i feel like a horrible person i hated my sister in law today :(

[Lenny]

i got a text today telling me OH little sister was pregnant they are all so happy about it but i ran from the room crying when i read it i couldnt believe my reaction i couldnt believe she was pregnant i was crushed i wanted to shout and scream how it was soo unfair shes 18 and still living at home it wasnt planned we have our own house and have been trying since january i now no 5 ppl pregnant at the same time and someone who just gave birth yesterday ive never known so many ppl pregnant at the same time in my life, its like every 2 month i get told someone new is pregnant am i being tested or something.

This is the first time ive broken down like that i see her all the time i dont want to hear her talk about it and grow a bump while iam still trying in vain i want to be happy for her but i think i need some time i feel like such a horrible person but i dont think i can face her without crying right now does that make me horrible??

 

[wantanerd]

I had the same reaction when I found out my SIL was pregnant with her third. What you are feeling is perfectly normal and I am sure most of us have felt this at least once.

 

[dncr1010p]

I know what your going thru girl! I'm in the EXACT same boat as you, its my SIL. She's 19, they just got married last weekend. She's 14 weeks pregnant and awhile ago she told my other SIL that she wanted to be pregnant. So I talked to her about it and she freaked out on me, telling me she would never want that for herself right now..well then my brother finally came out and told me she was pregnant. I couldn't talk to her, couldn't look at her, cried my eyes out for days over it, and how I hated myself for hating her over it! I was a mess. I was going to be her maid of honor and I hated her..

My brother came to me and told me how devastated she was that I hated her over this. I felt horrible but at the same time she KNEW how badly we wanted this and then she comes in and they get engaged in 2 months and then pregnant right after that..it just killed me. Finally I ended up calling her and telling her how sorry I was for hating her over something that I couldn't control.. I'm an only daughter and I feel like she is trying to act like one of my moms own daughters..I hate it. Her and her mother are not very close so she looks to my mom like its her mom. It's hard. I really want a girl..and she is going around telling everyone that she's having a girl when she doesn't even know what she's having yet.

I'm still heart broken. I have to push all those negative thoughts away because i know they won't do any good. I'm trying to stay positive it'll happen for us soon. I think once she finds out what she's having, (if its a girl) I might go into the same boat I was when I found she was pregnant..but I'm trying to slowly not let that anger arise..but its hard and its a normal reaction to us women who are ttc.

It's a very hard thing to deal with but when your time comes you'll want everyone around you to be supportaive and happy for you. Not have the same feelings you have now towards your OH little sister.

 

[Lenny]

i no i felt horrible and iam glad she didnt tell me in person but i was just so guttered i cudnt believe it.

she told me awhile ago she wanted a baby but she said she was gonna get a job save up and move out she hasnt even got a job yet. My OH thinks iam being daft but i really dont no if i can face her iam so upset about it i no i need to be supportive but i really wanna just throw myself down on the floor and scream about how its not fair lol

i hope its our turn soon we deserve our turn!! lol

 

[MurphyTaylor]

I know exactly how you feel on this!! I know at least 5 people who are pregnant or have just given birth and it seems so unfair because we have been trying for months and the majority peoples' weren't planned.

I'm also confused about something else: my OH always says he wants a baby as much as I do but he just never seems interested when I talk about it. Does anyone else's OH act like this?

 

[Lenny]

BINGO thats my life. Ive asked my OH loads of times if hes sure this is what he wants cos he doesnt seem bothered or excited he keeps saying he will be excited when iam pregnant but i suppose its not there bodys that are going through it they have nothing to watch every second of the month for signs so i suppose it must be hard for them to get as into it as us but thats just my opinion my OH hasnt comfirmed any of that for me haha

 

[MurphyTaylor]

BINGO thats my life. Ive asked my OH loads of times if hes sure this is what he wants cos he doesnt seem bothered or excited he keeps saying he will be excited when iam pregnant but i suppose its not there bodys that are going through it they have nothing to watch every second of the month for signs so i suppose it must be hard for them to get as into it as us but thats just my opinion my OH hasnt comfirmed any of that for me haha

I reckon that's the case with my OH! He just kinda smiles and nods when I talkto him about it but I reckon that when I do get me BFP he will be over the moon... only problem is is that the way he acts at the minute makes me unsure if it's a good idea. I've told him this but it doesn't change how he acts... men are frustrating!!

 

[Lenny]

i thought the same thing till last month i really was convinced i was preggo and OH wouldnt let me move he didnt say it was cos he thought i was preggo but hes never ever run after me before and the change really freaked me out lol when i found out i wasnt i was soo upset he went out and bought me a bottle of wine to cheer me up lol and we agreed to buy OPK to help me cope better hes bak to his usual self again now we'll see if he changes again when i do get my BFP which i hope is soon for the both of us hun maybe they will be over the moon.

u so have to let me no his reaction when u get yours lol

 

[MurphyTaylor]

I will definitely let you know! He'll probably be uber uber nice to me and run around after me and everything lol. At the moment all he does is symptom spot so that's a good sign at least... only problem is symptom spotting gets my hopes up! He does it out of good will though so that makes it not AS bad I suppose

 

[Lenny]

i havnt told OH about my symptoms this month not after last month iam keeping them to myself and of course u lovly ladies lol i dont want him thinking iam going crazy cos if AF turns up this month my mind is inventing so great symptoms lol

 

[trustingod]

i got a text today telling me OH little sister was pregnant they are all so happy about it but i ran from the room crying when i read it i couldnt believe my reaction i couldnt believe she was pregnant i was crushed i wanted to shout and scream how it was soo unfair shes 18 and still living at home it wasnt planned we have our own house and have been trying since january i now no 5 ppl pregnant at the same time and someone who just gave birth yesterday ive never known so many ppl pregnant at the same time in my life, its like every 2 month i get told someone new is pregnant am i being tested or something.

This is the first time ive broken down like that i see her all the time i dont want to hear her talk about it and grow a bump while iam still trying in vain i want to be happy for her but i think i need some time i feel like such a horrible person but i dont think i can face her without crying right now does that make me horrible??

dont feel bad, i felt the same wat this weekend, my little sister just had baby no. 2 nine months ago and she tells me she is expecting another one! I mean come on!!!!!! and they weren't even trying, and here i am trying for SIX years!!!!! i think i am allowed to be angry and upset and everything mean! i am also dreading seeing her with a big belly again!

 

[MurphyTaylor]

I don't blame you Lenny, I always think my OH thinks I'm crazy when I mention all these symptoms and then AF turns up! I think I've told him my symptoms this month but if AF turns up again (due in 2 days!) then I don't think I'll tell him in future because I think, deep down, he gets his hopes up too and I don't like to think of him feeling the way I do when AF turns up, I get so upset

I've kinda got my hopes up at the moment (much as I hate it lol) because I usually have some signs that AF will start by now but nothing as of yet!

 

[kgriffin]

i had the same reaction 2 nights ago. my sister in law just announced her shes having her 2nd baby, 1 day after she learnt i just had a miscarriage, only, it was on SKYPE! So my eyes welled with tears and I had to go. ughhhh

 

[MurphyTaylor]

i had the same reaction 2 nights ago. my sister in law just announced her shes having her 2nd baby, 1 day after she learnt i just had a miscarriage, only, it was on SKYPE! So my eyes welled with tears and I had to go. ughhhh

That must've been the worst feeling ever Hope you're ok now

 

[Lenny]

I don't blame you Lenny, I always think my OH thinks I'm crazy when I mention all these symptoms and then AF turns up! I think I've told him my symptoms this month but if AF turns up again (due in 2 days!) then I don't think I'll tell him in future because I think, deep down, he gets his hopes up too and I don't like to think of him feeling the way I do when AF turns up, I get so upset

I've kinda got my hopes up at the moment (much as I hate it lol) because I usually have some signs that AF will start by now but nothing as of yet!

iam hopeful this month i have only ovulated this weekend but my boobs started aching yesterday and they seem to be getting worse ive never ever had this i mean they ache a little about 2 days before AF but never this early so its very strange.

iam so glad i have you girls to talk to about all of this it hurts but its hard to picture it being normal iam so glad iam not alone

 

[MurphyTaylor]

I don't blame you Lenny, I always think my OH thinks I'm crazy when I mention all these symptoms and then AF turns up! I think I've told him my symptoms this month but if AF turns up again (due in 2 days!) then I don't think I'll tell him in future because I think, deep down, he gets his hopes up too and I don't like to think of him feeling the way I do when AF turns up, I get so upset

I've kinda got my hopes up at the moment (much as I hate it lol) because I usually have some signs that AF will start by now but nothing as of yet!

iam hopeful this month i have only ovulated this weekend but my boobs started aching yesterday and they seem to be getting worse ive never ever had this i mean they ache a little about 2 days before AF but never this early so its very strange.

iam so glad i have you girls to talk to about all of this it hurts but its hard to picture it being normal iam so glad iam not alone

I've been getting back ache more than usual this month and also keep feeling strong nauseous very suddenly which is unusual for me as well. I've had a really blocked up nose for the past week or 2 and I've learnt off here that having a cold could also be a pregnancy symptom!

And as for the ladies on here... I've been signed up for a while but only recently been on daily and speaking more to people and I am so thankful I can speak to others in the same boat as me! I think I'd have given up if I had't found this place

I pray this is our month!

 

[MurphyTaylor]

Hi!

Lenny, is it time to test yet?? Got my FX'd for you

Booked myself in with the doctor next Wednesday; still no sign of AFand now I'm getting light cramps which feel more like pressure than pain. I need to know what's going on, it's driving me crazy

x

 

[kchandler]

If it makes you feel any better, I hate my SIL all the time and she is not even pregnant.

 

[Armywife84]

Kchandler-LOL, I hate my SIL too! (But she's pregnant with her third)

Lenny- DO NOT FEEL BAD, for hating your SIL at the moment!! You can't help that your emotions are running rabid due to this struggling to conceive business! It's a nightmare!

My SIL who already has twins from her first round of Clomid (really low estrogen levels, no PCOS or endo) is unexpectedly pregnant with her third. They just moved out to Scottsdale, AZ which is a very expensive place to live, on just my BIL's serving job. So there's no way they're going to able to afford this baby unless her parents support them financially, which they're already doing. She should've been on birth control because she's NOT infertile.

I burst into tears when my DH told me, because we've been trying for 16 months now and nothing due to his low count and motility. It's just so unfair. We are stable and can afford a child!

She's actually aware of our infertility..so she knew I was going to be upset about it. I was a big girl and congratulated her. We did end up having a falling out, she said some hurtful things about me. What hit me most is she said I was talking to the wrong person about struggling to conceive. In which she has NO CLUE what it's like to truly struggle to conceive. No idea.

I'm lucky that she lives in the southwest for now, and my DH is deploying Feb so I plan on avoiding her while she's pregnant. So if I were you I would avoid her as much as you can. Out of sight, out of mind.

 

[Regalpeas]

It's a perfectly normal reaction. It's if it lingers on too long or that you never feel happy for her through out the entire pregnancy that should dig deeper into what may truly be going on with you in regards to all this.

I've gone through this...hurt...down feelings...not wanting to be bothered. 3 people close to me found out they were preggers around the same time. It made me feel like a failure. But after about a week or so I was back at it and still happy for them overall. I logged on here. I was happy for everyone especially my bnb buddies who became pregnant but for some reason these three in my personal life just hit really hard.

It will pass. You will have your moments. Keep your head up. I know it seems unfair, but everything happens in its time. Your day will come. Wishing the best for you hon!