I’m 15 weeks but can not connect and feel I don’t want this baby

[tjhstobbart]

I’m in such emotional turmoil. I’m having a break (May even end it with him) as he is very controlling and emotionally blackmailing me, obsessive, overbearing. I can’t stand it any more and I have told him time and time again but I can see now it’s a control to get me where’s he wants me - isolated. I go every where with him I don’t do anything alone he checks my movements tells me my friends are arse holes. Says he only has me and I only have him I’m completely lost myself. I wanted a baby not because I loved him but because I know I could love a baby unconditionally. Hes made me feel like I can’t do anything alone and I can’t manage the house without him which I know I can I did before him and would again.
I have two children from a previous marriage (that one was more physical abuse which was kind of easier to deal with as I knew what I was getting where as this one is mentally debilitating) he says he loves me can’t lose me we made a baby together with love he can’t lose me bla bla bla. But now I face the fear and worry of bringing this third baby in to the world (my other 2 are 4 and 7) I have no family support and no friends close by. Everything depends on me school run hospital doctor dentist everything I have no child care. I’m now petrified of my emotional state and bringing a baby in to it when I really feel I won’t and can’t cope with it. I’m really at a loss here and I don’t know what to do. I’ve always always believed abortion is so so wrong and killing a child is absolute barbaric but I’m finding my self in this hole that I can’t get out of and I would say it’s the lowest part of my life I feel no connection to the baby at all although I have tried so hard. I just can’t find it in me and I don’t know why it’s awful. Adoption is not an option for me I couldn’t stand knowing there is a child in an adoptive parents house whilst I carry on with my children that are older but I couldn’t cope or face the other one it’s just not an option. I’m sorry for the long post I just don’t know or have any one to turn too

 

[OnErth&InHvn]

It's too late now but you need birth control, no baby in this crazy relationship. You also now NEED to leave him. Get help NOW.

 

[AngelUK]

Get in contact with a women's shelter and talk to them. They might be able to help. But whatever you do get out of that house and relationship as soon as you can. Do not subject yourself or your children to this abuse. Sticks and stones may break your bones but words will cut you to the quick. Nothing is as soul destroying as emotional abuse. Please leave him! Once you are out of that environment and you can breathe freely without the strangling vines around you you will feel better in every way and can then find a solution. Good luck!