I am finally pregnant, but cant seem to be happy...help me out ladies

[iBeach]

Hello everyone.

Sorry, I didn't know where to post this, and I feel lost.

I am 6 weeks now and its so exciting! I am over the moon about baby, but there are things that make me wanna cry and regret getting pregnant.

I have amazing boyfriend, who is soooo excited about the pregnancy. We do not live together, and he wants me to move in with him. However, I have two cats, and he doesn't want them.

I currently live with my sister, her husband and kids, and this situation is just fine for me, possibly me and the baby.

I would love to move in with him, but I WILL NOT give up my pets. They are indoor cats, 8 years old.

I am just so broken hearted over this. He keeps saying, I have more important things to take care of soon, than the cats....

I am just going to cry little more.

 

[Sander]

Congrats on your pregnancy!

Is your bf allergic to cats or he just doesn’t want them? Do you know why?

You have to be careful with cats during pregnancy as their litter can be dangerous to your health while you’re pregnant. If you aren’t already, you need to have someone else be changing the litter box. Also it’s possible your baby could be allergic to your cats once he/she is born. I know how precious pets are, but your boyfriend is right that your little baby will outrank the cats once it comes.

Hopefully you guys can work something out!

 

[iBeach]

Thank you Sander,
I see your point.
He isn't allergic , but he is from different culture where animals live outside, not in the house.

I am pretty sure I am fine changing cat litter. I change it once a day, and that's not enough time for toxoplasmosis bacteria to build up, I have spoken to a doctor about it, he said its fine, and I have built up enough antibodies for it anyway.

And once baby is here, I don't see a reason to get rid of them either... I personally known many families who have lots of cats, dogs and newborns.

I don't think we will work this out unfortunately. I will probably live where I am with the baby and he can come visit.

But I will not get rid of them. I adopted them 8 years ago and took responsibility for their lives. I will not trash them, just because something else came along.

 

[Carlee]

Good for you iBeach!
Standing by the commitment you made to those cats shows integrity and responsability.
It's a pity that your bf would put you in such a predicament. He's right when he says that the baby is more important than the cats though. However he is letting the cats stop him from living with his child...

 

[iBeach]

Yes Carlee!
Its very silly from his part.
But commitment is commitment. If I happened to have a child from previous relationship, I wouldn't toss it aside, because I am expecting a new one.
Whether its a person, cat, dog or whatever it is, once we choose a responsibility and commitment, we need to stick with it.

 

[Carlee]

Yes Carlee!
Its very silly from his part.
But commitment is commitment. If I happened to have a child from previous relationship, I wouldn't toss it aside, because I am expecting a new one.
Whether its a person, cat, dog or whatever it is, once we choose a responsibility and commitment, we need to stick with it.

Exactly iBeach! I totally agree!

 

[red_head]

A pet is part of the family 100%. If he would let a cat stop him living with you and his baby that’s insane to me. Although I love cats! My husband is really allergic and honestly it was a genuine hard decision to marry him as I knew that meant never having one again my whole life. I still get a little upset realising that!! I keep meaning to volunteer at a shelter to get my fix, but I’m worried that’ll upset me more!! Anyway, I think you should 100% stick to your guns, I wouldn’t let anyone come between me and my pets. And if he has any sense of priority he will come round and let you live together with your whole family, cats included! And if he doesn’t, the cats are for sure the better option anyway!

 

[iBeach]

Thank you red_head.!!
They for sure are part of the family.
And there is no medical reason on his side, just stubbornness.
If he told me now, that I can never have a dog, I would be fine, as I do not have one yet. But I cant get rid odd someone I had for years.
I moved these cats from New York to Florida and now back to NY. We are family... all of us...
On the other hand, they are healthy, clean and easy going. I don't feel any harm to anything or anyone.

 

[Dreamer429]

I am really hoping he checks his priorities soon.
That is absolutely ridiculous to of him to choose living apart from his CHILD and the mother of HIS CHILD just because of some (likely adorable) kitties.
Sounds like he is acting quite immature / disconnected atm.
I bet once you are a bit further along he will realize how small he is being and shift gears.

If i had been pregnant before DH and i moved in, and I had my puppy, i would never just toss my pup aside at his whim.

You are mommy to those kitties and that baby - i think its wonderful you are honoring your commitment.

 

[missielibra]

Is there maybe another reason? Other than medical?

I had a friend, and it took years to find out why she hated animals. She just said, I don't like them. But it turned out that a cat had really done a number on her face when she was kid (blood, stitches, the whole shabam), and it just developed into her not being able to be around cats, dogs, rabbits, name it, she didn't like them. But all she would tell people was that she was not an animal person. It just traumatized her and she didn't want to talk about it.

Does he maybe have something that happened that you don't know about? That maybe he never wanted to mention? Because if that's the case, it would at least give you guys a stepping stone for a conversation.

 

[iBeach]

He doesn't have a specific reason...
He just says: animals should live outside...he is from Caribbean and grew up with dogs and cats, but they lived outside. However, they have accommodations for them to live outside. Here, in NY we don't... They do not go outside, because of the cars, other animals and horrible people who poison other peoples cats.

 

[doggylover]

Oh for heavens sake. Is he the baby here? I understand everyone has their opinions on animals, and if it was about you getting a NEW animal I think him saying no would be fair enough. But you can’t get rid of your cats because he is acting like a petulant child (in my opinion!). What a load of nonsense. If he wants to put the cats before living with his baby, so be it. It’s his loss at the end of the day.