I haven't achieved enough to start trying.....

[MoopsieLove]

Hello everyone,

I am relatively new to this site (well, I have been observing for a while but have only recently started to post).

I (as many of you are too) am soooo keen to be a mother, however I just don't feel I have had enough life experience yet

I have it in my head that I can't have any little ones yet because I haven't done anything major for myself - and I don't want my kids to think when they are older 'Oh what did my Mum do before we were born? Oh, nothing'.

I have this crazy notion that before I can even begin to think about getting P, I need to accomplish something that will inspire my children.

But the biggest problem is I am stuck in this rut where I have to do something big just for people that don't even exist yet!

It has been really playing on my mind since 2 of my BF's have had their children, and I just want to know if anyone feels the same!



(Geez what an essay)

 

[candice123]

Hey and welcome to baby and bump!! I kinda know where you are coming from there, but in a way, being a mother is such a wonderful and great experience in itself, that this can be classed as your great thing. I believe that what our kids want is a mother who is attentive and realistically arent really interested whether she bugee jumped from the highest bridge, or did humanitarian work in africa- they just want you to be there for them when they need you. Sounds to me hun (if you dont mind me saying) that you feel you need to experience the world for yourself before becoming pg. A reasonable request in my book- if you read your post again, you will probrably see your amswer if you are ready for children- after all, they are about sacrifices- but in a good way. GOOD LUCK, Candice xx

 

[Iwantone!!!]

welcome to bnb firstly ,i understand what u mean but its does not not have to be major what u have achieved or even cost money we have all lived diffcuilt lives i know i have and for me my achievements has been coming out the other end and not it letting me effect me , what about compelelting school getting A-levels having a stable job and a stable relationship these are all the things that you cna pass on to your children these for me are imprortant as i can teach my child when i have one how to live life to the full and if they do good at school they can have any have anything they want in life if they work hard enough and for me tahts achievement for me dont try to stress ur self out to much about it hunni also bringing them up for have respects for there elders and being there for then s also an achivement too xxx

 

[carmen]

i understand what you mean... but if you want to ahieve something .. you should do it for yourself and not so anyone else thinks its good and this includes future children.

The reason for this, is because when children grow uo they have so much respect and realise how much their mothers have done for them that they don t care if they have travellled around australia or anything major.

i say this because my mam had me when she was 16, and went onto having three more, and i love and respect my mam so much cos she has always done everything for us, i don t think i have ever heard complaining about housework or anything. And that to me is an acievement in itself, and now she is a chilminder. So i think her big thing was to look after children cos its something she is good and obviously enjoys. And she always smiles.

So my advice to you, is if you have a burning ambition to do something then do it.. if you think oh i would love to do that before i have kids then you have to do it. But you don t have to ...

 

[Omi]

I agree with Carmen.. my mum had me at 19 and i love her dearly because ive seen her do so much not only by bringing me up bt by dealing with what life has dealt her and that includes a carreer and personal stuff.

I always wanted to be a young mum cause i had so much fun with her..unfortunately it's not happened (i just turned 38 ).. i was looking for the missing link, my fiancee, i think, lol... and yeah, ive done lots of stuff but i would have had children earlier if only the situation had presented itself.. for sure!!!

You have to do whats right for you and that is what your children will pick up on in the future..not what you havent done. If you feel you need to sample more of life, by all means, but it doesnt have to exclude having children- you need to know in your heart its right for you, sweetie..whatever you do!! xxx

 

[LankyDoodle]

I kind of wonder the same sometimes. I'm 24, been married since August 2003, happy in my relationship, financially stable, extending the house so there is plenty of space, good in laws, support etc. We are going to TTC this Dec/Jan after having my coil removed, but then I get thinking of what I've achieved and if I should be so selfish to bring another child into the world.

Well, this gets me listing all the things I've overcome in my life, how strong I am as a person because of them; I think I've done the A levels, degree and am now teacher training; by the time we TTC I will be a teacher. I've travelled around the UK and a bit of Europe and no law says you can't still see the world when you have a baby, but travelling has never been of great importance to me, whereas charity work and family has.

So I am going to do it. I've always, as long as I can remember, wanted to be a mummy. My OH is the sensible one and wants us to wait as I have been very ill over the last couple of years and teacher training is very hard work. So wait I will. I am quite fit as I own horses, but while I wait, I'll prime my body ready for a baby!

 

[MoopsieLove]

Hello all!

Thanks for your input everyone - have sat and thought about this and discussed with my OH.

Have also decided that I will take a nice holiday and start saving my pennies.

I have always wanted to be a mummy to someone, and we have decided to TTC in a year or two.

I am sooo excited! It feels like a fabulous countdown!! Plus now I have some time to shift a few pounds too

I'll still be on this site though - I adore reading everyone's birth stories and seeing how everyone is getting on!