I hate her...

[JViti]

sorry I havent said anything in a few days, I've been locked in a cheap motel room getting stoned and gangbanged. I have sobered up and am ready for my next fix! Who's with me??

On a more serious note, I forgot to mention something else about my appt that my doc warned me about. Because of my PCOS, my high androgen levels, and my insulin resistance...I am at a very high miscarriage rate AND I am almost GUARANTEED to get gestational diabetes. Scary thoughts. Have any of you ladies had gestational diabetes with your previous babies? Or have been told about a high miscarry rate? I possibly miscarried my first baby when I was 17. It was not a confirmed pregnancy. I was too scared to go to the doctor. I was 2 1/2 weeks late on my period, and then I got the period from hell. It was (and still is to this day) the most painful and brutally heavy period I have ever gotten. Get ready for TMI I was passing clots bigger then quarters, I was in excrutiating pain (which I can now say compared to labor pain..it was that bad). Docs say its definitely possible I had a miscarriage but they cant be sure since it had been too long to tell. (I didnt say anything about that period until after I had my son and was going through the heavy bleeding that the after-birth has to offer).TMI OVER

But yeah, so my new doc put me on metformin er and were gunna keep upping my dose over the next 3 weeks until I am at 1500 mg. I will remain on that until I am 8 weeks pregnant, then we will keep an eye out for GD and I may have to go on insulin. (i hate needles). So yeah, it was a good appointment, but also a scary one.

**At least I'll be used to injecting myself with drugs by then **

 

[SweetPotatoPi]

**At least I'll be used to injecting myself with drugs by then **

Used to it? This is already old hat for you!

Wow, well that's a lot for you to process doll so I can see you wanting to marinate on it a spell Jenn . I've never had GD but I used to post with a woman on here who had it with all of hers IIRC. Sounds like your doc is on top of things and that's awesome . Has he mentioned any lifestyle changes you can incorporate to possibly lessen your chances of m/c and GD? Exercise, supplements, diet? I sure hope you end up defying the odds. Just breathe and take it a day at a time, that's how sanities stay goin' .

 

[JViti]

sanity? oh I lost that ages ago! lol He didnt go into too much detail with lifestyle changes, but hes keeping me on metformin. That should help a little bit, but the says there are some things you can do, but ultimately pcos patients almost have NO chance, regardless of lifestyle changes. He said tho that I will be closely monitered anyway because of IVF and PCOS so if (and when) I get GD, it will be caught nice and early. I am already going to be high risk so he expects that I will get blood sugar, and insulin test on the regular, instead on only once at 20 weeks.

I was Christmas Shopping today, and I wanted to get something for my niece/nephew to be...I couldnt. I tried a toy, I tried a blanket, I tried a onesie...I just couldnt. Then today, I went to the drug store haha and I decided to go small and grab a pack of diapers. I bawled. Right there in the store. I felt like an idiot. I ended up NOT buying them, got back in the car, and my husband is like...wth? He said I have been getting better since my SIL made her visit, but I think its been chatting with you ladies that has helped. I was a wreck before you guys...I was bawling on a daily basis, now I just get teary eyed every so often. But I feel like I pushed myself back to the beginning. She has her Christmas miracle...I dont. I'm stuck here still wishing and hoping and praying. My PCOS has given me a lil pudgy belly. She has one too...but her has a baby inside it...mine has fat and intestines...(and maybe a few bottles of vodka ) but in all seriousness...this sucks. Shes starting to post things to facebook...and it makes me mad. Cuz I wanna post things to facebook. ugh...jealousy is such a . I hate her almost as much as I hate AF. Actually...maybe more.

I WANT MY BABY...AND I WANT IT NOW!!!

Ok, so I'm off to shoot some heroin. gotta get used to those needles ya no?

 

[Napua17]

JViti, my doc said the same thing. Definate Gestational Diabietes. Whatever. My friend had it, ate healthy and had a healthy baby.

My first OB said my first was was a DEFINATE 9 pound baby because I was big at the time (220 with him) and what do you know.....I was 7 pounds 12 ounces......he was 7 pounds 11 ounces. I asked her what happened to my 9 pound baby, and she said she was sure of it and I was just lucky. WHATEVER. That crazy bitch.

Next doc I went to last year said I need to work on my weight before I had a still birth....are you kidding me?? I wont go back to her.

I have had nothing but bad luck with OBS. My second OB with my secound baby, because the first REFUSED to tell me what kind of incision she made on the inside of my womb......he "misses" my water breaking at 32 weeks. Seriously?? My son was born the day I turned 35 weeks....he could have died. I am sick of doctors telling me whats going on with my own body.

Doc at the ER when I was 21 said, not its not my appendex, kept me in the hospital, couldnt rule it out and said we will just take it out. Out of surgery he said it was perfectly healthy and we wasted surgery. I knew better then that.....and what do you know??? Lab came back, it was VERY infected. I am one of 25% of the world population that does not show infected when it is. BITE ME DOC. HOW DOES THAT CROW TASTE??

TMI, my periods always have Blood clots bigger then silver dollars, most of the time bigger. My period is worse then my 40 hours of labor.

Now, I have PCOS, Ovarys that dont ovulate and just make cysts that painfully burst....except for the left....that one got BASKET BALL size and had to be surgically removed. They took the left ovary and tube with it. I am pretty sure my first son came from the right....so I am not tooooooo worried, but just worried.

Sorry.....I must be comming of my drug and alcohal binge cuz I cant spell and wont stop talking. *lol*

 

[Napua17]

Can you ladies do me a favor, someone responded to something I posted and I am blown away at the response I got.

Can you read and tell me what I am missing?? Maybe all this gang bang and drug use is having adverse affect on my social skills.

https://babyandbump.momtastic.com/s...eriod-70-days-late-bfn-heck.html#post31002973

 

[Bkrispy]

Can you ladies do me a favor, someone responded to something I posted and I am blown away at the response I got.

Can you read and tell me what I am missing?? Maybe all this gang bang and drug use is having adverse affect on my social skills.

https://babyandbump.momtastic.com/s...eriod-70-days-late-bfn-heck.html#post31002973

People are over sensitive these days. It's rare to meet someone not quick to twist your words as insults. It's so sad

 

[Napua17]

thank you ladies, I didnt want to have to give up my sex and drugs....... *lol*

i appreciate you checking it out.

 

[JViti]

Congratulations Becky!!!!!

 

[SweetPotatoPi]

So much to do around here all the damn time so I've been passing out as soon as I stop in the evening, about 9:30ish . Or maybe I'm getting slipped a few extra somethings in my vodka bottles .

Jenn: That's fantastic that they're going to be watching you like a hawk. If you're feeling comfortable and confident in your care that could do nothing but assist in a positive experience . And don't feel any kind of way about the ups and downs of being ok sometimes then not . That's the way this craptastic ball bounces at times unfortunately. Even if he doesn't understand I hope your DH supports you. When you get your baby it's going to be oh so sweet . And FB is in fact the devil, can't stand FB . I only go there ever so often to check in with a couple of groups I belong to. I agree with becky, play with your settings, see if you can filter some, if not all, of the more upsetting posts.

becky: Woohoo! Confirmed and everythang, you're officially a preggo . So exciting! Enjoy every second doll . And I agree, being able to let off our snarky and pissy and general pissed offed-ness at the wicked curve balls life can throw at you is healthy and balanced IMO. I think feel-good PC garbage has rotted people's brains far more than drug and alcohol binging ever could, ha!

Napua: Man, you really have had terrible luck with OB's! It's definitely difficult to find a knowledgeable provider that you click with. Have you looked into Vitex for getting your periods under control? I'm so thankful that it exists, it's truly been a godsend for helping me bring my menorrhagia and dysmennorhea back from over the edge. And yeah, I think emotions just run high with folks these days, especially in TTC forums, especially-specially ones dealing with any kind of infertility. It's impossible to read tone over the interwebz, we ladies are just super sensitive! Sometimes I even put bits in my posts so people know I live in a snark-free zone .

 

[SweetPotatoPi]

I hope all of you that celebrate are enjoying your holiday lovely ladies .

 

[JViti]

I hope everyone is enjoying their holidays!!!

I smoked some extra crack for the occasion!!! Also had the most dick-a-licious party at my place!!! lol

Baby names were mentioned at in-laws Christmas party...needless to say, I left the room...bah humbug.

So to everyone...Happy Hanukkah, Merry Christmas, Joyous Kwanzaa, Happy Holidays, and for those in Canada, UK, Hong Kong, Australia, and NZ-Happy Boxing Day!!! For those in South Africa-Happy Day of Goodwill. For those in Ireland Happy St. Stephens Day/Day of the Wren!!! For those in Germany, Poland, Scandinavia, and Netherlands-Happy Second Christmas Day!!! For those in America-Happy "Post Christmas Cleanup" Day!!!

 

[Bkrispy]

Christmas was good at my house. Just me the kiddo and my husband. We had beef flavored turkey, and I took my son to The Hobbit . If I had a huge family theater tradition would end, so that is something to be greatful for.
However
TMI post from here on out.
In the middle of the movie, as we are sitting in the very back row, in the middle, I get a sudden flash of cold sweats, nausea, abdominal pain, and feel some explosive diarrhea coming up. So I grab kiddo and make my way throught he isle as fast as possible to the bathroom.
Where I find I also had pink urine. Not cool. No, it wasn't discharge- I checked several times, it was definitely my urine. I don't have a regular doctor, and in calling around I found out it will be until the end of january before anyone will see me.
So I am going to a walk in clinic tonight after work.
Pink urine and abdominal pain are gone, but I still can't help but worry. I have had a lingering feeling that something is wrong for a while, but didn't want to be made out to be a hypochondriac(sp). My husband thought I was nuts when I told him I think something was wrong just over a week ago- but these symptoms can't be ignored... ok, I could ignore them now that I'm feeling better and I have no proof it happened. I hope that I don't get made out to look like an idiot.

 

[SweetPotatoPi]

Oh wow, how scary and frustrating Bkrispy! Did you have any beets or anything with beet juice in it by chance? Juice, food, vitamins, anything? That may account for the pink urine and bowel issues. I hope you can get things figured out ASAP! Can't believe no one will see you 'til the end of January, omfg...

 

[Bkrispy]

I didn't go to the clinic. I hate doctors and decided to wait. But today I noticed I have these new tiny red specks on my legs and arms.
There aren't a ton of them, but they are there. And new.
I googled it and think they are petechiae. Tiny capillaries and vessels leaked a bit of blood. It could be nothing, or very serious. So i'm taking my lunch today for sure and going to the minute clinic at CVS. I know they will likely send me to hospital for blood tests. There goes my IVF fund.
Insurance doesn't kick in until the first.

 

[JViti]

yeah go to the minute clinic and ask if you COULD wait until the first. if they have an idea as to what it is, ask if it is something that can wait 4 days for treatment, if not, then go for blood tests, otherwise, try to wait the 4 days so u dont have to spend ur IVF money. Also, did you try to WebMD your symptoms...I know its not exactly the best thing to do, but usually when I do it, my doc says the same thing WebMD said (usually in the 1st 5 suggestions on WebMD).

 

[SweetPotatoPi]

^^^WSS Man, to have an NHS would be incredible...

 

[Napua17]

Glad you all had a great holiday!!

I have been too stoned and tired to check out our board, but glad I stoped by today!

Oh my Gosh you read my mind about the Vitex!!! I JUST came back from the store with it, liquid in capsules and 1000mg for 2. it says to take once a day, so I am trying that. I would LOVE any advice on how to take and such....you all are a wealth of knowledge.

Yes, I have had the WORST luck with doctors, but you know what?? I am too stoned/drunk to care right now....I just want to get pregnant and I dont care about the rest!! One day at a time.

Any New Years plans ladies??

 

[JViti]

well, I figured I would give you ladies a laugh today...this morning the hubby and I were doing ummm, stuff...(well I was doing stuff to him lol) and my 7 yr old walked in on us....he usually knocks...this time he didnt...and we didnt hear him...i dont think he saw anything, but...theres almost no way he didnt...and i got scared...and I bit him by accident...

But on a more infertile note...my appointment is in 20 days. Seems like its never gunna come!!! Im doing good on the metformin and im now up to 1000 mg. yayzers!!!

I was on the toys r us website trying to help my son pick out a toy, he got a gift card for Christmas. He picked out what he wanted and I bought it for him. But then, of course, my mouse just HAPPENED to SOMEHOW click on the Babys R Us Link...and then it SOMEHOW clicked itself on baby nursery's. Damn mouse...So, I have my nursery picked out. And all the toys. And all the clothes. And I made myself a registry. Am I insane? I say yes. If I have a girl, the nursery will be pink and zebra print. If its a boy, its gunna be monkeys. yeah. I am insane arent I? <----Thats not coffee....thats a special concoction I made all by myself...its a mix of "F-u-c-k infertility" and "this f u c k i n g bites"

I want my baby. And I want it now. I had another dream about it last night. This time it was a little girl. She was beautiful. She looked just like my little sister when she was a baby. She had beautiful brown hair, big blue eyes like my son, and the cutest chubby cheeks. Then I woke up...and it was all taken away from me.

So...I am having a huge New Years Bash...full of booze, sex, drugs, sex, booze, drugs, booze, sex, drugs...whos in??? party time!!! We can party like its 1985!! (Well, I wasnt born yet, but I've seen how the 80's party...sex, drugs, and booze!! I'm in!!! Maybe I'll hire a band and we can all be groupies!!!!)

I love you guys. You have all helped me cope with this shit and I will be forever grateful. You ladies are awesome!!! When I joke around like this to other people, they look at me like I have 6 heads. Some think I'm serious. But you ladies totally understand me. You understand the feelings I have, and you let me know its ok.

OK, corniness over...lets party!!

 

[SweetPotatoPi]

Glad you all had a great holiday!!

I have been too stoned and tired to check out our board, but glad I stoped by today!

Oh my Gosh you read my mind about the Vitex!!! I JUST came back from the store with it, liquid in capsules and 1000mg for 2. it says to take once a day, so I am trying that. I would LOVE any advice on how to take and such....you all are a wealth of knowledge.

Yes, I have had the WORST luck with doctors, but you know what?? I am too stoned/drunk to care right now....I just want to get pregnant and I dont care about the rest!! One day at a time.

Any New Years plans ladies??

Napua, 1,000mg is a good dose to start with . 800-1,000mg /day is about average for an effective dose. Some women need less, some more. 1,000 mg is what I'm on and it works wonderfully for me . This cycle I also did apple cider vinegar shots (1T each time, raw and organic, lots and lots of H2O to chase it ) and this has helped a great deal with the clots and pain! I've had virtually no cramps and only a few small clots . Ran two miles today too, whomp! Hoping I can say the acv helps with the flow as well. I think when I was taking progesterone the cycle before last it set me back some as I had gotten the bleeding waaaaaaay down and the clots were almost nothing. I think the epsom salt baths I've been taking help with the pain too. Here's a couple of posts I've been on talking about Vitex, hormonal imbalance, progesterone, menorrhagia, dysmenorrhea, etc.

Hormonal imbalance sucks ass!!

Let me know what's on your mind and I'll see if I have any suggestions!

Hmm, NYE. The responsible thing to do would be stay in, watch a few fireworks, then go to . So of course I've got my mirrors, dollar bills, and vodka bong ready to go . If I run outta all that (and come on, who's gonna wait around for friggin' Tuesday to be reckless?!) I'll just cook a pizza and watch American Horror Story .

well, I figured I would give you ladies a laugh today...this morning the hubby and I were doing ummm, stuff...(well I was doing stuff to him lol) and my 7 yr old walked in on us....he usually knocks...this time he didnt...and we didnt hear him...i dont think he saw anything, but...theres almost no way he didnt...and i got scared...and I bit him by accident...

But on a more infertile note...my appointment is in 20 days. Seems like its never gunna come!!! Im doing good on the metformin and im now up to 1000 mg. yayzers!!!

I was on the toys r us website trying to help my son pick out a toy, he got a gift card for Christmas. He picked out what he wanted and I bought it for him. But then, of course, my mouse just HAPPENED to SOMEHOW click on the Babys R Us Link...and then it SOMEHOW clicked itself on baby nursery's. Damn mouse...So, I have my nursery picked out. And all the toys. And all the clothes. And I made myself a registry. Am I insane? I say yes. If I have a girl, the nursery will be pink and zebra print. If its a boy, its gunna be monkeys. yeah. I am insane arent I? <----Thats not coffee....thats a special concoction I made all by myself...its a mix of "F-u-c-k infertility" and "this f u c k i n g bites"

I want my baby. And I want it now. I had another dream about it last night. This time it was a little girl. She was beautiful. She looked just like my little sister when she was a baby. She had beautiful brown hair, big blue eyes like my son, and the cutest chubby cheeks. Then I woke up...and it was all taken away from me.

So...I am having a huge New Years Bash...full of booze, sex, drugs, sex, booze, drugs, booze, sex, drugs...whos in??? party time!!! We can party like its 1985!! (Well, I wasnt born yet, but I've seen how the 80's party...sex, drugs, and booze!! I'm in!!! Maybe I'll hire a band and we can all be groupies!!!!)

I love you guys. You have all helped me cope with this shit and I will be forever grateful. You ladies are awesome!!! When I joke around like this to other people, they look at me like I have 6 heads. Some think I'm serious. But you ladies totally understand me. You understand the feelings I have, and you let me know its ok.

OK, corniness over...lets party!!

Omg, your kid's like WTF?! Better get a padlock! And woohoo! Gooooo Metformin!! And yes you're insane but not for all the baby related stuff . I can't wait to start shopping for this baby that's gotten really good at eluding me lol. Not even anywhere near born and this kid is already insolent! . Dude, you weren't even born in 1985?! Fuck I'm old . Well not really but by comparison lol! I just love our little group here too . It's so, so nice to talk with other women that get this and have similar senses of humor to boot . And I like corn, fresh and candy, creamed and fried, so let's go .

New Years plans? I figured that with our current lifestyle, New Years would be pretty boring if we celebrated it the way we did back when responsibility was a factor. I'm down the sex, booze and drugs. Provided there's variety (and by variety, I mean a variety of men, a variety of booze and a variety of drugs).

Jenn - your story was hilarious. We have to lock the door when we're doing anything, because our dog can in fact open them. The first time we thought it was a fluke. The second time, we realized, "holy crap, our dog opens doors" and the third time we realized that anytime that we went to "pound town" as my husband so dearly calls it that we'd have to lock the doors. Little puppers gets a little too worried that someone is being killed and likes to join in on the action. It's a great mood killer.

If you think starting a registry is insane, realize that between eBay and yard sales I've purchased close to 300 children's books for (at the time) a child who had not yet been conceived. I love books and want to start reading to the little bean as soon as he/she can hear. My appointment is in 23 days and I'm paranoid I'm going to get there and it'll be just a sac with no baby inside and I'll be devastated. Apparently you should send me some of that cocktail so I can have the same mentality. The drink would mean not giving two shits if nothing is there right?

I love you ladies too. I get tired of being positive and hearing the same annoying quotes time after time. Sarcasm and cynicism are my style and you gals get that. I've actually told my family (and read aloud some of the posts while crying because I'm laughing so hard) about how this group has seriously helped me. It's nice to realize that I'm not the only one who hates people who announce a pregnancy. I think we should celebrate this group with handles of moonshine. Any takers?

*raises hand* I'll handle some moonshine! And I so agree, just love this group . We just got a different thing goin' here and it feels awesome. I feel right at home with you gals, my over 35 ladies I post with, and my RPL/RMC lovelies too .

I think with dealing with infertility and/or loss issues we all have that fear that the baby won't be there. I guess when you get used to it not happening, no matter how badly we want it we can't believe it when it becomes reality!

 

[Bkrispy]

Mine has walked in on me too. I know he saw-
He started laughing like it was the most hilarious thing he ever saw. Wow. What do you say to that????
New years! Having a couple friends over and we are gonna get SLOSHED, or at least I plan to.
I am not sure if it's everyone else's plan really. But I'm gonna make that Jolly Rancher Vodka that spread around pinterest a couple years ago. Been meaning to try it since, but I'm not much of a drinker. I prefer drugs. Lol
Gotta go in for blood work this week. Doc is concerned but won't say what. There was white blood cells in my urine, and I have been getting red spots on my skin that could mean I have an issue in my blood.
I did a little googling but not too much, I don't want to freak myself out. So anemia maybe. Or at least that's what I hope. Leukemia was the other word that came up, but I can't even think it.
That would be end of baby journey forever. My husband is felon so adoption is out of the question. I'd hate to fight for all these years just saving for IVF only to find out the year I get to try is the year I am out of the picture. Oh I just can't think of it at all.
Anyway, enough poor me. Seriously, cause I can't think that way. Can't wait for tomorrow night. I need it. LOL