I hate her...

[Bkrispy]

I am glad I'm not the only one who deals with that crap! I swear it's just part of journey. If you are truely infertile and not rich...

you must see an obsurd about of children come from the most undeserving people
Check
Must often hear that it's not god's will for you to have more children, and this must come from someone who has more than they can handle
check
Must know one couple who had 6 children, all boys(girls) just trying for a girl(boy)... making you wonder how the fourth fifth and sixth child will grow up feeling about themselves when they figure out they were only born in hopes that they wouldnt' be exactly what they are
check

I know there is more on the list. What'cha got?

 

[Bkrispy]

Kaychikan-
Are you from Alaska?

 

[Bkrispy]

Totally unrelated, but I have to ask, and since this is a secondary infertility section, I am assuming I am not stepping on toys.
My eight year old has been caught twice calling a kid in his after school program (he is in 3rd grade, and the school is 2-4th grade) a...
wait for it....
POOOPYHEAD
They called and lectured me on the severity of bullying and are threatening to remove him from the program (which I NEED - I don't want to pay a daycare 100 a week to have him for an hour after school 3 times a week)

Over poopyhead? I told him not to do it agaiin, and explained that we will all pay the consiquences of the actions if it doesn't stop. I can't see punishing him over something so stinkin stupid though

Is it just me or is the anti-bullying thing going to far?

 

[JViti]

no it goes too far. i understand that they want to nip it in the butt before it gets bad, but i mean they are in 3rd grade (my son is in 2nd). Kids get teased, its a part of growing up. My son gets teased for his glasses, and I teach him how to stand up for himself.

 

[SweetPotatoPi]

^^^WSS Yep, all of that. These folks are cuckoo nowadays...

 

[SweetPotatoPi]

Don't get me wrong, history has taught us that people have always been batshit but it's on a different level these past few years and it's getting worse .

 

[Bkrispy]

Thank you! I asked a group of TYPICAL parents, and they freaked out on me, like I am encouraging my child to be a bully. Everyone is so quick to judge. It's insane... so insane these days. I truly feel like parenting these days is sooo screwed up. Women like us are NEEDED BADLY for child rearing- so maybe next generation will have some decent people with skin thicker than tissue. It's ok to be sensitive, it's another to freak out over little things like that.

They think suicide is bad now? What happens when these sheltered, coddled, babied little kids find out the real world isn't so nice? Handling problems, including people being mean to y ou- is part of growing up. You HAVE to learn how to deal with it..
not that my son is a mean bully. In fact I suspect it is the opposite, or that he is having some self-esteem issues- and projecting it out. Also something that happens, and he will have to learn to love himself. You help your kids get through those things, not hide them from it all together.

 

[JViti]

OK so, I need you ladies...

I was talking with my MIL and I asked about how my SIL is doing with her pregnancy so far. She told me she has massive morning sickness (only doing happy dance cuz she had NO sickness with my nephew, and I was getting sick 30+ times a day with my son). She said that shes having a hard time not drinking coffee, but she'll drink one every so often. BUT the kicker....

She's still smoking...

Apparantly, she's having a hard time quitting. Although, she is down to 1 cigarette a day. (umm, its supposed to be ZERO a day)

My problem is this...she has been "trying" to get pregnant for a year she says....if you're trying to get pregnant, the first thing you need to do is quit smoking!!! Dont TTC until you QUIT!!! You dont wait until after a BFP to quit smoking...

This pissed me off....so much....like for real?!?!?!?!

I am doing EVERYTHING right, and I cant get a BFP, but she can?? Shes a smoker, I know she had smoked pot while pregnant (she didnt know yet she was pregnant, but IMO, if your TTC, you dont smoke anything just in case!!!)

She doesnt deserve this pregnancy...Why does she get to be pregnant while doing stupid things, but I cant while doing the smart things??? What is this vendetta that the world has against me??? Against all of us ladies doing the right things??? I hate people.

 

[SweetPotatoPi]

W-T-F?! No, seriously?! I don't...I just...seriously?! I guess we should all just soak every one of our fucks in gasoline and light them on fire, go on a coke snorting, meth smoking binge. These kinds of tactics seem to work so well for others! Aaaaaaarrrrrrgggggghhhhhh!!!

Girl, you gotta detach, detach, detach. At least that's what I would do. Not my pregnancy, not my baby, not my body, "I gotta put you on SIL!" is what I'd be workin' with; at least for the time being. Good gawd people suck...

 

[JViti]

So, she was slick. She called me today from her BF's phone. I dont know his number...I picked it up cuz it was our area code. (my dad has had 2 heart attacks, so I always pick up numbers in our states area code just in case...I'm his emergency contact)

So I answered, it was her. This forced me to talk to her. She asked if she could come over "so the boys can play together." Shes good...she knows I would NEVER reject my son playing with his cousin...they are EXTREMELY close. So she is on her way over...I know its to talk...I havent spoken to her since I found out---with the exception of that phone call. No facebook, no text, nothing. I am very nervous. I may just need to pull out my old klonopin for this one. I am not a very religious person (I believe in God, but have slowly lost my faith over time due to multiple tragedies despite prayer) but Please God, give me the strength not to kill her and to finally accept that which I cannot change!! And while you're at it, impregnate me please. Amen

I'll let you ladies know how it goes. I know no matter what happens today, good, bad, or ugly, you will understand and be there for me. I love you ladies!!!

 

[CaliDreaming]

Good luck! I'm sure it will all be fine. Maybe you could take this opportunity explain to her that while you're happy for her, it's difficult for you to be around her because it reminds you of what you don't have. Hopefully she'll be understanding.

 

[SweetPotatoPi]

Hope it's going well for you guys JViti!

 

[JViti]

IDK if she was trying to come off this way, but she doesnt seem at all excited about this pregnancy. Of course we talked about it and what not, but IDK if shes acting as if shes not too excited so that I wont feel bad, or if she legitimately isnt as happy as she though she would be. SHe showed me the ultrasound picture, it dont look like a baby lol, it looks like a squirrel. As I expected, my longing for a baby is greater and she is already starting to show which doesnt make it easier. But she kept trying to hide her belly from me. She was definitely sensitive to my feelings so I have to give her credit for that. All in all, it wasnt bad. It got a just a smidget of a bit excited. Of course, I wont be as excited for her until I either get my BFP or at least be taking steps in the right direction instead of sitting here on my ass hoping and longing for my baby to just happen. THanks Ladies...

I really dont know where I would be emotionally if it werent for you guys. I mean, at 26 yrs old, its hard to find people who you can relate to. All my friends are still finding husbands and what not. I dont know ANY 26 yr olds who are having these type of issues, or well, anyone of any age for that matter. I love you guys!!! And I cant wait until we can all share our BFP stories. The best part is that I know that if even 1 of us has a BFP, we will all be happy for eachother. Mainly because we are all fighting the same battle and one BFP is hope for another!!

 

[SweetPotatoPi]

Awesome! I'm so glad things went well!

 

[CaliDreaming]

So glad it went well!

 

[Hope.]

My 3 brothers and my husbands brother got married within a year. Now all of my SILs have 4 beautiful children. Me & my husband have been trying for 2 years and nothing! They say 1/5 couples have infertility problem, I guess we are the 1/5. Honestly I never really hated them, I hated the situation. I guess because we all got married near the same time, I wish that I could be part of it . Now 2 of the babies are 1 years old already and there is no sign of me being pregnant. We went to the doctor 2 months ago. All the test came back and everything is normal. His sperm, my eggs, tubes & uterus. I have come to the point where the waiting period is killing me on the inside! The doctor has said so far that everything is normal, you will get pregnant really soon. How soon is soon for you guys? 2 years is a long time!

 

[CaliDreaming]

My 3 brothers and my husbands brother got married within a year. Now all of my SILs have 4 beautiful children. Me & my husband have been trying for 2 years and nothing! They say 1/5 couples have infertility problem, I guess we are the 1/5. Honestly I never really hated them, I hated the situation. I guess because we all got married near the same time, I wish that I could be part of it . Now 2 of the babies are 1 years old already and there is no sign of me being pregnant. We went to the doctor 2 months ago. All the test came back and everything is normal. His sperm, my eggs, tubes & uterus. I have come to the point where the waiting period is killing me on the inside! The doctor has said so far that everything is normal, you will get pregnant really soon. How soon is soon for you guys? 2 years is a long time!

Hope I agree with you, 2 years is a long time. I'm assuming you and your husband are fairly young because doctors tend to brush off young women's concerns about their fertility. If I were you, I'd go see a specialist. It's good that there's nothing obviously wrong with you. There might be a quick fix for you two.

 

[JViti]

My 3 brothers and my husbands brother got married within a year. Now all of my SILs have 4 beautiful children. Me & my husband have been trying for 2 years and nothing! They say 1/5 couples have infertility problem, I guess we are the 1/5. Honestly I never really hated them, I hated the situation. I guess because we all got married near the same time, I wish that I could be part of it . Now 2 of the babies are 1 years old already and there is no sign of me being pregnant. We went to the doctor 2 months ago. All the test came back and everything is normal. His sperm, my eggs, tubes & uterus. I have come to the point where the waiting period is killing me on the inside! The doctor has said so far that everything is normal, you will get pregnant really soon. How soon is soon for you guys? 2 years is a long time!

Hey sweetie. Infertility is a horrible thing. Even worse when no one can find a problem. I used to work with a woman who had that same problem. All her tests came back normal, and so did her husbands. They tried for 5 years and no baby. They did fertility treatments just to see if they would work and they didnt. Somehow, they came to an unusual diagnosis. The diagnosis? Incompatibility. THey had said for SOME reason, they were both fertile individuals, but for some reason, his sperm could not survive in her. I've never heard of it, but apparantly, its real. They had to do IVF in order to get pregnant. There was more to the diagnosis than that, but I cant really remember all the details, this was years ago she told me about it. She got pregnant with 1 on the first IVF try. A year later she did IVF again, and ended up with twins (miscarried at 12 weeks) and then IVFed again another year later and got twins again, and it stuck. She still doesnt understand how his sperm wasnt compatible with her body. It was really wierd. I would seek the advice of a fertility specialist, and ask about that possibility. Even though this is secondary infertility, you are more than welcome to join in our chats! It would be more uncomfortable for you when we talk about our first kids, but if your ok with hearing about them, then yes you are more than welcome!! Baby Dust to you and Good luck!!! Hope to hear a BFP from u soon!

 

[SweetPotatoPi]

Big Hope. I agree with the other ladies, going to a FS may be just what you guys need to get your sticky, healthy BFP. Lots of baby to you doll!

 

[SweetPotatoPi]

becky2224: It does certainly start to feel like the less hospitable one makes their body the more fertile they become doesn't it!