I just keep staring at these negative tests.. update - chemical

[Sammmantha26]

Hi everyone, so I am not ttc.. I have 4 kids already between 12 and 2, one with Autism, and I'm freaking exhausted. My husband and I had kind of a slip this month and I'm sure I was ovulating due to symptoms, and I don't actually want to be pregnant but I just keep staring at these tests as though I want to see a second line. I feel like I'm losing it lol. Can anyone relate?
I am probably still a week out from AF and I have always had my positive tests pop up late.. but I couldn't help but test anyway. I figured I'd start a thread so I don't feel so alone.
This is my Clearblue pink dye test from today and I have premom strips coming tomorrow

 

[Azasha]

Hi Dear!! As per the photo u shared, seems negative to me.. maybe too early? Try again in 2 days time dear..

Stay strong! I have a nephew who is autistic and it could be handful at times but they are a joy to have as well! Praying the outcome is as per what u hoped for dear!
Xoxo

 

[Sammmantha26]

Hi Dear!! As per the photo u shared, seems negative to me.. maybe too early? Try again in 2 days time dear..

Stay strong! I have a nephew who is autistic and it could be handful at times but they are a joy to have as well! Praying the outcome is as per what u hoped for dear!
Xoxo

Thank you so much! Yes, autism can be so hard sometimes, but my son is also so wonderful just as he is
I agree, I definitely think that test was negative. I will add more as I take them, thanks for looking and replying!

 

[Bevziibubble]

My daughter has autism and it's certainly hard at times

Good luck for your next test!

 

[Sammmantha26]

My daughter has autism and it's certainly hard at times

Good luck for your next test!

Thank you so much!

I ended up taking another test today, my test strips are actually coming tomorrow so I used the other clearblue. I have to say, these pink dye clearblues are way better than the blue ones and frer these days because I'm not seeing anything no matter how hard I search it lol, even well after the time limit. I also read that they're 10miu.

 

[Sammmantha26]

Still nothing, but no surprise.. I just can't help myself, if there's a test I'm gonna use it! Lol.
The reason I actually started testing is because I keep having that all too familiar breast cramping/tightening feeling and it's not something I experience with AF.. so anyway, I'll just keep on taking them each day until I know otherwise

Dried:

 

[mummy_smurf2b]

Sorry for the bfn, how long till af is due?

 

[Sammmantha26]

Sorry for the bfn, how long till af is due?

Thank you! I haven't really been tracking anything for a long time, I only have my last period to go off of which I remember because it started on Christmas... I usually have 30 day cycles from what I remember, so according to my period app it should start in 5 days

 

[Bevziibubble]

 

[Sammmantha26]

I'm so thankful for the support



Truth is, I'm really in no position to be pregnant. I've gained so much weight each pregnancy and haven't lost anything so my body is way plus sized and out of shape. Financially we are not set, we are pulling it off for now but certainly not in a good position.. and we are just plain exhausted.. we barely get any sleep as it is. Right now I'm listening to my 12 and 8 year old arguing about folding clothes and waiting for my advil to start working for my lack-of-sleep headache lol.



I'm not even sure why I'm obsessing over these tests, I don't even know how I will feel if they turn positive. We firmly believe that all babies are a blessing, but at the same time there is no denying that the position we are in isn't good for adding another baby. My 2 year old is just so dang cute sometimes it makes me question if I'm really done I don't think I should be basing it on cuteness

 

[Sammmantha26]

 

[Sammmantha26]

Af due in 3 days. I'm thinking I'm most likely out. Been crampy with a heavy feeling.

 

[Sammmantha26]

Still waiting on AF, been having bad cramps. Seems like I'm in for the AF of a lifetime because these are symptoms I don't usually have. No spotting yet, but I still think it's not going to happen for me.
Husband and I talked last night and he said he's so done having kids and he doesnt think we could afford another, so its for the best... I was so done too until this whole tease and now it makes me so sad, I don't know why. Been super emotional, I figure AF is to blame.


Didn't get a photo of this test till it was dry, figured it didn't matter, but I ultimately did take the photo anyway.

 

[Sammmantha26]

I am just so weirded out by my symptoms right now... I typically have a basic AF, next to no cramping, cervix gets really low, no real emotional changes. I guess it could be my brain telling my body something is up, but I am an emotional wreck.. I've been cramping for 3 days, and my cervix is still high up there, normally at this point its super low, almost poking out (thanks to having 4 babies already). I checked my cervix and there was some streaking, but even my CM is still stretchy.

AF is due in 2 days and this is all so strange. Could it be that I was so hopeful that now my body is confused?

 

[Sammmantha26]

Hello, I never updated but wanted to come back and say that I definitely got AF, and right on time too.
As posted before, we are not trying and my husband says he is done done done.. however after saying that, he, the guy that is always so careful, failed to pull out twice, and I didn't fight it lol. After the second time I grabbed some OPKs and tested to try and get an idea of where I was in my cycle, and I got these results..
Fail 1 happened on night of Jan 28
Fail 2 happened on night of Feb 3
And Feb 4 he finished on the outside, but inside iykwim?


So... I'm 35 now and I've read that chances go down, what do you all think?

 

[Jules8]

I would say there’s a chance. Feb. 3 and Feb 4 are both in the fertile window. 35 is def not too old! I’m 36 and we’re ttc #4. I know plenty of others in their mid/late 30’s and even in their 40s having babies.

 

[crazy4baby09]

I would say there is a chance too. 35 is not too old. I had my last baby at 35 and I just found out I'm pregnant and I'm 37.

 

[Sammmantha26]

Thank you both for looking and commenting! I'm trying not to get my hopes up but here I am ready to start testing at 2dpo

 

[star25]

Hi, I can completely relate
41, had already decided if wasn't pregnant from ntnp after Xmas I would likely go on the pill and accept we were finished having babies as have 4 aged 8 and under, we're exhausted too so understand how you're feeling, yet every month I've tested I've been disappointed by the negatives! I had finally accepted it wasn't a wise decision and now find myself with bfps, probably conceived around my bday, when I said if I wasn't pregnant by my birthday then that's it lol
Slightly worried,but if this pregnancy continues well we will be happy, just even more tired!
Had 20 years of infertility, 3 babies from ivf, natural pregnancy at 39 the month I was about to have a frozen embryo transfer, and now this one at 41, the month I was due to stop ntnp!

I hope you get the result you're hoping for, I'll be following and rooting for you!

 

[Sammmantha26]

Hi, I can completely relate
41, had already decided if wasn't pregnant from ntnp after Xmas I would likely go on the pill and accept we were finished having babies as have 4 aged 8 and under, we're exhausted too so understand how you're feeling, yet every month I've tested I've been disappointed by the negatives! I had finally accepted it wasn't a wise decision and now find myself with bfps, probably conceived around my bday, when I said if I wasn't pregnant by my birthday then that's it lol
Slightly worried,but if this pregnancy continues well we will be happy, just even more tired!
Had 20 years of infertility, 3 babies from ivf, natural pregnancy at 39 the month I was about to have a frozen embryo transfer, and now this one at 41, the month I was due to stop ntnp!

I hope you get the result you're hoping for, I'll be following and rooting for you!

Thank you so much! Our situations really are similar in ways.

I think that if it's meant to be it will be, especially with how it happened for you with positives as soon as you decided to close up shop lol. It's also so special after dealing with infertility and ivf for so long!

I was really lucky in the sense that all of mine were conceived quite easily with only minor hiccups. I am worried about the delivery part because our daughter came out not breathing and it was terrifying, but she is perfect now...and currently yelling loudly in the bathtub lol

My husband is worried about having more because we just moved out of state and his job right now is only entry level pay, and we racked our credit card bills up during the move.. but I know he would come around and be happy, I can't believe he chanced a pregnancy at all to be honest but I guess he heard my feelings even if he's not ready to admit it.

Everyone else will think we're nuts if we have another one and I'm not looking forward to the commentary, especially since my mom lives with us and begs us not to have more...she's been begging us since the 2nd we had together (1st has a different birth father, but hubs is still dad) the reason I don't know lol, she doesn't babysit and she thinks we're good parents, I'm sure she just worries about money and how tired we are but I feel like it should be our decision. It really does bother me that anyone else has a say, but she does pay the bills right now because of the financial transition...

I said to my husband, we only get to be parents to our small children once, and one day they will grow up and move out and have their own lives, and it will just be us. I don't want things like how many seats we have in the car or someone else's judgement of how many kids is feasible to be the deciding factors in us having babies that we get to love and raise.. cars can be changed and it should be up to the parents what is right for them and their family I'm exhausted but I'm never regretful and I love being a mommy. If 4 is right then 4 is right but if 5 happens I know they will be just as loved and welcome.

I will be following your story and your tests also! Cautious congratulations in these early days!