Husband wont make love to me :(

Discussion in 'Pregnancy - Second Trimester' started by babyhopes2010, Jun 1, 2011.

  1. babyhopes2010

    babyhopes2010 one boy one girl.perfect!

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    We went on holiday to Rhodes on 11th-21st May we were doing it all day every day :haha:

    Since we come back:nothing:cry:
    He kept saying he was tired:dohh:
    But dressed up for him and he just pushed me away saying he just thought it was wierd :cry: i feel so unloved,he doesnt want to make love to me cos i have a bump.

    Im so upset:cry: so no making love until babys born then the baby will be excuuse.i dont get it as he has very high sex drive.whats happened?i feel so ugly?:cry:

    Anyone else going through the same :cry:
     
  2. AFatKindaThin

    AFatKindaThin Well-Known Member

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    My partner went through a stage of this when o first started getting my bump so to speak. It's all back to normal now though hun. Talk to him and explain how its making you feel, hopefully he will snap out of it soon. Good luck x x x
     
  3. RaspberryK

    RaspberryK Well-Known Member

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    Awww you need to talk to him, he might just be stressed and tired, or if it definitely is bump issues you could perhaps work around it so he is less aware of the bump?

    x
     
  4. babyhopes2010

    babyhopes2010 one boy one girl.perfect!

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    its only just lately hes started feeling my tummy and talking to it,well yelling 'hello':haha: which is funny but wierd! :rofl: he seems to think theres something perverted about making love when his willies close to the baby,iv told him its no where near u cant damage the baby!

    He cant be stressed as far as not wating baby we been trying for years x
     
  5. RaspberryK

    RaspberryK Well-Known Member

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    I was the one that felt like he did in the beginning, and if the baby kicks or my bump gets touched or squished I am completely put off... just got to talk about ways of making it comfortable for you both.

    x
     
  6. 10.Laura

    10.Laura Well-Known Member

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    From various things I've read, I think a lot of men feel a bit weird about their willy being so close to the baby, despite most of the literature saying it is fine (but how many men are actually going to read all that!?). Explain how you are feeling to him when you can - if he's really that uncomfortable with penetration, then you may both just have to get inventive!
     
  7. dragonhawk

    dragonhawk Mummy to Jonathan

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    Without wishing to put too finer point across, my husband hasn't come near me in that sense since we found out that we were expecting, until this weekend.

    He was so concerned that something would happen to the baby or me. I'm not sure, but I have a feeling that he's been reading some stuff online about it and found that it is safe.

    We both have a pretty high desire for eachother but it's only recently that I have felt comfortable in my own body to even have him that near to me, regardless of the fact that we've both wanted sex. I've just felt fat, whereas now I feel happy in myself and that this is all happening for a very good reason, in that dh and I are meant to be parents now.

    Unfortunately I would definitely suggest not taking it personally, but it is something that will come and go as a desire, I believe.
     
  8. sazibubba

    sazibubba pregnant with 2nd bubba

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    my bfs the same, but his more worried he will hurt me. tbh i hav lost my appetite for sex altogether and i dont know how to get it back :( good luck with your fella xxxx
     
  9. It sounds as though things are more real to him now, and he has made a connection with your baby, which is lovelly. This may make him feel weird or uneasy about making love. I would def speak to him, and just gently let him know how you feel. He might have concerns about hurting baby.

    I went through this myself with baby #1 and felt really weird about making love, as I felt like I was being watched in a sense, but now I feel differently, and realise that is is healthy for baby to feel your connection to eachother.

    :hugs:
     
  10. Honeybear1976

    Honeybear1976 Well-Known Member

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    Hi,
    A lot of men have an issue with initimacy as your bump grows, kind of freaks them out :) . Fortunately we are still making love at the moment, but not as often as pe bump and I know it will get less towards the end of the pregnancy :( My oh certainly isn't dillusional enough to think his penis is anywhere near the baby :rofl: (some really measure themselves in feet instead of inches :haha:). It's just the bump that puts my other half off, it's awkward and very in your face. Try and relax, he won't have gone off you. Try to discuss it with him, say you understand the bump makes it feel weird for him, (make it all about him, that should work for men!!!) but you still want to make him feel good and that doesn't necessarily have to involve penetration, AND that then he could touch etc you to so you can at least still have that closeness and some pleasure :)
    Hope it soon sort itself out for you :hugs:
     
  11. CatherineK

    CatherineK Well-Known Member

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    I was the one that was too nervous to want to have sex during my first pregnancy, but I got over it about halfway through. This time, neither of us have any problems with it, but with a two year old, and both of us working opposite shifts, we are lucky to find time once a week. I think you have to have a sense of humor about it too, especially as you get bigger and bigger! I remember around eight or nine months last time half of our attempts to get 'creative' ended up in fits of giggles :)
     

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