I didn't know, but still feel

[woldkelk]

I had a ectopic preg. and found out only a day before that I was preg. After all the physical side effects have gone away my mind is really screwed up. I keep thinking about it. I feel like it shouldn't be this big of a deal because I really didn't know that I was preg before it was all pretty much done. I'm angry and just want to scream most of the time and then if I do begin to have a happy/fun time then I feel guilty but I am not really sure why?

What am I doing wrong or should I be doing?

The scarring caused from the ectopic is blocking most of the tube but its the only tube I have. I feel like its the end of the world and I wasn't even trying to have a baby. My firends seem to all have kids and it seems to be so much more than it ever use to be. I have always wanted kids just hasn't been the right time and I thought I had so much time left.

You all must think I am goofy? thanks for listening

 

[Wishfull]

You are not being goofy hunny. Wether you knew for a an hour a day or a week. You knew about your baby. And sadly you lost your little one. Losing a baby really does mess with your head. Its brings out so many different emotions and thoughts. It is very hard but dont be too hard on yourself. It wasnt your falt sweetie. It changes your out look on life. And if you want to scream then do it. Keeping every thing bottled up is no good. But it can be very hard if no-one around you understands. But when ever your feeling down come on here. Everyone will listen on here.

Maybe for the future if you wanted to try you could speak to your doc about your options and worry's about ttc.

Take care sweetie

 

[rabbit]

its going to be hard but dont be hard on yourself. you're still allowed to have fun and enjoy yourself, I know it may sound a bit harsh but there is no point dwelling on it......... i know thats easier said than done though.

I had an ectopic pregnancy which was dissolved with methotrexate, Now i'm back to trying i am always worrying 'what if it happens again', but at the end of the day its something we have no control over, so in my eyes worrying wont help but you should cope with it however you see fit, everyone is different x x

 

[Rebaby]

I'm so sorry for your loss Please don't be so hard on yourself, no matter how long you knew about your pregnancy beforehand it is still an awful and traumatic thing to go through.

I think a lot of us who have experienced losses find it hard to be around people who have young children and feel angry, and jealous etc. I know just after my mc seeing people out shopping with young babies really tore me up, and i am not that kind of person normally, i felt like not only was my body working against me but my mind too

I wish there was more i could say or do to help, i just wanted to let you know i'm sorry and you're not alone

 

[rabbit]

have a look on the thread 'anyone here wtt after an ectopic'.... it might help you see the brighter side, or have a rant there, or question anyone, eveyone has been through similar to what you're going through x x

 

[mazza2003]

Hi there
I feel you pain too and whether you knew or didnt it doesnt dictate how much loss you feel.
I knew for an hour before I supposedly mc, and then two weeks on it turned out to be ectopic. Everyone thinks I am not greiving properly, but I went through a kind of grieving at the MC stage and honestly feel too poorly physically to let go emotionally again.
There is no right or wrong and you are entitled to feel angry.
There is nothing in life so cruel as to have options taken from you.
For what its worth I was told I would get bumped up the IVF queue if I cant conceive within 6mths. This has its issues too, but all is not lost. You need to believe that if you want kids there are other options.... try to focus on these. Its the only thing that is giving me comfort just now. Please keep your chin up and if I can do anything please let me know.
Everyone here has been so good to me and that also is a great comfort. XXX

 

[Daisydo]

just wanted to say im very sorry to hear the way you are feeling ..things will get better with time

 

[woldkelk]

How long did you stay away from everything?? (work, school, people in general?)

I went back to work on Monday four days after everything happened. I just feel like I should be back in the swing of things by now and I feel so bad for my Boyfriend. My moods are like the wind and he's been so good to me about everything.

Thank you to anyone that has any suggestions I am willing to try anything right now. I wish this could all just go away

 

[rabbit]

How are you feeiling petal? x x

 

[gnomette]

i had an ectopic in september and i found out i was preg 2 weeks befor i had my surgery after my surgery turned out bean had been there for alot longer than i had known she was there! she was 7cm big they cant tell me how long but i went through the same thing thinking that i was my fault why did i not know she had been there i am her mother i am supposed to look after her but it did pass i didnt see any one apart from my son (i honestly know how lucky i am) an oh for nearly 3 weeks!! i couldnt bare it!! i had a private service for my little one now she is at home with me! it helped me! but even though i didnt know she was there doesnt mean i loved her any less!! its ok to feel how you do it will pass you will be ok an you will go on an live your life just when you are ready! no need to hurry!!
take care love