i need to complain

Discussion in 'Pregnancy - First Trimester' started by myfirst, Dec 20, 2009.

  1. myfirst

    myfirst Well-Known Member

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    feel free to read and run, i just want to complain about whats going on with me.lol

    my job is in the toilette. i was on training pay for months now i'm on all commission. the economy sucks still so no one is buying ads from me. my pay check is lower and lower each time now. it's come to the point where i have to do the majority of my work from my house phone because i don't have enough gas to go to my accounts. i'm actually losing accounts because i don't see them every week anymore.

    i pay $200 a month for health insurance and it seems like real crappy coverage since i've became pregnant. everytime i get an ultrasound it costs me about $150 that i get billed for. i'm getting bills out the ying yang from my drs now.

    my house is a constant mess. i've been tired lately and not feeling too motivated to do much. the boyfriends kids come over 4 days a week (which i love and wish they would be here more) but they don't help out much with the messes they make. they boyfriend doesn't do too much either. i appreciate what he does do very greatly. but it seems like far and few in between.

    me and the boyfriend have always talked about getting married even though we have had a sketchy relationship. recently with the mood swings, it's been bad, but getting much better. i love him dearly and i know he feels the same about me. he has great insurance, and with my whole mess of health insurance issues coming up, i suggested getting married. he said no because i only want to get married for health insurance. that's not the case, but would really help me out. we are going to get married eventually though.

    i'm looking for another job and have applied for a bunch. i went on an interview for one and aced it. they called my personal references and my past jobs to find glowing reviews about me. i didn't get the job because my work has been in sales and i was applying for a position that didn't relate to that. they said "we are looking for someone that bests matches our needs."

    i've been depressed lately and it's frightening to me. this depression i'm in now has given my the gift of lack of motivation to do anything. all i want to do is just lay in bed all day.

    and now i'm sick! i'm all stuffed up and my throat hurts and i have no appetite. it seems like i get sinusitis every two months and here it comes again.

    like i said, just wanted to b**tch and moan about things. lol
     
  2. TigerLady

    TigerLady CaveTiger Clan Mama

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    I know what you mean about the doctor bills. I have supposedly good insurance and between my OB bills, my c-section (which was necessary), and then LO needing tummy surgery at 3 weeks old, we spent about $8000 (after insurance) on having the LO this year. :dohh: We'll be paying that off for quite a while. :sigh:

    It made me wish I lived where there was national healthcare! LOL

    TBH, if you plan to get married anyway, doing it now for insurance purposes is NOT a bad idea. Your OH should be more open to that. Good insurance is worth its weight in gold!

    Don't you think OH's kids should help out more? If they are even toddlers, but esp if they are older (5 and above) they should be made to help clean up messes THEY make. And so should your OH. MY DH doesn't help out as much as he should and I have to get on him about it. It will only be worse when LO is here! Make OH step up now.

    Good luck finding a better job! It must be hard when you are pg, too. Also, if you think you are depressed, consider talking to your doc about it and getting on meds. There are ones that are safe to stay on through your whole pregnancy.

    And you don't have to get ultrasounds unless they think something is wrong! So, as much fun as it is to see baby, maybe you should decline them unless they are absolutely needed.

    :hugs:
     
  3. myfirst

    myfirst Well-Known Member

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    well i am going to be declining them left and right now!
    the first one i got, my dr just wanted to confirm. the second one i got because i was having bad cramping and pinkish discharge. the third one i got was to check on it because the first one was too early on to see anything!
     
  4. vermeil

    vermeil Mom to 27 week wonder+DD

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    sheesh! That's awful... you guys south of us should fight for universal healthcare, then all such charges would be FREE - easily said than done I know *hugs*
     
  5. auzelia

    auzelia Well-Known Member

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    gosh! If I had to pay for healthcare over and above what I already pay from my wage packet (National insurance payments) then I know I would not be able to afford to give birth to any of my children, I could afford to raise them lol but not actually have them.

    Its crazy! you would think a country the size of America would have a nationalised health service.

    So what happens if/when you can't afford to pay? Are you just left in the "streets" to have your baby?
     
  6. moonlady12

    moonlady12 mum to 5 wonderful kids

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    what makes me mad is when people over here iam in the uk,complain about out nhs,we are lucky we can just have a baby fall sick etc and know we will be treated at no cost,i would hate it having to fork out money every month just icase i fell ill etc
     
  7. auzelia

    auzelia Well-Known Member

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    moonlady technically we do pay for it with the N.I payments, that get made even when we are on benefits.

    But yeah deffo. I have no complaints about our NHS service :D
     
  8. Jasa1911

    Jasa1911 Well-Known Member

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    I'd rather pay my NI which I hardly notice than have to pay out thousands to Doctors!
    I had open heart surgry when i was four and that cost £17000 back then, I would hate to think of the cost now!

    Myfirst, I really really feel for you! The health insurance scheme in the states is a joke!
    Its seems so unfair that some countries can offer free health care but others cant!

    as your on commision only would that mean you wont get maternity pay? If thats the case can you not see if you could find something with a stable income each month? Takes some of the stress away of having to make sales?!

    I think if it makes sense for you and your OH to tie the knot then he will come round. Its his baby too, so why cant he see that hs health insurance would help his family?
    Maybe bring it up again but in a romatic proposal over christmas no meantion of health insurance?!

    Hope you are feeling better soon! Chin up babe! xxx
     
  9. TigerLady

    TigerLady CaveTiger Clan Mama

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    I pay $335 per month for my LOs insurance, a doc visit still costs me $20 a pop plus whatever they do to him and his surgery still cost me another $4000 or so. :roll:

    There has been more than one attempt to get national healthcare here, but it doesn't go over well with the majority of the population. There are many reasons for that -- some are do to misinformation given out by lobbyists and the insurance companies, some reasons are due to taxes. We pay less taxes than countries with nationalized care. Our taxes would go up quite a bit if we had national healthcare -- something Americans hate the idea of. Plus, most Americans don't trust the gov't to handle something like healthcare -- figuring gov't mucks up so much already and they are afraid of what would happen if the gov't mucked up our healthcare!

    The problem here isn't so much the fact that it isn't nationalized as it is the way the insurance system works. It is for mega profit and is a middle man. Over the last decade, the premiums and deductibles have skyrockted - not to mention they now cherry pick people. :sigh: It is long and very complex, so I will stop. I could write essays on it! :haha:

    As for maternity pay, that is not something we get either. There is no such thing as paid maternity leave here. Not unless you happen to work for a generous company that offers it on their own. I almost never hear of that anymore. :nope:

    In America you get a maximum of 12 weeks off after a baby and that is unpaid.

    Americans have a problem with gov't messing in anything. Especially with gov't taking money from our paychecks. They also don't like "social" programs that help out those that don't have money or give money to those who aren't working. Americans are hardcore for making your own way. :roll: They are paranoid about people taking advantage of social programs.

    What my dad said to me summed what many Americans think well. I was complaining about having to have 12 weeks of no pay when I had my LO. That it was going to make things tight and I wished I lived someplace that offered longer time off and pay for it.

    He said, "Why should I pay taxes from my check for you to be able to take more time off and pay your bills while you are off? Why should I pay for you to have a kid? That is something you need to take into account and be able to afford before you decide to have a kid. I shouldn't have to pay for it with my hard earned money."

    There in lies the attitude that keeps America from having National Healthcare and better sick and maternity leave for employees!
     
  10. auzelia

    auzelia Well-Known Member

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    wow!

    That is harsh! I have worked since I was 16 and I have so far had 2 lots of paid maternity leave.

    Our maternity system is broken down in 2 ways.

    SMP (statutory maternity pay) (via the employer, but most employers get this back from the government)
    This is paid 6 weeks @ 90% of your pay that is calculated over a set period before the baby is due.
    Then 33 weeks paid @ £123.06 or 90% of your pay if your weekly wage is less than that.

    MA (maternity allowance) (paid via the government if you earn less than £95 a week or you dont qualify for SMP due to various reasons)
    This is paid either weekly or 4 weekly at a rate of £123.06 or again 90% if your weekly earning are less than that.

    Once the child is born we also get Child Benefit. This starts at £20 for the first child and £13.20 for every child after that.

    Then we also get Child tax credits which varies depending on circumstances but can be around £50 a week.
    Once you get Child tax credits you can also apply for working tax credits (some other people can apply without having a child) This is a supplement top up for your wages and varies alot between people.

    Then (lol) you can also qualify for childcare who depending again on circumstances you can get 80% of your childcare fees paid up to £150 a week (it increases for 2 or more children)

    come to think of it .... I like living in good old blighty :D
     
  11. Kelly9

    Kelly9 Well-Known Member

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    Auzelia that is very close to what Canada offers for benefits, we have the employer one but I think we get 12 months of mat leave paid. Not just 40 weeks. I don't know the details cause I won't qualify for mat pay as I am a student who is not working but I will get help paying childcare cause I am a student. We also have the canada child tax benefits and get 2 "baby bonuses" after baby is born, one is a flat 100 bucks the other is determined based on income. I really love canada's healthcare policy even though I am sure it needs to be tweeked here and there. I really feel for you tiger and all the rest of you US gals. It's not easy for you guys. I know we couldn't afford to have a baby if we lived there and my husband brings in a decent salary.
     
  12. gina8177

    gina8177 Married with 1 baby boy

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    I'm with Kelly. I feel for all of you US ladies. My parents moved to the states and they are always telling me about their health care issues, it always shocks me. I think that sometimes we take our health insurance for granted and we shouldn't. Between provincial health insurance and our private insurance the only out of pocket health care costs for us are our NT scan and our doula. And we do get 12 months of paid mat leave, paid by the gov't and sometimes supplemented by our works. I hope that one day health care improves in the US.
     
  13. auzelia

    auzelia Well-Known Member

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    I hope it improves for them as well.
    over here your employer can supplement it, and we can take 52 weeks off but the last 13 weeks atm are unpaid, though that is bound to change soon as far as I know!
     
  14. TigerLady

    TigerLady CaveTiger Clan Mama

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    Wow, you guys get paid childcare, too! I'm envious! :haha:

    There is head start here -- free for VERY low income families. You have to be at or near poverty level to qualify for that.

    Of course, I am not that low income, so we pay for our childcare with no assistance. $170 per week!

    I honestly don't know how most ppl manage to afford kids over here. We make pretty good money and are always broke, mostly from child expenses.

    LO is worth it though! :mrgreen:
     
  15. bek74

    bek74 Mum of 5

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    Hun I know what you mean about Private Health insurance, I pay $76 a week, but still get billed for blood tests, scans, even have to pay a insurance fee of $1600 to my OB to deliver the baby.
    If I went on the public system I wouldn't have to pay a cent, it is so unfair. Here we are trying to do the right thing and take the pressure off the health system only to get screwed out of more money. If I am paying $76 per week that should be it. My hospital is fully covered but nothing else, it sucks.

    I agree, if you guys plan on marrying anyway may as well just bite the bullet and do it now before bubs is born. I love my hubby, but could have lived in sin my entire life, the wedding dream was never a issue for me, i just wanted a good man and to be happy. Once we had our sons and my eldest was about to start school the following year, I didn't like writing my sons surname as one one and mine as a different surname, so hubby and I spoke about it, we took our parents and our best friends and eloped. It was wonderful, we got married on the beach, bare foot with our kids rolling around in the sand, it was perfect for us.

    As for the job hunting, it is such a terrible time of year, I really hope you find something alot better really soon, I am sorry things just seem to be crashing down around you at the moment.
    I hope things pick up after Christmas :hugs:
     
  16. auzelia

    auzelia Well-Known Member

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    what i find crazy is the fact that even after paying your monthly fee you still have costs on top of that.

    Crazy :D

    You should all move to Britain :lol:
     

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