How old is to old?

Discussion in 'Trying To Conceive Over 35' started by Suggerhoney, Oct 3, 2019.

  1. Suggerhoney

    Suggerhoney Well known member

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    Ok so seems a bit crazy writing this as my newborn son is only a week and half old.

    He was going to be our last baby due to my age (I will be the big 4 0 in December:-()

    But I wud really love just one more.
    It's a long way off yet but me and hubby have been talking about trying for just one more baby when Tommy is about 17 18 months old.
    Thinking of starting to ttc around February 2021. I will be 41 years old and if it happens baby wud be due when I'm either still 41 or 42. Is that to old? Am I being selfish?

    People say they just know when there done and I dont feel done yet. I think it wud be lovely for my son as well to have a sibling close in age to play with.

    I have spoken to the midwifes at the hospital and they said they have alot of womon in there 40s having babies.

    Theres just such a huge stigma on mums having babies past a certain age. I think its terrible.

    I feel more calmer and relaxed now being a new mum at 39 than I did with my first at age 23. As weird as that sounds.

    I just dont understand why older mums get so judged.

    Good luck to all of you ttc right now. Sending u lots of baby dust.
    Please dont let anyone discourage you and ridicule you for being older.
    This world is so judgemental:(
     
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  2. Beccaboo828

    Beccaboo828 Well-Known Member

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    If you feel it's right for you then go for it!
    More and more people are becoming parents later in life. My partner is 54 and we are ttc as you know xx
     
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  3. JessaBear36

    JessaBear36 Well-Known Member

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    My OH and I have been trying for #2 since beginning of this year . I'm going to be 38 tomorrow and just found out I'm pregnant been getting positive hpts past few days af due Sunday. We have a almost teenager and know it's crazy to have another child/baby being older then most an to be having a new baby. But in my opinion I think your never to old as long as you and hubby both say yes, then go for it. Long as your happy, healthy and stable money wise and are up to raising a new baby or 2 I see no problem being older. A lot of my friends are older than me and they are just having their babies way later in life.
     
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  4. OnErth&InHvn

    OnErth&InHvn Waiting on Bee

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    Im 34. After 35 and they start to freak out but I dont think that's old. If we are meant to have more, then yay!
     
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  5. Scout

    Scout Well-Known Member

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    I thought I'd never have a child and had moved on with life, then became pregnant 2 months before turning 46. I was shocked to say the least. I thought I was starting menopause when I missed my period. LOL She is now a healthy, happy 6 year old.

    I do feel sad at times that she will lose me at a younger age. I've had many tear filled nights having those thoughts. I have friends who lost their moms early in their life due to medical issues so I know it's never guaranteed that you'll have longer with your kids when you have them at a younger age, but it is guaranteed that she will not have me here when she's, say 50. I'm 52 and still feel like I need my mom, who is still very active and in great shape health wise. I don't think it's selfish though. I mean, I think if you asked my daughter if she was glad to have been born she'd say yes, and I hope she still feels that way even when she realizes how old her mom is. The alternative is her not being here at all and I can't imagine the world without her in it. And, even if I had a child earlier in life it wouldn't have been this exact child that I have now. I'm just so thankful for her. Was I too old? Some will say yes, but it is what it is. I actually think how the child is loved and cared for is more important than the age of the mom.
     
    #5 Scout, Oct 4, 2019
    Last edited: Oct 4, 2019
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  6. Deethehippy

    Deethehippy 4 children, 3 angels

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    I seem to be having lots of 'mistakes' at the moment (kinda accidentally on purpose!) I am 45 and my OH is 53 and we have 4 children. I think if you are feeling like it is right then sometimes it is, doesn't matter about what other people are doing or your age, everyones circumstances are different. Congrats on your little one :)
     
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  7. Suggerhoney

    Suggerhoney Well known member

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    Definitely hon I dont think age shouldn't matter.
    Oh hon I pray it happens for you you have had such a long haul and u so deserve it.
    Now we have decided we will ttc again in 18 months I'm going to be staying on baby and bump and I'm so sure I will be seeing ure BFP soon. [-o<
     
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  8. Suggerhoney

    Suggerhoney Well known member

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    38 is fine hon. I found out I was pregnant back in feb at 39 and gave birth at 39 and all went well.
    I'm finding it easier this time than I did when I was 23. I think when ure older u have way more patience pluss you have gotten all the going out and partying out of ure system and feel more content just being at home now and have no desire to go out. Where as when ure young it's all about nights out and fun.
    I love being an older mum and I'm definitely going to try for one more baby when I'm 41. I know if I dont I will regret it.
     
  9. Suggerhoney

    Suggerhoney Well known member

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    I know hon its ridiculous isnt it. 35 is so young still.
    I see it if it's meant to be and Gods will then it will happen no matter what age we are.
    When I had my first it was all like oh u cant have babies past 35 big no no but it's all changed now.
    Google gives a real low rate of pregnancy from 40 onwards it's like 5% chance or something like that but I've been told that its not true and it's a much higher chance than that.
    I'm gonna leave it until I'm 41 then try again and leave it in Gods hands. [-o<
     
  10. Suggerhoney

    Suggerhoney Well known member

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    Wow hon that's amazing. Yes I totally agree with you. I just see age as a number at the end of the day. I think as long as u can bring that child up with all the love in the world then just go for it.
    I'm gonna hold out until march 2021 then ttc again. I know if I dont then I'll regret it. It mite not happen but hopfully it does.
    Its funny because with my first at 23 I found the new born stage so hard and so tiring and was just willing the months away but I'm absolutely loving being an older mum. I have say more patience and so much more calmer and more stable than I was back then.
    Here here for us older mums:yipee:
     
  11. mentormel

    mentormel Well-Known Member

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    I'm 42 and pregnant with my oops 3rd. My other two are almost 7 and 9. While not planned, I am so excited about having another baby...after the shock wore off that is.
     
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  12. AllyTiel

    AllyTiel Well-Known Member

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    Okay so this is a tad off topic but I’m honestly wondering, how on earth can you think of another baby when you are in the middle of waking up all night and just not being a rested person anymore? No judgement at all lol but I just feel miserable with a newborn! It is not a time I enjoy at all and I can’t wait until they are a bit bigger and sleeping all night.
    To answer your other question, I think that is unique to every individual as to how old is too old. It’s a decision between you and your partner that only the two of you should get the say in. Weigh your pros and cons. Would you regret not going for it in 10 years? Then at least try to go for it!
     
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  13. Suggerhoney

    Suggerhoney Well known member

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    Amazing hon congratulations that is very encouraging to hear. U read google and it freaks u out about ure chances over 40 that's why I just had to post here. Feel so much better now and not such a debbie downer about turning the big 40 lol.
     
  14. Suggerhoney

    Suggerhoney Well known member

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    Because I'm completely bonkers lol.
     
  15. Suggerhoney

    Suggerhoney Well known member

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    It will be my very last time to have a chance of having one more b4 I'm truly passed it. I think I wud definitely regret it if it got to 5 years down the line and I cudnt have any more. I wud definitely wait longer than 18 months if I was younger but the old body clock is ticking away so thinking ahead.
     
  16. noon_child

    noon_child Well-Known Member

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    I don't think it is selfish. I know lots of people who have had children at 42. However, medically speaking it is statistically more difficult to conceive and there are higher chances of abnormalities, but if you are aware of potential difficulties and still want to go ahead then that is your choice to make. We should be celebrating that we have the choice, not tearing each other down for making different choices to our own.
     
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  17. Suggerhoney

    Suggerhoney Well known member

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    Yes hon I totally agree. Its horrible how society makes us feel real bad.
    No one shud be judged. Children are a blessing from God so when it comes to it I will just leave it all in his hands and sod society.

    I think older mums shud be celebrated and not mocked.
     
    #17 Suggerhoney, Oct 18, 2019 at 11:19 PM
    Last edited: Oct 18, 2019 at 11:25 PM

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