I have Decided

[Andypanda6570]

I wont try again I am 40 and have 3 boys 20,17 and 11 and this pregnancy was a complete surprise, we thought for sure we were done. I lost the baby 3 weeks ago at 18 weeks and I am still devastated. They think it was due to Trisomy 18, but I still have to wait 2 to 3 weeks for the results.
Now my husband had testicle cancer and had 3 weeks of radiation 2 years before I got pregnant and they the doctors say that has nothing to do with it, do you think that may have had something to due with it? I don't know. Also I was on Atenlol for high blood pressure . could that have had something to due with it, or maybe my thyroid? I am so confused, could have been a bad egg? They wont tell me what it caused only that is was or was not Trisomy 18. I was switched to labaetlol but that was after i was on the atenlol for the first 10 weeks. I know trisomy 18 happens at conception, but do you think any of these things could have really contrubuted to it? I can't go through this again, I am heartbroken. Any advice is appreciated, thank you

 

[Neversaynever]

I'm so sorry that you're having to go through this it's so unfair

I don't know the answer and it's early days for you to be making decisions (I'm sure many of us have swung between wanting to try and then too scared)
I'm sure the doctor would have taken you off any medication that COULD have been a risk and I DOUBT that the cancer treatment is to blame too.

Be kind to yourself hun

XxX

 

[hollyw79]

I wont try again I am 40 and have 3 boys 20,17 and 11 and this pregnancy was a complete surprise, we thought for sure we were done. I lost the baby 3 weeks ago at 18 weeks and I am still devastated. They think it was due to Trisomy 18, but I still have to wait 2 to 3 weeks for the results.
Now my husband had testicle cancer and had 3 weeks of radiation 2 years before I got pregnant and they the doctors say that has nothing to do with it, do you think that may have had something to due with it? I don't know. Also I was on Atenlol for high blood pressure . could that have had something to due with it, or maybe my thyroid? I am so confused, could have been a bad egg? They wont tell me what it caused only that is was or was not Trisomy 18. I was switched to labaetlol but that was after i was on the atenlol for the first 10 weeks. I know trisomy 18 happens at conception, but do you think any of these things could have really contrubuted to it? I can't go through this again, I am heartbroken. Any advice is appreciated, thank you

I'm so, so sorry

I think it's impossible to really say with certainty what happened. Sadly~ people abuse drugs and have healthy babies ... but with that being said- that goes to show none of those things could have caused it, ya know? I think most of us on here have questioned "WHY!!!" I know I did @ least.. was it because I went jogging? Was it because I was on ulcer medication? Was it bc my husband has low morphology and a bad sperm got in?? You just don't know. It's a very personal decision and I can understand sort of giving up, TTC isn't as easy as it looks. I would say follow your heart my dear~ and if you DO want another child~ give it God and trust that whatever is meant to happen~ will. I read a really good book after the mc.. if you feel like reading something that may bring comfort~ it's called Heaven is For Real:

https://www.amazon.com/Heaven-Real-...6158/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1300990415&sr=8-1

 

[Andypanda6570]

thanks SO much for your replies. I just guess it was not meant to be, I just wish I could get some answers that the medication or the egg or the radiation my husband got 2 yrs before was the cause. I can't believe how much pain this is if I learned anything it is never judge anyone till you walk in their shoes .
Thanks Again

 

[Fizzio]

thanks SO much for your replies. I just guess it was not meant to be, I just wish I could get some answers that the medication or the egg or the radiation my husband got 2 yrs before was the cause. I can't believe how much pain this is if I learned anything it is never judge anyone till you walk in their shoes .
Thanks Again

I'm so sorry you are having such a tough time You will make the right decison for you and I think it's right we probably all swing from too scared to TTC again to having an overwhelming desire to have a baby. Also you are so right about the "never judge anyone til your walk in their shoes". It's a powerful lesson I have learnt through all this too. Take care x

 

[Miss_C]

Honey big big hugs - the fact that this was a surprise pregnancy ie you weren't planning it means that your docs wouldnt have known what medications etc were safe. If you do decide you want to try again then talk to your doc about what medications are safe etc.

the good news is all sperm produced are brand new, the only down side to radiation treatments I believe is that it can cause infertility ie kill of is required to produce the little blighters cos all spermies are new spermies that come out, they only live for a small window of time aprroximately 2 months from being produced to dying off, takes 10-14 days to get into the seminal vesicles and then they wait to be ejaculated. so 2 years ago those spermies are well and truly gone.

I think understanding things helps, but if things cannot be explained then we really do just have to accept that they just happened and move on or we can drive ourselves mental.