tjhstobbart
Well-Known Member
- Joined
- Jan 9, 2019
- Messages
- 58
- Reaction score
- 14
I’m in such emotional turmoil. I’m having a break (May even end it with him) as he is very controlling and emotionally blackmailing me, obsessive, overbearing. I can’t stand it any more and I have told him time and time again but I can see now it’s a control to get me where’s he wants me - isolated. I go every where with him I don’t do anything alone he checks my movements tells me my friends are arse holes. Says he only has me and I only have him I’m completely lost myself. I wanted a baby not because I loved him but because I know I could love a baby unconditionally. Hes made me feel like I can’t do anything alone and I can’t manage the house without him which I know I can I did before him and would again.
I have two children from a previous marriage (that one was more physical abuse which was kind of easier to deal with as I knew what I was getting where as this one is mentally debilitating) he says he loves me can’t lose me we made a baby together with love he can’t lose me bla bla bla. But now I face the fear and worry of bringing this third baby in to the world (my other 2 are 4 and 7) I have no family support and no friends close by. Everything depends on me school run hospital doctor dentist everything I have no child care. I’m now petrified of my emotional state and bringing a baby in to it when I really feel I won’t and can’t cope with it. I’m really at a loss here and I don’t know what to do. I’ve always always believed abortion is so so wrong and killing a child is absolute barbaric but I’m finding my self in this hole that I can’t get out of and I would say it’s the lowest part of my life I feel no connection to the baby at all although I have tried so hard. I just can’t find it in me and I don’t know why it’s awful. Adoption is not an option for me I couldn’t stand knowing there is a child in an adoptive parents house whilst I carry on with my children that are older but I couldn’t cope or face the other one it’s just not an option. I’m sorry for the long post I just don’t know or have any one to turn too
I have two children from a previous marriage (that one was more physical abuse which was kind of easier to deal with as I knew what I was getting where as this one is mentally debilitating) he says he loves me can’t lose me we made a baby together with love he can’t lose me bla bla bla. But now I face the fear and worry of bringing this third baby in to the world (my other 2 are 4 and 7) I have no family support and no friends close by. Everything depends on me school run hospital doctor dentist everything I have no child care. I’m now petrified of my emotional state and bringing a baby in to it when I really feel I won’t and can’t cope with it. I’m really at a loss here and I don’t know what to do. I’ve always always believed abortion is so so wrong and killing a child is absolute barbaric but I’m finding my self in this hole that I can’t get out of and I would say it’s the lowest part of my life I feel no connection to the baby at all although I have tried so hard. I just can’t find it in me and I don’t know why it’s awful. Adoption is not an option for me I couldn’t stand knowing there is a child in an adoptive parents house whilst I carry on with my children that are older but I couldn’t cope or face the other one it’s just not an option. I’m sorry for the long post I just don’t know or have any one to turn too