I think i need to do CC... Can anyone help??

[lou_w34]

Ok this is probably gunna be a bit woe is me, but please bear with me...

LO has never slept through... the longest she sleeps is in 3 hour stretches (if im lucky) at night.

But recently its been every two hours, and now its every one hour. I dont no what to do anymore Im so tired i feel dizzy, i cant even carry her for more than 5 minutes without needing to sit down, i keep catching every bug going At the moment i have conjunctivitus and a sore throat (i cant take anything for them as far as im aware because im breastfeeding) And when i do try to sleep i cant, all i can think is whats the point when she is just going to wake up again in an hour. I try as hard as i can but i just cant.

I really think CC is the answer, i feel like im slowly going crazy and im only being half the mother i could potentially be... but im afraid people will judge me for leaving LO to cry, im not a bad mother, but i dont feel im a particularily good one at the moment, even playing with her shatters me out.

Im thinking of starting on monday (as thats when my dad is on nights) Can anyone please give me some advice?

I know its going to be hard... I cant bare to see her cry, i dont understand... i always come to her when she crys, i have never left her to cry and i thought this would help her become more secure, but instead it has had the opposite effect and made her wake up more for me, shes tired, im tired, what shall i do???



xxx

 

[Scooby12345]

sorry you're exhausted. Afraid i not got much advice, i believe there is a CC support thread somewhere on this site.

Do you have to feed her to get her back to sleep? (My lo is like this) Perhaps go to her but only offer her water?

 

[elmaxie]

Hi!

First offits no fun when your shattered and just arent well and crappy feeling...

We did controlled crying a month or so ago as Nathans sleep had got REALLY bad for him overnight. It started with him waking up and got to the point he needed us next to him to go off to sleep so we were in and out every few hours to settle him back to sleep. Unlike your little one he did used to sleep quite well until we moved house.

All I can say is read up on the internet about it so your sure of what to do and when....I found this site quite good if you scroll down it has a plan of attack for a 7:30 bed time but I followed it for Nathans 7pm one.

https://www.supernanny.co.uk/Advice...ms-~-when-controlled-crying-doesn't-work.aspx

I found the first few nights bad and VERY emotional as I hate to hear him cryingbut it really did get easier as the nights went on. I think we had an advantage in that he had slept before we moved so we knew he could but it just took him a few nights to realise we werent going to come running to him and give him what he wanted to go to sleep.
Now he is fabby and goes to bed at 7pm and either goes straight to sleep or sits chatting to himself then drifts off and wakes at 6am-6:30am...and its been bliss having unbroken sleep.

All I can really offer is to stick to your guns no matter how hard it is...I was hysterical in the room next doorbut it does get easier as you know they are safe and they love you so much and really at the end of the day your trying to do what is best for your baby by helping them to sleep better and also your gaining in better sleep so are more alert and energized during the days...

Hoping someone who maybe has a younger child who has been in a similar position can give you more advice but I hope it helps.



Emma.xx

 

[lou_w34]

Yes i do have to feed her to sleep, i do offer her water, but she will just spit it out and cry for the boob, ive tried every method that doesnt involve leaving her to cry, nothing has worked so far....

xx

 

[JShaw]

My little guy doesn't sleep through either. I get the most sleep when he's with me though... are you able to have him sleep beside you? Are you a light enough sleeper to co-sleep? It's so much easier to breastfeed this way as well I find. When he does wake up in the night, I just make sure he's latched and then drift back off, so I'm not usually awake more than 10 seconds or so...

 

[lou_w34]

My little guy doesn't sleep through either. I get the most sleep when he's with me though... are you able to have him sleep beside you? Are you a light enough sleeper to co-sleep? It's so much easier to breastfeed this way as well I find. When he does wake up in the night, I just make sure he's latched and then drift back off, so I'm not usually awake more than 10 seconds or so...

I have tried, but all i think is 'what the hell if i suffocate her????'

Its stops me sleeping even more!

xx

 

[tootsies]

Hi,

I am really sorry you are going through this. ewan's cousin, Olivia, is the same. She will wake up and sometimes takes 5 hrs before she will go back to bed.

Do you have sky tv? There is an episode of the baby whisperer on this week on Home + Health where she shows the pick up / put down method.

I don't want to tell you controlled crying is cruel etc, will brain damage your baby like recent news reports say, but this is perhaps a better method. Studies do suggest that babies who are left to cry it out alone may fail to develop a basic sense of trust or an understanding of themselves, and can lead to problems later on. Pick-up put-down is just as effective as CC from what I have read / researched.

Put baby down to sleep in cot / moses. When they start to cry, go in and pick them up. Don't talk, don't fuss, just pick up and gently pat them/stroke their face. As soon as they are quiet, even if still awake, put them back down. If they instantly cry, do the same again. If they last a while, leave the room each time. You will see that over 3-4 nights, the pickups will drop from 100, to 50, to 5, to 1 etc. It is best done with dad going in at first - the smell of mum and breastmilk can interfere it working.

Watch Fri, 730am Home and health, episode: Mackenzie Heartwell
Also: Fri, 6.00am, Home and health, episode James Holley.

If you dont have sky, google baby whisperer.

Good luck x

 

[lou_w34]

Hi,

I am really sorry you are going through this. ewan's cousin, Olivia, is the same. She will wake up and sometimes takes 5 hrs before she will go back to bed.

Do you have sky tv? There is an episode of the baby whisperer on this week on Home + Health where she shows the pick up / put down method.

I don't want to tell you controlled crying is cruel etc, will brain damage your baby like recent news reports say, but this is perhaps a better method. Studies do suggest that babies who are left to cry it out alone may fail to develop a basic sense of trust or an understanding of themselves, and can lead to problems later on. Pick-up put-down is just as effective as CC from what I have read / researched.

Put baby down to sleep in cot / moses. When they start to cry, go in and pick them up. Don't talk, don't fuss, just pick up and gently pat them/stroke their face. As soon as they are quiet, even if still awake, put them back down. If they instantly cry, do the same again. If they last a while, leave the room each time. You will see that over 3-4 nights, the pickups will drop from 100, to 50, to 5, to 1 etc. It is best done with dad going in at first - the smell of mum and breastmilk can interfere it working.

Watch Fri, 730am Home and health, episode: Mackenzie Heartwell
Also: Fri, 6.00am, Home and health, episode James Holley.

If you dont have sky, google baby whisperer.

Good luck x

Thankyous
This something i did not no about and i will try it

It will have to be me who does it though as i dont have a partner, when i said dad, i meant my dad as i live with my parents...

xx

 

[maybebaby3]

i was like you with my daughter.she woke up to 20 times a night and wanted the boob. after a year of slowly going crazy and not sleeping and having to go to work full time i refused to feed her at night. i did the pick up put down method and it took a bit of time but it did work. i wish i hadnt left it so long! she still didnt sleep thru all the time but it did get better and she sleeps ok now! good luck!

 

[daisydoo]

ts only a little suggestion hun but have you tried white noise? only Oliver didnt sleep for more than 2 hours a time until he was 6 months old and I was back n forth to docs too with dizziness so i know how tired you are we have a white noise machine and used this alongside putting him in his cot in his own room and we get a lot more sleep xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

 

[strawberry81]

im with lou check my thread on why cc is not reccomended also have a look here

https://www.practicingparents.com/2009/06/18/controlled-crying-other-sleep-promotion-techniques/

 

[emerald78]

Hi,

I am really sorry you are going through this. ewan's cousin, Olivia, is the same. She will wake up and sometimes takes 5 hrs before she will go back to bed.

Do you have sky tv? There is an episode of the baby whisperer on this week on Home + Health where she shows the pick up / put down method.

I don't want to tell you controlled crying is cruel etc, will brain damage your baby like recent news reports say, but this is perhaps a better method. Studies do suggest that babies who are left to cry it out alone may fail to develop a basic sense of trust or an understanding of themselves, and can lead to problems later on. Pick-up put-down is just as effective as CC from what I have read / researched.

Put baby down to sleep in cot / moses. When they start to cry, go in and pick them up. Don't talk, don't fuss, just pick up and gently pat them/stroke their face. As soon as they are quiet, even if still awake, put them back down. If they instantly cry, do the same again. If they last a while, leave the room each time. You will see that over 3-4 nights, the pickups will drop from 100, to 50, to 5, to 1 etc. It is best done with dad going in at first - the smell of mum and breastmilk can interfere it working.

Watch Fri, 730am Home and health, episode: Mackenzie Heartwell
Also: Fri, 6.00am, Home and health, episode James Holley.

If you dont have sky, google baby whisperer.

Good luck x

I can wholly recommend this. Certainly these two episodes. We have just done this as my daughter would only settle for me at night. I recorded these episodes for my bf. Even if her dummy fell out I could go upstairs pop it back in and go back down stairs. Totally time 1 min. Daddy did it and she would cry for upto 45 mins (only know the 45 mins as I went out 1 night) otherwise would cry until I went in.

Last Thursday daddy did the pick up put down method and he can now settle her as I can and the one a night feeds have stopped. He did this Thurs till Sunday.

Its hard work, a long night but totally worth it. Try this before CC as not to upset the rest of the household. As you said your dad is on nights, could your mum help? As another member said the smell of you can make this more difficult.

Of course you are not a bad mum and sometimes you must do whats right for you. Whatever way you do I hope it helps and is as painless as possible for mummy and baby.

xxx

 

[bloodbinds]

I'm really confused about reports saying CC can cause lack of trust.

Mum used CIO with me and i love and trust her completely? She's like my best friend!

I'm also pretty sure the babies can't say to us 'mummy doesn't come the minute i start crying, therefore i don't trust her anymore' - lol!

So i wouldn't put too much confidence into those reports. I used CC (and you only need to use it for less than a week to get them to start sleep through, then you hardly have to use it at all!) And Bella now sleeps through the night and she still adores me and gives me the biggest smiles. Not grudges held here methinks!

Lou, i'm e-mailing you x

 

[Cattia]

We are trying to wean Abigail off the night feeds. At the moment I am holding off feeding her until 4am, when she wakes earlier I offer her water and sit with her until she goes back to sleep.She wakes an average of three times a night and it is tiring! I think eventually we might have to go down this route too. I have a friend who agonised for months over doing CC, she was literally up every hour in the night for the first six months of her baby's life, then she did CC, and her baby cried for 13 minutes the first night, 7 the second, 5 the third and then slept through! I know that for a lot of people it is not this easy, but I don't think CC is always the wrong thing to do if the sleep problems are affecting your ability to function as a parent. I really don't want to do CC but then I don't think anyone does, you have to do something if your nights are that bad.

 

[Sam9kids]

I agree with the pick up put down method if you will struggle with crying

Good luck hun xx

 

[Kitty23]

I agree try the pick up put down method. Tracy Hogg ( baby whisperer ) books are great you can pick them up really cheaply on amazon. Like the others have said try offering her water at night. Is she feeding enough during the day? Might be a vicious circle where she isnt eating enough during the day and therefore needs to eat more at night xxx

 

[Zeri]

MY Lo is 7 months and has JUST started sleeping through - because of CIO! From 0-4 months she woke every 2 hours or so at night. It was extremely tiring but I coped with it because I knew she was young and needed to eat often. Just before I went back to work at 4 months, I tried to nudge her into sleeping longer stretches, so that I wouldn't feel as tired at work. I tried her on rice cereal and formula at night and none of those things worked - she still woke every 2 hours. At about 5 months she somehow started to sleep longer - around 4-5 hours at a time. But at 6 months when she started to teethe she was back to waking every 2 hours. I was exhausted!!! I could barely concentrate at work or on anything else in my life - all I could think about was getting sleep.

After she finished teething (6 3/4 mths) I decided to push her into sleeping 6 hour stretches by letting her cry when she woke up at 2 hour intervals, and only feeding her after a 6 hour stretch had passed (around 2 am). It sounds horrible but at nearly 7 months I knew she could technically go the whole night without a feeding. The first week we did a modified CIO- when she woke up at the 2 hour intervals, I went in immediately, gave her her pacifier, patted her for a few seconds, and whispered, "go back to sleep baby', and left the room. The second week we did full CIO - just letting her cryself-sett;e at the 2 hour interval without the pacifier. We saw a lot of improvement after that. She started to cry for shorter periods each time (from 25 min down to about 5 min) before going back to sleep. Now she hardly wakes up at all! She's gone from sleeping 2 hour stretches to sleeping 8-9 hours in one stretch! I feed her if she wakes anytime between 2-4 am, and that's it until it's time to wake up. So now instead of waking up 4 + times a night, I'm waking up only once! It's made such a difference to my sleep! I finally feel like myself again, and I can finally concentrate on other things around me, cause I'm finally getting some rest. Just wanted to share my experience. CIO definitlely worked for us - and my baby seems to love us just the same. I'm a better mother to her because I'm more rested too. I think you should give it a try.

 

[polaris]

im with lou check my thread on why cc is not reccomended also have a look here

https://www.practicingparents.com/2009/06/18/controlled-crying-other-sleep-promotion-techniques/

There is also evidence that chronic sleep deprivation has adverse affects on baby's brain development and in the long term may be associated with the development of ADHD type symptoms. You need to weigh everything up and decide what is best for you and your baby. No-one wants to do CC but I think a lot of the evidence against it is misreported as it actually relates to children who have suffered ongoing emotional deprivation and their cries being consistently ignored day and night. I am qualified in clinical psychology so I have training in interpreting conflicting research evidence, I have not had to do CC with Thomas but I would do it if it became necessary.

 

[Elski]

I really feel for you, I'm in the same boat sleep-wise. Up untl a couple of weeks ago, I was feeding every 2-3 hours. Since this hot weather, she wakes every 30-90 mins. She's gone from being able to settle herself to sleep at bedtimes, to me having to feed her to sleep and gently put her in her cot, hoping she doesn't wake. I feel like I have a newborn again and am so exhausted and miserable all the time.

While I'm not personally ready to try CC, I know it has been extremely effective for some people and they haven't looked back since. You need to do what you think is right for you and your baby Good luck with whatever you try and hope you get some sleep soon x

 

[emilyjade]

huge

i know how this feels my LO used to wake every 1.5 - 2hrs when he got older it went to 3 then 4 but i was still so shattered i ended up doing CC and it was amazing !!! the first 2 nights was awful but after that he slept through! have a word with your HV see what they can advise too, also make she your LO is hungry and waking up through hunger and if LO isnt then it should be fine xxx