rosesmummy
Well-Known Member
- Joined
- Jul 23, 2013
- Messages
- 69
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cope with my life anymore. I know I'm only young (I'm 23) but I'm sick of my life.
I have a beautiful daughter and lovely partner who works full time. I have plenty of money in the bank and grandparents who love me. so why do I feel so crap?
I feel like I'm old and since my GCSE days I've achieved nothing. Yes I've had a daughter, but I'm a pretty crap mum, and defiantly a terrible SAHM. I failed at uni, currently supposed to be doing a study at home course but I'm never getting time to do that (and now they say the course content is updating which means basically I've got to pay out if I want to continue!!). I haven't had a job in ages and no references so no one will employ me.
I'm supposed to be getting engaged but my partner never seems to ask, (A) I control all the money so its hard for him to 'surprise me' (B) I've told him I'd like him to ask for permission ( i know its silly as I've already got a baby with him but I'd like it), but he's too scared and (C) he's so obsessed with his work he never gets time.
I feel like I'm jealous of my partner he seems to be the one getting somewhere with his life and I'm stuck with a clingy screaming 15 month old all day. I have no friends, I get a break once a month from childcare as my mum has my dd (although DD's dad does help look after her when hes home). The house is always a tip, I do tidy but find it gets a mess again in 5 seconds flat and every time I try and do something DD is behind me messing it up.
I feel like lifes failure.
I dont even know why I'm writing this. I just need an outlet, I've told my partner and he says he understands and he wants to help, but how can he when he is at work 99% of the time, and when he isn't DD takes the main stage.
I just feel lost. I feel sad. I wish a was a something rather than a nothing... I'm not asking to be famous I just dont want to be one of those 'lazy SAHM's' that I feel my family and my partners family think I am.
I really want a job as I dont think I could emotionally handle being at home over winter, I've been for a couple of interviews but reality is there's younger better well trained models out there with references. chances of me getting a job is zilch.
I just dont think I can cope with my life the way it is much long, I wish I could run away from it all - the easy way out! Eh! why I'm in such a mess now
I have a beautiful daughter and lovely partner who works full time. I have plenty of money in the bank and grandparents who love me. so why do I feel so crap?
I feel like I'm old and since my GCSE days I've achieved nothing. Yes I've had a daughter, but I'm a pretty crap mum, and defiantly a terrible SAHM. I failed at uni, currently supposed to be doing a study at home course but I'm never getting time to do that (and now they say the course content is updating which means basically I've got to pay out if I want to continue!!). I haven't had a job in ages and no references so no one will employ me.
I'm supposed to be getting engaged but my partner never seems to ask, (A) I control all the money so its hard for him to 'surprise me' (B) I've told him I'd like him to ask for permission ( i know its silly as I've already got a baby with him but I'd like it), but he's too scared and (C) he's so obsessed with his work he never gets time.
I feel like I'm jealous of my partner he seems to be the one getting somewhere with his life and I'm stuck with a clingy screaming 15 month old all day. I have no friends, I get a break once a month from childcare as my mum has my dd (although DD's dad does help look after her when hes home). The house is always a tip, I do tidy but find it gets a mess again in 5 seconds flat and every time I try and do something DD is behind me messing it up.
I feel like lifes failure.
I dont even know why I'm writing this. I just need an outlet, I've told my partner and he says he understands and he wants to help, but how can he when he is at work 99% of the time, and when he isn't DD takes the main stage.
I just feel lost. I feel sad. I wish a was a something rather than a nothing... I'm not asking to be famous I just dont want to be one of those 'lazy SAHM's' that I feel my family and my partners family think I am.
I really want a job as I dont think I could emotionally handle being at home over winter, I've been for a couple of interviews but reality is there's younger better well trained models out there with references. chances of me getting a job is zilch.
I just dont think I can cope with my life the way it is much long, I wish I could run away from it all - the easy way out! Eh! why I'm in such a mess now