I just keep staring at these negative tests.. update - chemical

[star25]

Oh my goodness how scary for you with your daughters birth, so glad she is all well now they do like to worry us don't they

You have summed it all up perfectly how I feel, worried about the judgement but don't want anything like that or the practical reasons to be a decider on a new life we get to love and raise
My husband was so shocked, probably cos I kept telling him it would never happen now lol
We've just put our house on the market, as we have made a profit if we sell we want to pay our mortgage off and have no debts such as the car loan, means by husband can work part time and we can finally be a little less stress free and tired, he would be around alot more and it would be more quality time, we would take 1 day in the week when they're all at school or nursery just to ourselves to do what we wanted, then we would work 4 morning ls each and have the weekend with the kids, I was so looking forward to our weds just us lol

When will you test next? Fingers crossed for you, it sounds like deep down your husband would love another like you as he has been happy to not to be careful, I have everything crossed for you!

 

[Sammmantha26]

It really was scary, it turned out I had been leaking fluid for months, I realized it after I got to the hospital for a check because she was late and they scanned me and there was absolutely no fluid around her. They ended up inducing me and the nurse decided she didn't believe that there was no fluid and went on as normal. After hours without much progress another lady came to break my water and nothing at all came out.. long story as short as possible, they still went on as normal and she ended up passing meconium and inhaling it, but because there was no fluid for it to mix with it stuck in her lungs like tar. They kept trying to hand her to me after she was born and I kept saying no there is something wrong! They called the nicu that was right on the same floor and luckily, even though the doctor and nurses were clueless, the nicu staff was incredible and they got her breathing and she was discharged with me within 3 days. We've moved since so we won't be at the same hospital thank goodness.

That really sounds like a wonderful plan, selling the house and being able to have more time together. I bet you were looking forward to those Wednesdays, do you have to rethink the full schedule at this point or will you still have Wednesdays together just plus one?

I am trying to hold out until at least 7dpo but I won't make it, I'm too much of a poas addict lol.. I have a big box of test strips so why not! I'll probably try tomorrow like a nut and then drive myself crazy with negatives and line eye
I've still been doing OPKs and they are getting continuously lighter so I'm glad it was a very straightforward cycle and there weren't any late and confusing LH surges!

 

[star25]

Haha I agree, you use those strips, why not! I'm a nightmare, I'm going to have to order some as it's half term and don't want the eldest to realise what I'm buying in the shop lol

I hope we will still have the weds plus one haha, won't quite be the same but at least for a while they won't move, we live near the beach so I was saying to Dh imagine just sitting on the beach, not having to move, walking up to the beach bar for lunch just us, what a dream that was, came crashing done before it even started

I swear with dd2 I got my bfp 8dpo, it was ivf and I had a 5 day transfer and I definitely had a very faint line on a frer 3 days past transfer so it is possible if you start testing early you could see something soon

Sometimes bnb doesn't let me. Post and says there is a server error, I don't know why and it's driving me insane, does anyone else have this?

 

[Sammmantha26]

That sounds like such a dream! It all goes by so fast, and if that dream was attainable with an 18 month old then it is still right around the corner, just with even more love in your life and your heart than you have right now.

Sometimes I can't post if I've used certain emojis, it gives me that same error code.

So I did take a test, I should be 5dpo so it shouldn't be possible to have a line yet, and it was negative as expected! I have been using these same tests for months searching for a line and even an evap days later and I haven't had anything, so it's awfully strange that this one dried with a shadowy evaporation line


I didnt have them touch or in the same sample, actually I found the opk in the bottom of my bathroom drawer lol.. I lined it up where I can see the test lines in the same place, it's super light.


Ugh I'm not gonna lie, I'm starting to wonder if this was a big mistake. I know in my heart for me I will be happy but I'm worried about everyone else.
My husband keeps telling me "just don't be pregnant" joking and knowing damn well I have no say at this point lol, and I've been complaining to my mom about our money troubles so before I would tell her I need to make everything seem like it's smooth sailing. I told my husband I'm prepared not to tell her for months, and he said ughh just don't be pregnant okay? He's my best friend, always messing with me but I know he's worried about telling her too because of money reasons, but a new baby doesn't need to cost that much until they start contributing to the grocery bills, so as I see it we've got some time lol.. I wish they saw it that way too.

 

[Sammmantha26]

Now irl I can see it without searching, though my husband wouldn't see it so it's still not hubsvisible. I'll take another one and see if it does the same thing.
Same test now:

Using auto image adjust:

 

[Jules8]

I totally understand! I worry about the same things. We have 3 and ttc #4, but also nervous about reactions. Everyone seems way too comfortable asking when my husband is getting a vasectomy. I don’t know why people are so concerned. I know plenty of big families who live on a budget and have a smaller house who are happy. It’s not fair that we put this pressure on us to have everything perfect if we want kids. I know either way God provides and helps us adjust to accommodate our children.

PS- I’ve been using them tests and typically they don’t have an evap, but I did have 2 that looked like that.

 

[Sammmantha26]

I took another and it was negative and never changed after drying. It must just be a convincing evap because judging by calendar there is just no way, even if I ovulated on my peak opk day I'd still only be 5dpo and not even implanted yet if I am pg. Oh well, on to the next day!

 

[Sammmantha26]

I totally understand! I worry about the same things. We have 3 and ttc #4, but also nervous about reactions. Everyone seems way too comfortable asking when my husband is getting a vasectomy. I don’t know why people are so concerned. I know plenty of big families who live on a budget and have a smaller house who are happy. It’s not fair that we put this pressure on us to have everything perfect if we want kids. I know either way God provides and helps us adjust to accommodate our children.

PS- I’ve been using them tests and typically they don’t have an evap, but I did have 2 that looked like that.

Thank you! Yes! Exactly this. Everyone wants to know when the vasectomy is happening as though they're the ones raising these little humans. We are lucky now, we have a big house, it's old and needs work, but our kids are healthy and happy and fed and most importantly loved. It really shouldn't be up to anyone else, it makes me sad that almost all of my worries revolve around people's judgement of my situation and not my actual situation.
My sister once joked around asking my 12 year old what would you do if mom was pregnant again and he shrugged and he said "I really wouldn't be that surprised. I like having a big family" and something else sweet about having more love that I can't remember lol. She acted a little defeated like she expected some crazy reaction.

I hope you get your sticky bean soon!

 

[star25]

Ahh that's so lovely your son said that! I do worry about having enough time for everyone but then I know they love having each other and they're all close in age, 2 year 2 months between all and when I hear stories about dd looking out for ds at school etc it just makes me realise how lucky they are to have each other

Fingers crossed for your next tests, I did see that line, let's hope it gets darker, will you test daily now?
My husband would always joke about not being pregnant knowing full well we weren't using protection lol, in his defence I did keep saying it would never happen now and we both know we wouldn't go through the embryo transfer route again

I'm worried about telling work as only been back 9 months lol, never mind

Jules you said that perfectly about worrying about others judgement rather than our own situation, we're lucky and it might not be everyone's choice but we are the lucky ones

With my others I have been desperate to tell everyone, never waited 12 weeks apart from to go on social media but before 12 weeks I didn't mind who knew in real like, this time I don't have the urge at all which show I worry about what people think urgh

Looking forward to seeing your next tests, come on bfp!

 

[Sammmantha26]

Ahh that's so lovely your son said that! I do worry about having enough time for everyone but then I know they love having each other and they're all close in age, 2 year 2 months between all and when I hear stories about dd looking out for ds at school etc it just makes me realise how lucky they are to have each other

Fingers crossed for your next tests, I did see that line, let's hope it gets darker, will you test daily now?
My husband would always joke about not being pregnant knowing full well we weren't using protection lol, in his defence I did keep saying it would never happen now and we both know we wouldn't go through the embryo transfer route again

I'm worried about telling work as only been back 9 months lol, never mind

Jules you said that perfectly about worrying about others judgement rather than our own situation, we're lucky and it might not be everyone's choice but we are the lucky ones

With my others I have been desperate to tell everyone, never waited 12 weeks apart from to go on social media but before 12 weeks I didn't mind who knew in real like, this time I don't have the urge at all which show I worry about what people think urgh

Looking forward to seeing your next tests, come on bfp!

A 2 year 2 month age gap is great! I wish we had done better with our age gaps lol, but I had my oldest before we got together and we had his brother 4 years later.. then we had the next brother about 15 months later.. and then our girl was about 4 years later, so we're all over the place lol. 4 years, 15 months, 4 years and if this one happens, 2.5 years later. I know it's too early to think this way but I'd hope it's a girl like my youngest ... healthy of course comes first, but I think that goes saying.

I agree, I have always excitedly told everyone right away but this time am so not looking forward to telling anyone.... I really can't think of anyone I want to tell at all. I feel like they're going to think omg they are never gonna stop are they! Lol. If only we didn't care what other people think but it's so ingrained, it's hard not to. I'd like to say I don't care at all, it sounds so liberating. We really are the lucky ones though, lucky because we are doing things the way we want to. I don't judge if people want 1 or 2 kids, or even no kids.. I wish I didn't feel like a sideshow attraction for having 5 lol.

I dipped 2 tests in the same sample today so if I got that shadow line again I could see if it was on both.
5 min:

5 min edited:


Bottom 2 dried, the top is from yesterday

Edited:

 

[star25]

I can still definitely see it, let's hope it gets darker

You have lovely age gaps too, 15 months must have been hard, superwoman!

 

[Jules8]

Praying those get darker and aren’t evaps. I swear all the tests play games these days. lol
I think it’s totally ok to think about what it would look like and hope for certain things, even if it only a what if.
I wish I didn’t have that care either. I think being excited and positive right off the bat helps fend off the negativity. I have a friend who has 5 boys under the age of 9! She never skipped a beat with announcing and celebrating. I‘m just not one of those people and guard my heart. I got pregnant with my 3rd at the height of covid and riots. Most people I know never even saw me pregnant and some had no clue I had a baby. I didn’t announce on social media til the end of my pregnancy either. I felt so weird about announcing all excited because I thought everyone would judge us for having a baby during that time.

 

[Sammmantha26]

I can still definitely see it, let's hope it gets darker

You have lovely age gaps too, 15 months must have been hard, superwoman!

Haha, thank you! I don't remember it being too hard having the 2 in the age range, but to be honest so much was happening that I have trouble remembering a lot of the details. If I could do it again I'd put more space between them, but because the youngest boy is nonverbal autistic they didn't bond in the same way they may have if it had been easier for them to relate and communicate. Plus my second boy was a literal terror as a toddler, he's so sweet now I don't know what happened lol

 

[Sammmantha26]

Praying those get darker and aren’t evaps. I swear all the tests play games these days. lol
I think it’s totally ok to think about what it would look like and hope for certain things, even if it only a what if.
I wish I didn’t have that care either. I think being excited and positive right off the bat helps fend off the negativity. I have a friend who has 5 boys under the age of 9! She never skipped a beat with announcing and celebrating. I‘m just not one of those people and guard my heart. I got pregnant with my 3rd at the height of covid and riots. Most people I know never even saw me pregnant and some had no clue I had a baby. I didn’t announce on social media til the end of my pregnancy either. I felt so weird about announcing all excited because I thought everyone would judge us for having a baby during that time.

I think so too, I'm always the optimistic one while my husband is more of a realist. it helps to ground me but I do end up trying to convince him of the best case scenario a lot of the time. Maybe I just need to get really excited and act like it's the best thing in in the world and nobody will have the heart to be negative!
What an experience being pregnant at that time, was it still going on when you gave birth?

 

[Sammmantha26]

Speaking of tests playing games, I bought some clearblue pink dye tests because I loved them last cycle because they didn't give me any false hope. Of course I couldn't wait until the morning, so I took this one after a super long hold and now I'm more confused than I was before I took it!

I think it looks like a typical grey evap.


Edited with auto setting:

 

[star25]

Ooh I've never used these tests but I totally see that line, I hope you have more of the same test haha
Can't wait for the next one!

 

[Sammmantha26]

Ooh I've never used these tests but I totally see that line, I hope you have more of the same test haha
Can't wait for the next one!

I bought a box of 5 thinking they'd be better and they're just awful lol. I like the clearblue pink tests with the big square window but these are so bad, the moisture just pools on the test and gets stuck so it looks like there's a line for a long time, and then it causes an evap from being stuck like that for so long.


This is from this morning, there is that wonky line that is curvy and too close to the control line, it's just from the pooled wetness, but definitely not positive yet!
I'm finally 6dpo, which honestly is the soonest I should have tried testing lol, but I can't help myself. I think up till this point everything must have been evaps, I haven't had any signs of implantation yet, so more waiting and testing I guess!

 

[Sammmantha26]

Finally made it to 7dpo! That took forever. Now is when I should have started testing lol.
I took some this morning but I don't see anything remarkable
I still don't trust these tests..but this one was taken on time:

This one was after sitting:

It looks like the line moved after sitting

This wondfo is supposed to be 10miu like the clearblue:

 

[Bevziibubble]

Finally made it to 7dpo! That took forever. Now is when I should have started testing lol.
I took some this morning but I don't see anything remarkable
I still don't trust these tests..but this one was taken on time:
View attachment 1118138
This one was after sitting:
View attachment 1118136
It looks like the line moved after sitting

This wondfo is supposed to be 10miu like the clearblue:
View attachment 1118137
View attachment 1118139

Great lines!

 

[Sammmantha26]

Great lines!

Thank you! Do you think it looks positive and not like an evap?