I'm a guy, I enjoy my drinks & I'm nervous...

[GFGuy]

I am super new to this, and double super new to looking at any websites called "BabyandBump" lol. So if my questions are ridiculous, I apologize in advance. So here's the deal...

My wife and I just started trying Sunday morning. We both feel like it's going to happen fast. We don't really have a reason except we both feel like it will. Wife has said she felt odd the very next day. We tried again 2 days later and today being the 4th day since the 1st try, she feels like she has a cold all of a sudden. Kind of like flu like symptoms, but not extreme, just feeling like crap and soar throat.

Normally we wouldn't think anything of that, but we, for the most part, are very healthy and neither of us have been sick for years. Plus, we want to get pregnant so this would all be great if that's what's going on. But here is why I am worried.

Neither of us smoke, we both exercise, we both eat organic/real/whole foods for the most part but do enjoy some "cheat" foods here and there (especially on vacation last month! still trying to recover!) All that sounds like we are on top of our game health wise, but we have both enjoyed our alcohol as a single married couple for quite some time. The wife stopped the day we started trying, and I did too. But we hfad pizza, wings and many beers just the night before. Once we find out if she is pregnant, she will be done for the long haul of course and I will do whatever (probably slow down a bit so she isn't jealous!) But I am freaking out now because I have read how MY drinking alone, for the past 3 months as the dad to be (if we conceived) could have made the sperm abnormal and in turn make the future baby have birth defects...

Is this true? We aren't raging alcoholics, but we drink more than most people probably think is the OK amount. Certainly more than any article or doctor will say is the appropriate amount. Probably a bottle or two of wine each night for me, closer to the two mark or quite a few beers. Enough to be feeling no pain. But we hang with each other at home while doing this, we are hard working professionals during the day and enjoy letting loose at night. And we will be different once we have kids, but my concern is that if she is pregnant, my past drinking has doomed our future kids. I hate to be hoping she isn't pregnant because of this instead of getting excited... She doesn't mind AT ALL giving up drinking from this point forward so this isn't at all a post about how to get around this during pregnancy.

Does anyone know if I should be worried or if we will be fine as long as she is healthy during pregnancy?

There isn't many guy doctor people out there for my concerns. I seem to be more concerned than the wife is but it's the damn internet that has me thinking that we are doomed...

PS: Is sex every other day a good idea during the ttc? less or more?

Thank you all for reading my rant and any advice would be greatly appreciated!

 

[kwynia]

I don't have any expertise in this area, but I think any sperm damaged by your intake of alcohol wouldn't have been strong enough to reach the egg. One of the reasons sperm have to travel so far is to weed out any sperm with defects. I applaud your support of your wife and think you will find these forums are a great place to get answers and support.

 

[Cattia]

I think it's more likely to affect your fertility than anything. Half the babies in the world were conceived under the influence of alcohol (slight exaggeration but you get my point!). I'm sure it's a good idea to cut back but I wouldn't worry too much about what has gone already. My second pregnancy I got really drunk as I didn't know I was pregnant until six weeks. Again, not recommended and I worried a lot about it once I found out but my son is perfect. Good luck, it's nice to see men taking an interest x

 

[BeachyFeelin]

I don't have any expertise in this area, but I think any sperm damaged by your intake of alcohol wouldn't have been strong enough to reach the egg. One of the reasons sperm have to travel so far is to weed out any sperm with defects. I applaud your support of your wife and think you will find these forums are a great place to get answers and support.

I agree with this.

I think it would just be beneficial to cut back, maybe have a couple glasses a night instead of a couple bottles. More for health reasons than TTC reasons.

I know most women who are TTC are in the drink till it's pink camp..meaning they still enjoy a glass of wine/beer here and there while TTC and only stop once they get a BFP.

That said, many women have conceived while be raging alcoholics and drug users and have gone on to have healthy babies. I think the same goes for a man. There isn't a need to worry about the quality of your sperm just yet. It can take a healthy couple up to a year to conceive as there is only a 20% chance each cycle.

Since this is your first, I highly suggest your wife start tracking her BBT. Sign up with Fertility Friend and watch their tutorials. They are super helpful. Women around here track their BBT so that they know when they ovulate. Once a women ovulates the egg is only viable for 12-36 hours, so it's important to know when your fertile window is in order to have sperm there and waiting for it or ready to greet it.

If the sperm did meet the egg it still takes the egg 7-12 days (after ovulation) to implant. Only after implantation does a women get pregnancy symptoms, and some never get them at all or not until the 6th or 7th week.

Sex every other day is the ideal. Once you know your fertile window you can pinpoint when you need to start that pattern.

 

[GFGuy]

Thank you everyone for the quick responses.

kwynia, thanks for the applaud! I think I am going to like this site. I want whats best for future baby and more than anything I want my wife to enjoy this and be healthy.

Cattia & BeachyFeelin: I agree. We always joked that we felt like "kids playing house" since getting married a few years back. We don't really "party" we are more of the rent a movie and fall asleep during kind of drinkers... Anyway, I am not as concerned with what happened that day or night as much as the previous few months. I think I am making it out to be worst than it is, but we went on a two week vacation just before starting to ttc and we were like college kids the whole time with rum punches and cheap vodka. I feel confident about how we will be as parents and who we are now, but I just don't want our last few months of enjoying life a little too much to hurt our future baby.

 

[preg_pilot]

What´s past is past.
Like the others have said, the strongest sperm are the ones that reach the egg in the end
Welcome to BnB, and enjoy your stay here