I'm having that horrible too many children issue

[LegoHouse]

My OH and I do not want his nieces and nephews involved in our wedding because there will be too many of them. We've already been told we have to so I found them all little jobs. But they're not good enough because we are not letting them walk down the isle. I can't have 12 people walking down the isle. It's ridiculous. Time for tough love? Do the jobs I've assigned or do nothing at all?

I already feel like they're trying to take over and it has only been 2 weeks planning so far!

 

[Lauren25]

Yes deffo put your foot down!
I asked Our 2 nieces to be flower girls, then kinda regretted it but I've decided they can have a dress and have their pictures taken but they won't be walking down the aisle and they won't have flowers! They will only be 2 1/2 and 14 months!

 

[LegoHouse]

My daughter will be flower girl and I already have 5 bridesmaids from my family so I can't include all of his family it's huge! X

 

[aly888]

I think you've been more than accommodating by giving them jobs. You shouldnt be pushed into giving them roles in the wedding too. It's YOUR wedding. If they don't like it then that's their problem, not yours. Have the day how you want it because you never get this chance again

 

[Rachel_C]

My sister got married last year and had me and my other two sisters, plus one friend as bridesmaids. My grandad walked her down the aisle and she also had my mum walking down first with my two daughters who were flower girls. It was lovely of her to include my kids (and they are the only little kids in the family at the moment) and she wanted them there, but I wouldn't have been offended if she hadn't. It was her wedding and only the people she wanted should be walking down the aisle. I think it's very rude and totally wrong of people to expect their kids to walk down!

I would be tough about it. It's YOUR wedding, they will all have their time to walk down the aisle if they want to... in 20-30 years time! Then they can decide who walks down it. Until then, they should either gratefully accept the way you've asked them to be involved or just sit and be quiet!

 

[ellebob]

How ridiculous! I've invited our niece to be a flowergirl but she's the only child in the family (apart from my daughter, who can't 'walk' down the aisle, lol). If there were loads just wouldn't have them.

Her dad was actually surprised when we said and at the last wedding I went to there was only one child in the family and he wasn't included in the wedding party. Noone thought that was weird or rude so it's really not expected. You'd think the children would be excited enough going to a wedding and wearing pretty clothes.

 

[aly888]

Is it like some sort of tradition for them to all walk down the aisle or are they just ring selfish? I know some families have long standing traditions when it comes to things like weddings/christenings etc, so maybe that's why. But if they're just being selfish then either you, or OH, should put your foot down with them. You're not being unreasonable. I'm not even inviting my own brothers/sisters to our ceremony!!!

 

[LegoHouse]

His sister is trying to make everything about her as per usual. I have issue after issue with her. Heaven forbid we don't see her for a week the whole family has to know we don't care about her lol!

 

[aly888]

Ah sounds like you just have to put your foot down Hun. And I'd do it sooner rather than later so she doesn't get convinced they're gonna be part of the bridal party. It might cause tensions, but it's better to have that tension now rather than 2 weeks before the wedding

 

[nugget80]

I think you need to put your foot down... My mil cornered me and said could we have oh niece as flower girl as none of his family are really involved... I had had a few drinks at time so said yes. I now regret it as it is likely that my dd's who are my bridesmaids will be giving me away and i dont really think i want a flower girl to worry about as well... You need to do what makes you happy, it's your day...

 

[Baby France]

I'm surprised you didn't laugh...I'd have chuckled if someone said to me I had to involve all the kids.

I'd just say to them that under no uncertain terms are you having any children other than your own walking down the aisle. They can have their jobs but thats it. I think you're being fair giving them jobs (I wouldn't even have done that)

As Aly says - its YOUR wedding and the last thing you want to worry about, while all the parents are sat happily in the seats is your stressing out behind the scenes trying to control all their kids, trying to make sure they walk down nicely...pfft...no chance!

 

[baby D]

I feel your pain -- I just KNOW this is going to happen to me (from MIL) as soon as we break the news that plans are starting! Reading with interest!