I think Receptionist at my doctors talked about me privately

[fandabby]

Hi ladies

Short version of events:

I booked into see my midwife during September 2013 when I was pregnant (unfortunately we lost baby 4 weeks ago).

So anyway, I walk into the waiting room to see my sister-in-law's close friend working behind the desk. My immediate thought was 'oh bu**er I bet she will tell my brother and his wife I'm pregnant'.

Went into see midwife and immediately expressed my concern and worry. She convinced me I won't have a problem because staff are not even allowed to say who has visited the surgery never mind who to see or even why. We discussed at length before getting down to filling in the green notes. I asked her would she know who I am seeing and she said yes as she was the only one working that afternoon.

Just to put a light on my relationship with my brother and his wife:

We no longer see much of each other because of various reasons. Thier idea of people having more than 2 children rattles them they say kids are then dragged up not raised blah blah blah. How can you afford it and lots more come out. They have two boys of their own, whom do not play very well with my children or even my children's friends. I have 3 lil ones and I had a hard time verbally after my third was born and to be honest we have drifted apart because of what was said. Hurtful and it was difficult she was 6 weeks early because of my anti bodies and I got 'she made her bed she can lie in it' - that's nice isn't it!. Whenever we tried to visit at their home 9 times out of 10 we got waving hands in our face mostly from sister in law no you cant come in we too busy. You can only take so much of that then you think why am I bothering. This went over 2.5 years and hubby and I decided we wont visit anymore and we haven't. Only to drop birthday presents etc.

We don't see much of them now and prior to this I had no suggestion or guessing that we were pregnant not even with the three we have now and back then in the early days we saw them a lot.

So what took place.

Hubby came home night of 6th Sept and I told him you never guess who recently started working at surgery, X. He said oh great. I joked and said if my brother and his wife turn up tonight we know she has told them.

We got a bang on our door that night 7.30pm. We were putting our lil ones to bed. Yes it was them with their two children. They made the excuse that they dropped my birthday present around. It was my or our (we are twins) birthday the week before but I was on hols with my family. I had telephoned him earlier in the week to arrange a visit to swap pressies and he said he'd let me know but we were loosely talking either sat or sun. Normally visits are day time hours. They have never visited in the evening before! We talked and they started asking about my health (I have been poorly 3 years now and we waited for a break in my health to try again). They don't typically ask about my health. Part of my trouble is inflammation in bowel and stomach and I sometimes look 8 months pregnant - literally. Point being they never made reference I was pregnant even with belly sticking out a mile over the years I have been poorly. This night I mentioned if I kept gluten free and stayed away from inflammatory foods I am not too bad but if stray my stomach swells and gives me pain. He then sniggered and said or if you are pregnant. I ignored this comment and carried on talking. They soon left.

5th October, sister in law came knocking on our door to pass over our lil ones birthday present. Hubby said I was poorly so for them not to stay. They don't like visiting people if they think germs are lurking so great excuse plus if I did eat gluten I do get very poorly. I was in the throws of miscarriage and was pretty much sat on toilet all weekend. Evening of 6th October brother telephoned me asking how my morning sickness was and that he was convinced I was pregnant etc etc. I was furious but kept my cool. he kept pushing the idea about me being pregnant. I had to inform him I was pregnant but lost the pregnancy that very weekend. He said oh sorry and then started saying stuff like ' bit too old anyway aren't you ' and he went on and on.. I questioned him about how he knew and he said he guessed, he just knew. Yes but how we don't see you and you have never guessed before so why now, suddently you are passing comment about me being pregnant. I confronted him and asked if X told him and he said who, making out he didn't know who I was talking about. Eventually he said 'no not from her I just guessed'.

Only spoke to him twice since.

No one knew we were trying let alone pregnant, apart from my doctor, this receptionist friend of my sister in law and my midwife.

What do you think ladies, did she blab or keep her integrity and my confidentiality? Did my brother just guess?

I am not comfortable visiting the surgery now and I do since my youngest is pre school and I'm there for jabs and my eldest 6 yrs has health issues at the moment so we there for him too. I also plan to try again and what happens next time!

Would like your views on this please.

thanks very much

 

[rebeccasmurf]

I think she probably has but you have no proof so I don't think there is anything you can do? Going in there and throwing your weight around won't do any favours- she can point blank deny it and there is nothing there to prove otherwise.

Why you have even spoken to them since the event though is baffling to me. I wouldn't want them anywhere near me.

 

[sweetlullaby]

I've no idea if she has or not but I think with no proof there isn't much you can do about it especially if your brother is denying it Im sorry this is happening with your SIL and brother etc

 

[fandabby]

I think she probably has but you have no proof so I don't think there is anything you can do? Going in there and throwing your weight around won't do any favours- she can point blank deny it and there is nothing there to prove otherwise.

Why you have even spoken to them since the event though is baffling to me. I wouldn't want them anywhere near me.

Thanks for your comment.

Not sure why but I think I am still vulnerable from losing baby and although my brother and I have become distant over the years the thought of losing him too permanently freaked me out. We lost our mum when we were much younger and our father we hardly see and he lives 4-5 hours away and my eldest brother I had problems with over a business venture and that did break down our relationship but we are back to talking now. It is hard because I feel I am on my own with my husband working a lot and no mum around, dad away and eldest brother has 5 of his own so runs round like a looney and now this with my twin.

I will probably lose him anyway, I have written a complaint letter to the practice, it was really bothering me and I need to know. I also met with practice manager this week and told her what I thought, albeit circumstantial. She is having an interview with this member of staff on Monday. My brother or his wife have no idea. The practice manager asked me for my brothers contacts details to confront him and I said no, confront her first then get that information from her during the meeting. I am hoping the pressure of the meeting will see her cave and confess.

Either way looks like I need to change surgery because as you say no proof without admission from her or my brother and I can not continue going knowing she's a gossip and each time I walk through the door and see her there I hiss if you know what I mean.

Watch this space...

All will be revealed on Monday.

 

[hayz_baby]

Sorry about what happened.. Did u post about this a while ago if u don't mind me asking?
If u suspect this receptionist blabbed u need to raise it with the practice so they can investigate what happened as breach of confidentially is very serious. Altho different I work in a bank and they are very strict about this sort of thing. I know it can cost me my job so would never say anything but I have seen peoples accs in the past. I just never talk about it.

 

[fandabby]

Sorry about what happened.. Did u post about this a while ago if u don't mind me asking?
If u suspect this receptionist blabbed u need to raise it with the practice so they can investigate what happened as breach of confidentially is very serious. Altho different I work in a bank and they are very strict about this sort of thing. I know it can cost me my job so would never say anything but I have seen peoples accs in the past. I just never talk about it.

Hi, no I haven't posted about this before and yes have raised a complaint of my suspicion.

My SIL also works in bank so is fully aware of strict confidence but the timing of comments literally coincides with my first visit with MW so to me it is obvious the receptionist said to them.

I have a vision of her ringing my SIL after her shift finished saying something like 'guess what, chelle was in today with the MW'. They then jumped straight in their car and came over. They never visit at night, in fact we hardly see them at all and to ask questions about my health and then wisecrack about being pregnant, no brainer really.

Just need to prove it and that is only going to happen by her confessing when confronted or my brother or SIL slipping up and SIL won't say as she knows it's serious and won't want her close friend in trouble !

Nightmare all round ..

 

[Pandora11]

I was thinking the same, must be someone else with very similar story. Maybe they will come along and see the thread they'll be able to offer some support?

I'd be so mad too, and not feel comfortable going to the Drs for anything after that.

 

[maryp0ppins]

Yes I have a feeling she probably said something, its so unprofessional! !

I recently told my mom one of my close friends from high school was expecting her second baby and she said she had known for weeks (from work!) But obviously couldn't say anything.

 

[Pearls18]

She probably has and they're all aware what a massively serious offence it is thus will never admit it. I would be extremely tempted to go into the surgery myself and have a word with the woman, just saying she should tread very carefully if she doesn't want to lose her job, obviously there's probably not much you can do with this specific case but maybe shaking her up a bit will make her realise the seriousness of it and stop her doing it again. I also don't know how you manage to maintain a relationship with your brother, huge condolences on your loss

 

[fandabby]

She probably has and they're all aware what a massively serious offence it is thus will never admit it. I would be extremely tempted to go into the surgery myself and have a word with the woman, just saying she should tread very carefully if she doesn't want to lose her job, obviously there's probably not much you can do with this specific case but maybe shaking her up a bit will make her realise the seriousness of it and stop her doing it again. I also don't know how you manage to maintain a relationship with your brother, huge condolences on your loss

Hi, she is being interviewed by Practice Manager and a witness will be in the room on Monday. That should shake her up and I am hoping for a confession. Practice Manager also wants to talk to my brother and I refused to give her his details as for me that is doing what this friend of theirs has done to me. I told PM to ask the receptionist through the meeting and then she can phone him.

I am so convinced she did this and hope for the right outcome.

 

[Pearls18]

She probably has and they're all aware what a massively serious offence it is thus will never admit it. I would be extremely tempted to go into the surgery myself and have a word with the woman, just saying she should tread very carefully if she doesn't want to lose her job, obviously there's probably not much you can do with this specific case but maybe shaking her up a bit will make her realise the seriousness of it and stop her doing it again. I also don't know how you manage to maintain a relationship with your brother, huge condolences on your loss

Hi, she is being interviewed by Practice Manager and a witness will be in the room on Monday. That should shake her up and I am hoping for a confession. Practice Manager also wants to talk to my brother and I refused to give her his details as for me that is doing what this friend of theirs has done to me. I told PM to ask the receptionist through the meeting and then she can phone him.

I am so convinced she did this and hope for the right outcome.

Good for you!!!!! Normally people don't understand the seriousness of this so I am pleased you have brought it up officially, in the very least she will be taught a lesson and their own practices tightened, please keep us updated.

 

[fandabby]

She probably has and they're all aware what a massively serious offence it is thus will never admit it. I would be extremely tempted to go into the surgery myself and have a word with the woman, just saying she should tread very carefully if she doesn't want to lose her job, obviously there's probably not much you can do with this specific case but maybe shaking her up a bit will make her realise the seriousness of it and stop her doing it again. I also don't know how you manage to maintain a relationship with your brother, huge condolences on your loss

Hi, she is being interviewed by Practice Manager and a witness will be in the room on Monday. That should shake her up and I am hoping for a confession. Practice Manager also wants to talk to my brother and I refused to give her his details as for me that is doing what this friend of theirs has done to me. I told PM to ask the receptionist through the meeting and then she can phone him.

I am so convinced she did this and hope for the right outcome.

Good for you!!!!! Normally people don't understand the seriousness of this so I am pleased you have brought it up officially, in the very least she will be taught a lesson and their own practices tightened, please keep us updated.

Thanks. I have been stressing over it so has to be the right thing to do for me.

Will let you know outcome.

 

[Pearls18]

She probably has and they're all aware what a massively serious offence it is thus will never admit it. I would be extremely tempted to go into the surgery myself and have a word with the woman, just saying she should tread very carefully if she doesn't want to lose her job, obviously there's probably not much you can do with this specific case but maybe shaking her up a bit will make her realise the seriousness of it and stop her doing it again. I also don't know how you manage to maintain a relationship with your brother, huge condolences on your loss

Hi, she is being interviewed by Practice Manager and a witness will be in the room on Monday. That should shake her up and I am hoping for a confession. Practice Manager also wants to talk to my brother and I refused to give her his details as for me that is doing what this friend of theirs has done to me. I told PM to ask the receptionist through the meeting and then she can phone him.

I am so convinced she did this and hope for the right outcome.

Good for you!!!!! Normally people don't understand the seriousness of this so I am pleased you have brought it up officially, in the very least she will be taught a lesson and their own practices tightened, please keep us updated.

Thanks. I have been stressing over it so has to be the right thing to do for me.

Will let you know outcome.

I would do the same in a heart beat, my first response was only restrained because of experience of similar threads on here.

 

[Baby France]

I'm glad you reported too!!

From what you have said, I would say that she's probably done a 'don't say anything, but....'

I hope she learns a lesson either way.



My sister works for the hospital and had to book my scan in for my second baby. None of the family knew. She never once told me during the 'wait' or anything. She told me afterwards that she knew.

She also knew when my best friend was pregnant (I knew) but she never mentioned it until after I told her she was.

 

[hayz_baby]

I'm also glad it's reported as hopefully it will scare her enough never to do that again if they can't prove anything.
The reason why I asked if u had posted this previously was because there was a post a couple of months back where the person had a very similar issue to you, a receptionist blabbed to a family member about pregnancy! Seems silly that so many people out there would risk their jobs like that for gossip! X

 

[weewdy]

I also think she has let slip. Hopefully she will admit it and apologise.

 

[fandabby]

Yes I am hoping for an admission and an apology. This whole thing has been weighing on me and we lost the baby so whilst my brother is giving it large amounts of your pregnant your pregnant etc I was having my MC.

I will keep you posted, she will be questioned tomorrow.....

Thanks ladies.

 

[Loobs]

So sorry for your loss

You absolutely done the right thing by reporting this officially, I can't believe she would be so silly to do that. It's just too much of a coincidence that your brother and his wife came over that night etc. We all know how observant men are - I don't think my brother would "know" if I was pregnant. She should face serious repercussions for this, confidentiality is a massive issue when you have access to peoples records etc.

X

 

[hayz_baby]

Any update? X

 

[shelx]

Im interested to see the update. If she has talked about you to your relatives she should be sacked on the spot due to confidentiality etc. My job position is the same as hers and i know for a fact i would be. Hope you got some answers today and sorry for your loss xx