I want to Complain

[JJay]

This is just so rubbish


I'm sat here with morning sickness and a baby bump and I just want it to be over with. They won't d&c until next week after a rescan on Monday (like I want to see it all again) so there is nothing I can do but wait with my pregnant body and no baby.


They said it may start naturally in the meantime in which case I should be prepared for a lot of blood and a lot of pain. Great.


I am dreading someone asking me if I'm pregnant (I look it).


And it's also rubbish having to put the heating on in June.


Complain over.

 

[NavyLadybug]

I understand that pain my dear We recently suffered a MMC (Missed Miscarriage) but they will not preform a D&C on me as it has "began" already with some spotting. The only way they will preform one is if I develop a fever, my levels don't drop correctly or I begin to hemorrhage blood. They told me to be prepared for it to last up to 8 weeks, even though the average is about 2.

 

[JJay]

Sorry Navyladybug that's awful, I hope it passes quickly for you. I have felt crampy all day and a bit like I do the day before AF starts so I wonder if something is starting to happen. From what you've said that's not a good thing as if I start to bleed they might not let me go for a d&c anymore

 

[NavyLadybug]

I'm in the US, you're in the UK so that may not be the case for you. And really, thats not even always the case here in the US. My husband is Military and so I have to see a Military Dr and they are notoriously stubborn (in my experience) for doing as little as possible when its not an emergency.

 

[JJay]

How are you doing? Has the bleeding got heavier?

I am still feeling crampy and have bad backache. 9+3 today and baby stopped developing at 6+2 but no spotting at all yet. I can't decide if I want things to start or hope that they don't so I can just have the d&c next week.

Thinking of you xxx

 

[NavyLadybug]

I'm doing ok as I can. I would be 8+5 today but my baby only developed to 5+4. Since it was so early, its mainly bleeding much like a heavy period but with lots of large clots (some roughly the size of my fist) but my cramping is minimum. Everyone is different :/

 

[mummy3ds]

Sending you big hugs, I have had 3 mmc, 2 d&c and 1 natural in the week between scan and rescan, this one I hemorrhaged with and almost died......please please please if you bleed heavily go to a&e I was extremely peed off with the system the 2nd time as I just wanted it to be over but protocol says you have to be rescaned to check for growth even though I knew my dates were spot on and that there was no hope, due to my hemorrhage I felt I had been given no "Choice" something they bang on about the whole time you are pregnant, I was told that it was because I was basically asking a surgeon to preform an operation when the baby could be ok,I argued that I could have gone to the dc and asked for a termination up to 22 weeks on a healthy baby yet I couldnt choose to do this. the long and the short is I wrote to the health minister and got a reply which basically just spouted the protocol which I already knew!!!
I urge you to also write just so at some point this stupid protocol can be changed xxxx

 

[JJay]

Thanks mummy3ds and sorry for your losses. I am scared about it starting naturally so will def head to hospital if it is bad. This waiting bit is horrible, I did exactly the same as you and argued with them but all they agreed to do was reduce the time between scans to 1 week - they had originally wanted to wait two. I also looked into abortion but it seems it costs around £800 to do it privately and takes around a week to arrange or free but around 2 weeks on the nhs so there is no point.

I am 100% sure on my dates. I last bd in 3rd May and bfp on 15th may so it is impossible for me to be 6+2 which is what they measured at scan (I should have been 9+2). Why they can't give us something to sign to take responsibility I don't know!

 

[Wish2BMom]

hi all,

I'm so sorry you're going through this - this is my fear next week.

Well, I WAS in this boat this past Monday and went in for the D&C yesterday but they called and said they couldn't perform it b/c what they found on Monday was a live embryo - measuring 6+2 and I was 7+4, very low heart rate (58 bpm) and an enlarged yolk sac (6, not 5). So all signs point to a non-viable pregnancy and they jumped on setting up the appt.
Got there, in my johnny, took the day off, waiting to go in and got a call from my RE saying they couldn't do it if there was still a heartbeat b/c that's an abortion. So they scanned me again, heart was still beating, and released me. FUN TIMES.
They did say in RARE cases, this could turn out fine but to not really expect it. I have another scan next Monday to see what happens. Til then, I'm eating exceptionally well, starting to exercise again, and having positive hopes while assuming we won't be that rare case.

Good luck to you all - I hope this ends one way or the other as quickly as possible. Enough waiting!!

 

[JJay]

So sorry Wish2bmom - the waiting is cruel! It sounds like you have a chance though - I believe dates can be out by a weekish depending on exact ovulation and implantation. The midwife I spoke to on Monday said she had a case where the lady was insistent on her dates - she was supposed to be around 11 weeks but measured 6 and a bit. When she came back a week later she was 7+ and a heartbeat and baby went on to be fine.

I know this isn't the case for me as there is no way it can be 3 weeks out - I haven't continued to be healthy and have drowned myself in wine, smelly cheese etc for the past couple of days.

I will have everything crossed for you on Monday xxx

 

[Wish2BMom]

oh I had a bottle of wine waiting for me after yesterday's procedure, I feel ya. I hate how they are making you wait - did they say why?? is there something that's going to spring up between now and your next u/s? So unfair. Yours is taking too long, apparently mine was too quick on the trigger.

Unfortunately (or fortunately) I know exactly when everything happened b/c we did IVF. First try and I had a sneaking suspicion it would take more than one try, so we'll see. I have things to look forward to daily between now and Monday, so hopefully I can trick things into seeming they are going quicker.

enjoy your wine, smelly cheese, ice cream - whatever makes you feel slightly better. You totally deserve it.

 

[JJay]

Thank you, we both need to be kind to ourselves this week. I am talking to DH about booking a couple of nice meals out and a night away in a month or so time so I have nice things to look forward to.

So sorry you've got the sucky wait too - especially after IVF.do you know how long before you can go another cycle? X

 

[Wish2BMom]

that sounds like a great plan(s) to have! good for you!

yes - so after the D&C, I have to wait one cycle and then we can try again. So maybe August if my body cooperates and gets back on track quickly enough. We have one frozen embie that we can transfer, so I don't have to go through the whole stimming again.

 

[JJay]

I am hoping to be straight back to ttc too. Fingers crossed this is over for us both soon and we can go on to have healthy pregnancies next time around.

I know the next week is going to drag though xxx

 

[mummy3ds]

wish2bmom fxd for you that you are that little glimmer of hope xx
JJ I hope your feeling as well as you can do. DH & I were booked to go away the weekend after my d&c we still went we stayed in a fabulous hotel in stratford upon avon, went out for a delicous meal drank lots of wine and cried lots of tears for our babies and because we have decided not to try again so we are trying to get used to our little family.
I totally recommend dating your DHs both of u, it is important to pull together at times like these, we find when one of us is strong the other is needing the extra support xxx

 

[Wish2BMom]

thanks, mummy xx

JJ - I send you strength instead of dust this time around JJ. You'll do great - this whole process can completely rot at times, but we are strong women to deal with what it sends us.

 

[JJay]

Thanks Guys. DH is being very supportive and although I don't feel like going out this weekend in case anything starts we're making some plans for the coming weeks when I will hopefully feel better. Had a few stronger cramps today, not that painful but the feeling of something starting and I've lost all my pg symptoms now. Still no bleeding or spotting yet though x

 

[lilmisscaviar]

At my 8w3d u/s baby was only measuring 6w3d with no heartbeat so I kind of knew right then and there that something was wrong. This was last Wednesday. Emotionally I was in denial and couldn't grasp it but I must have subconsciously known because I walked a couple miles on Saturday to get things started to avoid having another D&C (I have already had 2 within this past year).

It worked because by Sunday night I was starting to have strong menstrual cramps. I was mildly cramping all day then about 11 PM they could be timed, like contractions. About 1 AM I began to feel very sick to my stomach. The cramping started to wrap around my mid-section, about in level with my belly button and I felt the sudden urge to poo so I went to the toilet. Instead of what I was expecting to come out, I felt a gush and looked in the toilet, seeing nothing but red blood and clots, and knew it was all over. After that the contractions eased considerably and I was able to get some sleep. Not to mention I was exhausted.

By morning the bleeding had stopped and the cramping lasted for another day, then was also gone completely. This was it for me. I didn't have the prolonged bleeding that most women do or the cramping that lasts for a week. A couple hours of contractions and about a minute of bleeding then that was it.

Emotionally though I feel gutted. I am also still having quite a bit of pregnancy symptoms still but they are going away with each passing day. I do not know if I will ttc again, having this been my third loss in a row, but if I do I'm hoping everything will go well next time and I wish the same for you, that you have a happy and healthy 9 months if you go on to conceive again

 

[JJay]

So sorry littlemisscavier it must be terrible to go through this 3 times

I have lost all pregnancy symptoms now and have had mild cramping for the past three days. I also had diarrhea in the night so not sure if that's a sign of anything.

Not had any spotting or bleeding yet though.

I so hate this waiting I wish they would have done the d&c straight away for me.

One of my friends has just had her rainbow baby after three losses in a row. A gorgeous baby girl. I hope you go on to have yours.

I think getting pregnant again will be good closure for me and I want to try again ASAP. But I guess it's easy to say that when this is my first loss.

Xxx

 

[JJay]

Good luck today Wish2bmom x