I know this is a personal decision

Discussion in 'TTC After A Loss' started by kiki04, Jun 1, 2011.

  1. kiki04

    kiki04 A girl can dream....

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    but I want to talk about it. I just lost my baby. My 16 yr old cousin is pg and is adamant on giving it up for adoption. I want her baby :cry: But I also want my own. My husband and I have three and if we adopted hers and got pg we would have 2 babies in less then a yr (hopefully for me, hubby isnt keen on 2 babies less than a yr apart). I really dont want her sweet baby girl to go into the system, and I have a void in my life I need to fill but I dont know if it is a good idea or if this is based on my emptiness I feel from Hadlee... opinions?>
     
  2. Ozziemum

    Ozziemum Mum of 3

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    Hi there, this is an extremely difficult one, and as you said only you can make a decsion that big.

    However I had a miscarriage at 12 weeks back in March and i know how desperate you must be feeling right now, I don't think its a good time to be making any big decisions , you need to give yourself sometime to recover before you can think clearly again, i know it might seem like your thinking straight now but its only after you have come through the dark time that you realise how low you actually were.

    My thoughts are with you, bigs hugs and I am sure you will make the right decision in the end. xxx :hugs:
     
  3. jojo23

    jojo23 mum to 1 angel baby

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    its a very big decision hun i would tread very carefully in this situation. you just dont know how your cousin will feel when she has that little baby and holds it and has time to bond
    16 is such an odd age also hun she prob doesnt know what she wants. when she feels that baby kick and everything she could realise she wants it.

    also you may have to consider that she might not want to give the baby to a family member that she would have to see from time to time that would be extremely hard for her.

    take some time to seriously think about it hun and if its still an option in a couple of months then take it from there! wishing you all the luck in the world xxxxxxxx
     
  4. pinkflamingo

    pinkflamingo Mummy to an angel x

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    Hi,
    I am very sorry for your loss. I totally agree with Ozziemum in that you are grieving over the loss of your baby and this may seem like a way to fill that gap at this moment in time, but you need to come to terms with your loss before you make any decisions on this. You need time and I would also advise not to rush any decisions on this one.
    I have suffered a loss in the last few months and know the pain you are feeling, but you really do need to deal with that and then you can move on from this chapter with a clearer state of mind.
    xx
     

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