if you werent preg, would you give up your seat for a preg women?

[Annie77]

Why does a small child need a seat when their adult has a perfectly good lap? I always offer my seat if someone more needful of it gets on the bus. I would give up my single seat for a parent with a small child but wouldn't give up my seat for a child who could simply sit on his/her parents lap. If you take children on a bus, you should be prepared to put them on your knee - whether they are 10mths or ten years old.

 

[Babybunny1982]

I commuted on a train to work till last wk... People used to.pretend they couldn't see me... I have also been told no that shopping needs a seat more than me.. people can be disgusting!

 

[meli1981]

im so impressed about the teenager thing! im not surprised about the woman thing. when i had my mc five years ago, it happenned in a public restroom. the women, which there were alot in there pretended they didnt hear my cries for help. it was man walking by that offered to call an ambulance. it was soooo disturbing to me! btw i wouldnever ask anybody to give up a seat for me just because im preg, but the seat was empty! i just thought it was common courtesy to offer seating to people who neede it more. how often does a two year sit nicely in a chair anyway?

 

[AP]

Right I'm probably going to be an exception here, so here it goes.

Neither of my children can sit on my lap for very long. My oldest never has, she gets upset really easily so I would need that space. You'd be sitting next to a screaming child who'd throw up in the end. (she has autism too)

I'm afraid I wouldnt have given up the seat in my shoes. The lady may have had a reason.

Or she may have just been a cow , I dunno, but its good to be open minded.

 

[xdxxtx]

I was taught as a child to give up my seat to someone who looks less able to stand than I am. I give my seat up for the elderly, pregnant folks, handicap folks and small kids. And anyone else who seems unstable.

 

[meli1981]

Right I'm probably going to be an exception here, so here it goes.

Neither of my children can sit on my lap for very long. My oldest never has, she gets upset really easily so I would need that space. You'd be sitting next to a screaming child who'd throw up in the end. (she has autism too)

I'm afraid I wouldnt have given up the seat in my shoes. The lady may have had a reason.

Or she may have just been a cow , I dunno, but its good to be open minded.

but is it fair to "hold" a chair not being used, just in case you need it, when the place is packed and there are people standing all around? i just thought it was common courtsey! this lady was clearly being rude, especially since her lo seemed perfectly happy in her lap

 

[HopinAndPrayn]

I know I'm in the minority here but I don't really expect people to give up their seats for me and I'm not really sure I would have given up my seat to a pregnant woman before I got pregnant. I don't consider pregnancy a disability, I'd certainly give my seat up to an elderly or disabled person. I always viewed pregnant women as really fortunate

I've also seen kids be completely happy to be on mom's lap for a couple minutes and then lose their mind and need a seat of their own. Maybe she was just being selfish or maybe she knew her kid would need their own seat shortly.

 

[meli1981]

i appreciate the different views, but i want to make it clear i dont think preg is a disability. its just hard to get around when you get to the final weeks, and it would be nice to have seat once and awhile

 

[sue_88]

I'm in the minority too....but unless I am in a priority seat (which I don't think I've ever sat in one anyway) then no, I don't give up my seat.

Whether I change my mind in a few weeks - who knows but even being nearly 30 weeks now I have no problem standing around even if I have been on my feet all day but that's just me.

Her kid may have needed the seat at some point and automatically thinking that she is rude and doesn't have an underlying reason I think is jumping to conclusions. And she probably was a little rude if your sister chirped up at her.

 

[meli1981]

i think its only natural for family to stick up for each other right?

 

[meli1981]

also im on my fourth preg, third baby, so im carrying much bigger then i did before. i feel heavy and walking around all day IS a challenge. i also have two other kids to chase after so i do get tired. like i said the chair was not being used and i thought it was just common curtesy

 

[sue_88]

Yeah I agree that your sister has your back, but if I was using a chair (ok it wasnt in use at that particualar minute you asked about it) then got made to feel bad about it, I would be rude in retalliation.

And the lady doesn't know your circumstances, main point being like Atomic Pink really I just think we judge too much when we only have a tiny fraction of information.

 

[Hunbun]

I would give up my seat to pregnant, old and disabled. I might feel a little awkward about offering in case I got it horribly wrong and caused massive offence.

If I was on bus with my two year old, I would have sat him on my knee anyway if it was busy so someone else could have had that seat. He is still able to fit on my knee so there is no need for him to take up a seat that someone else could use.

I honestly would probably be a little miffed if someone tried to guilt me into giving them my seat, but then I would have offered it in the first place so that isn't likely to happen. I hated people offering me a seat when I was pregnant. It was so nice of them but made me feel really guilty for making them stand, when I really didn't need it.

 

[Jewel07]

Now I am pregnant myself I would 100% give up my seat for a pregnant woman. I would have before, but this is my first and now I'm pregnant myself and coming towards the end I completely sympathise with people that are pregnant and I fully understand. I think the thing is pregnancies can be so so different. Where as some women may be happy or comfortable to stand on their feet for long periods I personally am starting to find it really difficult. I personally think some can be quick to judge and base everyone's pregnancies on their own. Everyone suffers in many different ways, some are lucky and enjoy every second and have no real complaints or bugbears. Others suffer the whole way through and have a rough time. I dont see pregnacy as a disability, and i went raging inside once when my mil made that comment to me!! its just some people do find it more difficult to cope with or suffer with symptoms more or on a higher scale than others. I feel like sometimes in work people ask me how i am, i tell them the honest truth, perhaps ive been a bit sicky or my hips ad bck have been playing hell, and i feel like some give me a look and judge me as though im moaning or whatever and immediately compare to their own experiences. So whereas for whatever reason she didn't for up her seat, maybe she didn't feel it was necessary based on her own experiences, but I would have been miffed too!! Xx

 

[CordeliaJ]

I think it's appalling that she had her child on her lap and still didn't give you the seat. If there was a real problem with the child needing her own seat, I think the polite thing to do would be to say "I'm so sorry but my child needs this seat because..." such and such reason, etc. It is absolutely not ok not to give a reason when a heavily pregnant woman is standing up, she would've known it looked really rude, so it's just common courtesy to explain.

Having said that, my children will always be taught to stand for others in need, I think it promotes a terrible image to see your parent ignore someone in need like that, and it just means more people will grow up without manners, which is desperately sad.

I don't care how many women have great comfortable pregnancies and don't 'feel' anyone should stand for them, this is about manners, and the offer should always be given to anyone who could conceivably be struggling: pregnant, disabled, elderly etc. I myself have suffered terribly during my pregnancy, and after a 9 hour shift standing up, standing on the train feels like standing on knives to me. Not just that but I get hot and sick on the train, the rocking is a nightmare when standing, and more than once I've had to pull out a plastic bag, it's hell. I travel at rush hour morning and evening, and 9 times out of 10 no one will offer me their seat.

I have found actually that more women than men have offered me a seat. The worst culprit (on my journeys anyway) is a man in his 50s-60s, which seems weird. So often when I get on a train people close their eyes and pretend they're asleep, it's disgraceful. I once saw a row of 5 men sitting in priority seats, all with wedding rings on, and to be honest all I could think was "thank f*** I'm not married to them". So far I have never asked anyone for a seat because I find it too awkward, but I'm always very grateful and kind to anyone nice enough to offer (whether I take it or not). Once I was in so much pain I sat on the train floor, people clearly saw me but still didn't offer a seat. You know that in a lot of European countries it's illegal not to give your seat to a pregnant woman, and in all honesty, it makes me want to leave the UK. Manners used to be so important, now it's a rarity, makes me so sad.

 

[Super sun]

I think it should be common courtesy to at least offer a seat..... I was in radiology to be checked the other day and there were no empty seats. They were taking up by another woman who brought 4 of her friends to he US. They were all on their phones texting. The others were taken up by elderly and and a few mid aged men. It would have been very pleasant of a least one of them to ask but they just kept looking up at me and away. I got the last laugh though when my appointment got bumped up immediately cause the tech felt bad I was the only of standing. ( which is nice because I'm on bed rest and not supposed to anyways). You never know if someone is having an easy pregnancy or not... Better to do the polite thing and offer. I also hold doors for others elderly, pregnant, or not if they are right behind me.

 

[AP]

Right I'm probably going to be an exception here, so here it goes.

Neither of my children can sit on my lap for very long. My oldest never has, she gets upset really easily so I would need that space. You'd be sitting next to a screaming child who'd throw up in the end. (she has autism too)

I'm afraid I wouldnt have given up the seat in my shoes. The lady may have had a reason.

Or she may have just been a cow , I dunno, but its good to be open minded.

but is it fair to "hold" a chair not being used, just in case you need it, when the place is packed and there are people standing all around? i just thought it was common courtsey! this lady was clearly being rude, especially since her lo seemed perfectly happy in her lap

Yeah that might seem fine but what of the kid gets suddenly fed up? It goes without saying I'd give up a seat for a pregnant lady , but I wouldn't give up my child's and I would actually give a child my seat if I was pregnant.

Yeah she could have been being rude and its only fair to think that way in that case but disabilities and difficulties can be unseen, and what may look "ok" to you might not be. I'm only saying that because I've been judged in many situations, for example, my child being in the pushchair space on the bus and a mother with a smaller baby thinks she's more entitled. Yep, for all she knew I was a lazy mare not wanting to take my kid out the buggy, when in fact I had my reasons.

Totally not having a go, but people are quick to judge

 

[emmyloves1991]

I wouldn't of before i got pregnant because i couldn't be around a pregnant woman back then, i found it hard because i lost a baby and i had a pet hate for them lol! but now i'm pregnant and happier and know how difficult it is, i would. I probably wouldn't now because i'm pregnant and i need my seat but after i've had the baby i deffo would LOLOLOL!

In the last few weeks when i've got on the train and bus two young men about the age of 22 have given up there seat for me, i feel so special xD. Bless them, there mummy taught them well, when woman of all ages look me up and down and stay seated. pffft! so funny how some of us woman are so against eachother.

That woman should of let you have that seat, stupid cow, i would of said something. Its common sense.

 

[CLH_X3]

Why does a small child need a seat when their adult has a perfectly good lap? I always offer my seat if someone more needful of it gets on the bus. I would give up my single seat for a parent with a small child but wouldn't give up my seat for a child who could simply sit on his/her parents lap. If you take children on a bus, you should be prepared to put them on your knee - whether they are 10mths or ten years old.

Because a child is a person, they are entitled to there own seat and may not want to sit on there mums lap for x amount of time.
And why should a parent be prepared to put there child on there lap specially when they hit 4yrs onwards and have to pay for them to get on the bus!
what 5,6,7,8,9,10 year old wants to sit on there mums lap?! Really 10 years old! LOL

 

[CordeliaJ]

Why does a small child need a seat when their adult has a perfectly good lap? I always offer my seat if someone more needful of it gets on the bus. I would give up my single seat for a parent with a small child but wouldn't give up my seat for a child who could simply sit on his/her parents lap. If you take children on a bus, you should be prepared to put them on your knee - whether they are 10mths or ten years old.

Because a child is a person, they are entitled to there own seat and may not want to sit on there mums lap for x amount of time.
And why should a parent be prepared to put there child on there lap specially when they hit 4yrs onwards and have to pay for them to get on the bus!
what 5,6,7,8,9,10 year old wants to sit on there mums lap?! Really 10 years old! LOL

Sorry I have to butt in briefly - yeah the child may not want to, but if someone needs to sit down, need trumps want in my opinion. All children should be taught that. If there is a serious need for the child to sit down that's one thing, but no child of mine would be allowed to sit just because they want to, when someone who is pregnant, elderly, or disabled needs to sit. That's why they make priority seats, they shouldn't have to, but too many people out there aren't willing to help others. I find that so sad.