I Need Advice Regarding Baby's Dad

[Sb86]

Thanks for the replies, ladies.

I don't know his family unfortunately. Baby's dad is not on facebook anymore and since only knowing his family name, it's near impossible for me to search for his parents.
If I knew where they lived I would write a letter but again, I know nothing.

The only thing I believe I can do now, is just to wait and see if he gets in contact with me. I don't want to hassle him and run the risk of chasing him away when he may have eventually come round to it all.
I try put myself in his position, for him it must all be so unreal - it's me who has the baby in my body, not him. I did say this, more or less, in one message to him.

I will send him a text message after my 20 week scan to tell him he has a son or daughter on the way, but I won't be in touch before that.
I don't feel I can do much else.

 

[Sb86]

I forgot to mention about his mother being a retired foster carer, which makes me believe her to be a maternal lady who would like to know her grandchild.

He told me about her fostering babies and children whilst he grew up. His father is a retired police officer as well, so I believe them to be a good family.

 

[orionfox]

Good thinking Im glad to see you arent holding him against this and realise it may be hard for him right now. Not many woman would come to realise that so soon. Im sure it does feel so unreal for him. I will keep you in my thoughts and hope that he does come around

 

[Tink_]

I think you are doing the right thing lovely. I know I'm far from the same situation but I really respect the way you have handled it for you and your little one. I hope he will try and communicate with you about the 20 week scan and see where you go from there. xx

 

[Septie]

Even men in committed relationships often have problems imagining life with a baby before it's here. For us, it's real - for them much less so, it's more of an abstract thought. And he wasn't even in a relationship with you. I wouldn't put too much pressure either way on him now, just send him periodic updates, like scan pics after the 20 week ultrasound. It was nice of him to say thanks for the pictures... Maybe he'll come around once the baby is here.

 

[MissR]

I agree with PP, you have handled this really well and in a mature way. I think your doing the right thing in only contacting him after 20 week scan. He may have processed things a little more by then and hopefully may be ready to take the next step. I really do wish you luck with it all and hope you get the outcome your looking for xx