How to nicely say "adults only" baby shower

[elle86]

found these on some other sites;

You're invited to a Ladies only Baby shower, a special day to relax and get away from the kids and have fun with just the girls

You are invited to a girls day where we can talk about babies and oh and ahh with out our husbands complaining and children wanting a present also, and all in the disguise of a baby shower for...

You've been invited to an exclusive event, no kids, no husband, just us girl having fun

~enjoying the last chance to be alone with the mother-to-be~

It's time for the grown ups to have some fun before the arrival of the little one. So please be advised to be on time and leave all your little precious ones behind.

Make sure you have a sitter, because this event is just for us grown up girls

 

[mrs_park]

found these on some other sites;

You're invited to a Ladies only Baby shower, a special day to relax and get away from the kids and have fun with just the girls

You are invited to a girls day where we can talk about babies and oh and ahh with out our husbands complaining and children wanting a present also, and all in the disguise of a baby shower for...

You've been invited to an exclusive event, no kids, no husband, just us girl having fun

~enjoying the last chance to be alone with the mother-to-be~

It's time for the grown ups to have some fun before the arrival of the little one. So please be advised to be on time and leave all your little precious ones behind.

Make sure you have a sitter, because this event is just for us grown up girls

Love this one!

 

[florence79]

It is a bit silly to get offended by an invitation perhaps... but I must admit I did feel a bit offended when one of my friends made it clear that children were not welcome at her wedding! It's hard not to feel offended when the little person you love most in the world is directly excluded, in black and white... I thought it was odd with a wedding though - a family event if ever there was one - especially when you're in your 30s; at least some of your friends are bound to have kids?!!

But I couldn't say what the etiquette is with baby showers... don't really get the whole thing!

 

[elle86]

I think weddings are about the couple, not children of the guests!! Its nice to have wedding guests relaxed and enjoying the day without running after their kids for just one day... Also babies have particularly bad timing with screaming right when the vows are happening

 

[wristwatch24]

I agree with elle in that it's not about hurting the couple and excluding their child, but rather about the situation not being appropriate for children. Honestly, the few children we had at our wedding (family members who were part of the ceremony only) were bored within minutes and wanted to go home anyway. I think parents really need to not take these kinds of things personally, as it's not about them. It's about the host/couple having a carefree time not worrying about kids. My brother's wedding was insane because his wife's nephew was an absolute terror running around, nearly tripping the wait staff, screaming at inappropriate times, etc...and nobody even tried to stop him! I felt awful because my brother and his wife were seriously chasing the little boy around the entire night and my brother expressed his frustration to me multiple times.

 

[wristwatch24]

found these on some other sites;

You're invited to a Ladies only Baby shower, a special day to relax and get away from the kids and have fun with just the girls

You are invited to a girls day where we can talk about babies and oh and ahh with out our husbands complaining and children wanting a present also, and all in the disguise of a baby shower for...

You've been invited to an exclusive event, no kids, no husband, just us girl having fun

~enjoying the last chance to be alone with the mother-to-be~

It's time for the grown ups to have some fun before the arrival of the little one. So please be advised to be on time and leave all your little precious ones behind.

Make sure you have a sitter, because this event is just for us grown up girls

Those are so cute! I think there is something wrong with my Google skills, because when I tried to search I couldn't find much of anything useful!

 

[babydevil1989]

its alright if you have someone to leave the kids with....not everyone has the option x

 

[florence79]

Hmmm - you take the baby out of the church if it's crying though... At least, that's what I'd do. I just think it's weird to pretend children aren't a part of family life. Of course the wedding is about the couple though. You have to keep your children under control!

I think I'm still a little bit uncomfortable with the phrase 'it's about [insert person's/people's name] when applied to any day that is being turned from an important life event into some sort of disneyland affair ... A wedding is about the vows. It's not about swanning around going 'me, me, me' (although some people I know think that's PRECISELY what it is!) It's weird to me when people do that with a birth too - it seems to take on a horribly inappropriate commercial and theatrical edge. So I don't get baby showers at all, I'm afraid.

 

[elle86]

Maybe not Which is a shame but it's one day that is a long time in the planning and a lot of money spent by the couple.. If a guest can't Make the effort to Plan ahead maybe they are best not attending. Most invites are sent months in advance

 

[elle86]

SorrY my post was in response to babydevil

 

[elle86]

And every wedding I've been to the parents let the kids scream the place down ! It's a personal choice and I'm glad we decided against children at our wedding- dam right the wedding is about me and my husband saying out vows I front of friends and family - I can't see how a wedding is about everyone else!

 

[wristwatch24]

Yeah I don't think it's "me me me" and people should "swarm" to me, but the point is that the couple has planned this event to celebrate their marriage, and when most of the time is spent with screaming/running kids it's not enjoyable for them. It should be an enjoyable day for the couple, or, in the case of a baby shower, for the mother-to-be. It's not about attention. And people, from what I've seen, definitely do NOT remove their children from these situations when they're being loud.

Just this weekend I was at the movies (Iron Man 3) with DH. This family came in with a little girl and the girl kept SCREAMING during the movie "I want popcorn!!" and crying and the parents did absolutely nothing. I get it, kids aren't adults and they will scream, but why bring them to an evening showing of a movie that is clearly for adults? But it's not as common sense as you think to take a screaming kid out of a public place, because many don't.

 

[surprisedmama]

Yeah I don't think it's "me me me" and people should "swarm" to me, but the point is that the couple has planned this event to celebrate their marriage, and when most of the time is spent with screaming/running kids it's not enjoyable for them. It should be an enjoyable day for the couple, or, in the case of a baby shower, for the mother-to-be. It's not about attention. And people, from what I've seen, definitely do NOT remove their children from these situations when they're being loud.

Just this weekend I was at the movies (Iron Man 3) with DH. This family came in with a little girl and the girl kept SCREAMING during the movie "I want popcorn!!" and crying and the parents did absolutely nothing. I get it, kids aren't adults and they will scream, but why bring them to an evening showing of a movie that is clearly for adults? But it's not as common sense as you think to take a screaming kid out of a public place, because many don't.

My own husband disagrees with me on this one. If my daughter starts fussing or throwing a fit when we're out and about, then the outing is over. I remove her from the situation. Many a time I have finished my dinner at home when we went out to eat. He thinks that fussing is normal and that other people "should just get over it". I reminded him that when we were without kids, we didn't appreciate the behavior, so things shouldn't change.

He's asked me several times if I've wanted to go to the movies with my daughter. Uh, no, disaster in the making. I'll wait until grandma can watch her or it comes out on DVD.

And honestly? I'd rather have a note about "no children" in black and white so then I don't have to ask. I probably wouldn't and would just make arrangements for my daughter. But then I at least know and have time to plan. We just received an invite for a graduation party addressed to "Lindsey and Jeff XXXX and Family". I know it's fine to bring daughter, but had it just been "Lindsey and Jeff" I would have made arrangements for her.

 

[babydevil1989]

Maybe not Which is a shame but it's one day that is a long time in the planning and a lot of money spent by the couple.. If a guest can't Make the effort to Plan ahead maybe they are best not attending. Most invites are sent months in advance

see parents are screwed whatever they do - i have no one to look after DS other than me or OH - taking my child would piss the person off and declining makes me look selfish, a bad friend or being petty.

 

[Rainstorm]

The real problem with having children in certain events is that many parents are completely oblivious to the fact that they must keep an eye on them. For example, not long ago I was having coffee with my husband at this nice cafe, chatting and enjoying sunday afternoon, and the table next to us were three couples with two children each. The children were making a terrible mess, taking out the paper napkings from the holder and throwing them up the air, stealing napking holders and ashtrays from other tables to play with them, screaming.. they were practically on top of us, and the parents just kept laughing and chatting, completely ignoring the kids. Is it fair for me to ruin my afternoon out so that you can enjoy yours?? it's YOUR children!
I for instance did have kids at my wedding, and they had fun and didn't make a mess or get loud, they enjoyed themselves and let their parents enjoy the event as well.
But some parents just don't have any respect for other people and expect everybody around them, even strangers, to babysit their kids.

 

[wristwatch24]

Maybe not Which is a shame but it's one day that is a long time in the planning and a lot of money spent by the couple.. If a guest can't Make the effort to Plan ahead maybe they are best not attending. Most invites are sent months in advance

see parents are screwed whatever they do - i have no one to look after DS other than me or OH - taking my child would piss the person off and declining makes me look selfish, a bad friend or being petty.

The "petty" part would come in if you COULD find a sitter but just didn't come on principle thinking that your kid SHOULD be invited. Not being able to because you legitimately can't find a sitter is a completely different story.

 

[wristwatch24]

Yeah I don't think it's "me me me" and people should "swarm" to me, but the point is that the couple has planned this event to celebrate their marriage, and when most of the time is spent with screaming/running kids it's not enjoyable for them. It should be an enjoyable day for the couple, or, in the case of a baby shower, for the mother-to-be. It's not about attention. And people, from what I've seen, definitely do NOT remove their children from these situations when they're being loud.

Just this weekend I was at the movies (Iron Man 3) with DH. This family came in with a little girl and the girl kept SCREAMING during the movie "I want popcorn!!" and crying and the parents did absolutely nothing. I get it, kids aren't adults and they will scream, but why bring them to an evening showing of a movie that is clearly for adults? But it's not as common sense as you think to take a screaming kid out of a public place, because many don't.

My own husband disagrees with me on this one. If my daughter starts fussing or throwing a fit when we're out and about, then the outing is over. I remove her from the situation. Many a time I have finished my dinner at home when we went out to eat. He thinks that fussing is normal and that other people "should just get over it". I reminded him that when we were without kids, we didn't appreciate the behavior, so things shouldn't change.

He's asked me several times if I've wanted to go to the movies with my daughter. Uh, no, disaster in the making. I'll wait until grandma can watch her or it comes out on DVD.

And honestly? I'd rather have a note about "no children" in black and white so then I don't have to ask. I probably wouldn't and would just make arrangements for my daughter. But then I at least know and have time to plan. We just received an invite for a graduation party addressed to "Lindsey and Jeff XXXX and Family". I know it's fine to bring daughter, but had it just been "Lindsey and Jeff" I would have made arrangements for her.

I feel exactly the same way. Outing is over if behavior becomes an issue and it's making it so other people can't enjoy their time out.

I, too, would prefer the clarification so that it doesn't become a question at all.

 

[wristwatch24]

The real problem with having children in certain events is that many parents are completely oblivious to the fact that they must keep an eye on them. For example, not long ago I was having coffee with my husband at this nice cafe, chatting and enjoying sunday afternoon, and the table next to us were three couples with two children each. The children were making a terrible mess, taking out the paper napkings from the holder and throwing them up the air, stealing napking holders and ashtrays from other tables to play with them, screaming.. they were practically on top of us, and the parents just kept laughing and chatting, completely ignoring the kids. Is it fair for me to ruin my afternoon out so that you can enjoy yours?? it's YOUR children!
I for instance did have kids at my wedding, and they had fun and didn't make a mess or get loud, they enjoyed themselves and let their parents enjoy the event as well.
But some parents just don't have any respect for other people and expect everybody around them, even strangers, to babysit their kids.

Yeah it really comes down to parenting most of the time. I don't blame the kids if the parents are just letting them run around doing whatever they want. The worst is when I see parents post pictures of those things on Facebook with something like "lol, writing all over the restaurant wall!" or something along those lines. It isn't funny to anyone but the parent! lol

 

[elle86]

Maybe not Which is a shame but it's one day that is a long time in the planning and a lot of money spent by the couple.. If a guest can't Make the effort to Plan ahead maybe they are best not attending. Most invites are sent months in advance

see parents are screwed whatever they do - i have no one to look after DS other than me or OH - taking my child would piss the person off and declining makes me look selfish, a bad friend or being petty.

if you couldn't find someone suitable (even after three months notice- obviously a newborn is a little different) to look after your DS you could contact the Bride directly and let them know..this happened with my cousin at my sisters wedding- she was still able to come to the ceremony because she let her know that she had no one else available but she couldn't come to the reception because it was up a flight of stairs and there was no room for a pram around the table settings. The only reason she couldn't allow children is the numbers and space of her venue...and if she allowed 1 persons child she would have had to invite everyone's! an that was around 20 people over her limit.

DH cousin had a little girl and we only wrote the parents names on the invites and they had family look after her and had a great night out.

 

[jenniferttc1]

just write adult women only please. I understand only wanting adults at the party, kids could get chaotic and honestly it's nice to get out to a gathering and leaving them with daddy!
But you can't get upset if people don't come cause they can't bring their kids. If I didn't have my husband or mom I would not go anywhere. It's expensive enough to buy present, the gas up there and then to pay a babysitter.
As for the kids being wild out, I totally get that frustration, but believe me, it's more stressful on the parents cause most are trying to keep them happy and a lot of times nothing works, and I know it keeps me anxious and bothered trying to keep my whole surrounding at peace.