I want to wait, apparently he doesn't...

[daniellex3]

Anybody face this?
PLEASE NO JUDGING.
..I thought I made myself pretty clear I wanted to wait till next year, but he keeps ..going inside me. And I believe last night was perfect timing (if we WERE trying) ..
Now I'm freaking out that I'm going to get pregnant
1. I'm just not ready yet
&
2. My daughter was conceived this same month 2 years ago so they would have the exact same birthday practically, just 2 years apart.

...I really just needed someone to vent to.
Someone to tell me everything is going to be okay.
Because I can't talk about this to anyone else..

 

[AP]

Totally not gonna judge here. You're not ready quite yet hence you are WTT!

You need to speak to your OH for a few reasons. You're obviously using the withdrawal method, and he isn't withdrawing. Is this because hes getting carried away or because he does want a child?

You might already know, but even if he was withdrawing there is still a chance of getting pregnant and there are more effective ways of contraception.

Birthdays aren't a big deal hun. Babies decide that, I guess it's something we have no control over.

It will be okay if this lands up as a pregnancy. You say in your signature you want to try in 5 months, so its not a long way to wait but i know those 5 months would give you time to prepare yourself to TTC.

 

[daniellex3]

Yes, we usually use the pull out method and it works amazing for us, never had any problems with it. His sister mentioned to me while he was deployed that he told her he did want to try when he got back. He and I talked about it when he got back and I told him I would rather wait cause I didn't feel quite ready, and I want my daughter to be a little older when we have another. And I explained to him about the birthdays being the same and he seemed to agree maybe them having the same birthday wouldn't be what we wanted.
So that being said, he knows how to pull out, its not like he got caught up in the mood, I really just think he wants another.. idk.
I will be talking to him tonight I'm just not sure how I should start off the convo.

 

[atleastthree]

Just be honest and remember it's all about the WAY we speak to them... tone of voice, facial expression... All the best!

 

[daniellex3]

Thank you ladies!

 

[tverb84]

I would just tell him that I don't want to have another child until next year. I'm sure he'll be understanding.

 

[spicyorange]

Would you be tried to use another bc method?

 

[loeylo]

I'm sorry if this seems blunt, but I would be really pissed off if my boyfriend finished in me when he knows that I don't want him to! In my opinion, it is no worse than women who stop taking birth control behind their partners backs etc.

 

[bakedbean]

Can't you take BC or use condoms if you do not want another baby just yet? I know you said the withdrawal method works for you but it's not a reliable method and obviously it put's you in this position of him being in control, which is not good if he's not listening to your wishes. It's nice that he want's another little one, but it affects you more than it does him!
How did your conversation go?

 

[Kess]

I agree with loeylo, I'd feel majorly disrespected if DH took my rights over the TTC decision away. It is the equivalent of poking holes in condoms or other such idiocy.

I'd, personally, not be DTD with him at all till he got his attitude sorted, but if you do I'd be using a form of contraception you can control until you're ready.

But if you are pregnant, it'll be fine. It always is , people manage with unexpected babies, they have for tens of thousands of years.

I'm not sure what the problem is with birthdays being near each other? It's fairly unlikely they'd be the exact same day, and close birthdays can be great - bigger, joint parties if they want, less jealousy, chance for large joint presents. My sister and I have 11 days between our birthdays, and it's fab.

 

[Miss406]

Yes, we usually use the pull out method and it works amazing for us, never had any problems with it. His sister mentioned to me while he was deployed that he told her he did want to try when he got back. He and I talked about it when he got back and I told him I would rather wait cause I didn't feel quite ready, and I want my daughter to be a little older when we have another. And I explained to him about the birthdays being the same and he seemed to agree maybe them having the same birthday wouldn't be what we wanted.
So that being said, he knows how to pull out, its not like he got caught up in the mood, I really just think he wants another.. idk.
I will be talking to him tonight I'm just not sure how I should start off the convo.

Pull out method is not fool proof, My first daughter is living proof of that.
If he continues to be a prat, keep going to the doctors for the morning after pill. You've clearly told him you're not ready yet and he should be respecting your wishes, not forcing you into something you don't want to do - YET.

 

[goddess25]

My first 2 were 2 years apart but a week later by the time she popped out. its fine.

Sounds like you need to be having a chat or changing your contraception if your not ready.