pearls18]

And I would never expect you to mince your words Sue, I find your honesty a breath of fresh air.

 

[shellideaks]

I generally have evenings free. The babies go to bed at 7 and my oldest goes at 8. I do homework with him once the babies are in bed and I do any chores throughout the day when the babies nap. They play together a lot too these days so I'm lucky that I can still get things done when they're awake. DD also likes to 'help' clean, so that keeps her occupied.

 

[lau86]

I guess technically I do have free time in the evenings when the children go to bed, mostly my work is 9-5 for three days but I do work the occasional night/ weekend. The problem is I have most of the responsibilities for the children, my work and studying with my job. So I may have free time but there is always something better I should be doing, which means I usually do that or feel guilty for not doing it. I certainly don't feel like I don't get a break from my kids, I do, they're great and usually sleep well plus we go out from time to time.
It's not like before kids by a long way but my tiredness is definitely more mental than physical

 

[lindseymw]

I have a fair amount of free time. I no longer work so during a normal day for me now I have 2.5 hours on a morning child free. Sometimes I use it to tidy the house.....sometimes not. A tidy house is way down on my priorities!

On an evening, the boys go to bed at 7 and I go to bed around 11 so I have all that time either with DH or alone (DH works nights). I mainly spend that time watching films/series.

 

[Mummy Bean]

Since going back to work - none.
Im out the house 7.30 till 6.15. When I get in I spend an hr with the boys playing, then 30-60min to get them asleep. Then dinner, general tidy, change the washing over. Then might sit down with a glass of wine and a TV show for an hr before off to bed.
Weekends are filled with DIY on the house, cleaning, planned days out and visiting grand parents.

Seems relentless atm but I know it not forever.

 

[JessyG]

Sometimes i even end up going to bed same time as eldest then wake up start all over again. Such is life and this is mine.

Snap!

I tend to go to bed about an hour or so after my daughter as she is a poor sleeper so I am usually back to again before midnight for a couple of hours. That hour after bedtime if my only real free time. I work 4 days a week my oh and I work opposite days for childcare so we don't get a day off together. Nap time is usually spent tidying and cleaning the house so no real down time until bedtime which can be hit or miss as well.

I do miss a little me time but always said I would devote my time entirely to my daughter during her formative years. My oh drops my lo at my mums on a Thursday morning and has a few hours to himself before work. He says this is invaluable!

Once B is 3 and in nursery I may use those 3 hours on a Monday when I am off to have a bath, relax or do some shopping without chasing a toddler around lol!

 

[karlilay]

I'd say a lot. Madis at school, and Zach goes to preschool every day.
My mum/sister/aunts/gran all live in the same road, so the kids are always out and about. Madis been at my mums all day today.
Then they're in bed at 7... So I get evenings free. I don't do sod all though. I just chill and do house work. Haven't been out for 7 years!

 

[RaspberryK]

I probably get quite a bit of free time, but it doesn't feel like it.
It's been better since ds started preschool a couple of mornings a week and he will get 15 hours as of next week.
But by the time I drop him off it's time to collect him and I've been using the time recently either to shower in peace or get extra sleep.
I tend to do most of the chores in the day with him around (used to do a bit at nap time but he no longer naps) unless we've been out and something needs doing desperately in which case I'll do it after he's in bed by 7.30.
By his bed time I've usually lost the will to live so I rarely do more than pack the dishwasher and sit down - I suppose that's my free time.
If the in laws are in the country they will have him if I need to go somewhere, I have a few appointments in the next month which will use up babysitting credits.
If dh is awake after his night shift and I need to pop to the shops I try my best to leave ds with him and take my time.
I attempt to attend an aquanatal class once a week as my free time too but so far I've only been a handful of times.
Xx

 

[felix555]

I don't get much but I don't really crave it, if it was important to me to have it (nothing wrong with that) then I'd make it happen by asking my OH to look after our LO while I get it or I'd let go of the hang up of not wanting to leave my LO in someone else's care and get a babysitter.

In the future I will get more me time again but I accept right now this is what it's like and I don't mind it. At some stage he will start nursery so I will then get some time back.

I do crave sleep however if I had me time, it would be used for sleep!

It's ok to want me time and its also ok to be ok with being on lockdown for a few years while your LO is tiny. We all want different things in life.

 

[KatieB]

I'll be getting some time to myself for a couple of mornings a week starting next week as we have decided to put Alex in a local nursery for a couple of sessions a week. It will be the first time I've had any time child free since Louis was born and yes, I'm looking forward to it even though I'll probably end up catching up on housework.

 

[Lauraxamy]

In the week, between work and being a single Mum - not a lot. My evenings are spent with the LO's then getting everything ready for the next day, ironing, tidying, etc, so I maybe get an hour in the evenings to have a bath/watch a bit of Netflix in bed. I work every other weekend as well so I don't get every weekend to myself and of course my weekends off are spent with the LO's. However I'm quite lucky I guess that if I ever want to go out somewhere their Dad will more than likely agree to have them over night.

 

[Amy2701]

My free time is in the evenings. I spend all day running around like a looney after the kids and general housework (I don't work at the moment). Neither of mine nap anymore so they are little balls of energy all day long.

I usually shower in the morning before they wake up. If I don't do it then I can occasionally get away for a quick 3 minute shower if I put Monsters Inc on for them (it's their favourite, they know it word for word lol).

I record any programs I want to watch and always get the kids to bed by 7:30pm at the latest. They're USUALLY asleep by 8pm and then I cook (or order.. If it's been an especially difficult day lol) mine and DH's dinner. We eat and then I catch up on any TV from that night. I'm always up way later than I want to be, but I also enjoy the time to myself/with DH and can't bring myself to go to bed when the kids do.

My two still wake in the night sometimes (I really need to get rid of the dummies!!) so DH and I take it in turns to see to them.

 

[AnneD]

None. Hubby and I work opposite shifts so I work full time, then take over with our daughter when he goes to work in the evening and most weekends. She's not a good sleeper and needs lots of cuddling and nursing at night. If I get out of bed after she's asleep, it's to do housework. I don't mind too much. I love spending time with her and the only time I would actually like her to not be with me is when I want to clean the oven or bleach something. The oven needs a clean badly.

I forgot to say that sometimes on a weekend, hubby has her while I go to the loo or have a quick shower.

 

[MrsEngland]

Its definitely normal. I have the three girls all my own all week and hubby leaves before they get up and is home once they are in bed, two days a week im at college and the girls go to nursery or my mum but i get home and have to feed and bath them put them to bed, then i sit down to do any study or write assignments, hubby gets home about 8pm i cook and we eat then i study more and go bed.
At the weekends i try to blitz the house and keep up on washing ive not done in the week. Plus i have more study to do, occasionally hubby will take the girls out for an hour so i can either nap or study life is very hectic and im always exhausted but for the most part im happy!

 

[catty]

So today we have done a massive clean of the house not finished yet but have at least 2 skip runs to do and I feel sooo much better. I think the issue was just so much cleaning to get done but some of it is just so hard to get done with kids around. Im starting the year with the mindset of cleaning little and often rather than this crazy big clean that takes all day. I feel a big weight off my shoulders phew!

 

[Midnight_Fairy]

Do a timetable it works wonders x