I'm obsessed with the idea that my baby HAS to be a girl :(

[minties]

And I don't know why. I love boys, I love MY boy so much. I don't relate well to women or little girls. I don't have cosy mother and daughter fantasies of confiding in eachother or planning her wedding.

But I am obsessed about this baby being a girl. I think of it as a girl, I look at girls clothing online all the time. I refuse to think of boy names.

If it did turn out to be a boy I would feel devastated.

This is so silly! I always thought parents who wanted one sex over another were just being drmatic.

It took 8 years TTC to get my son, and when I was pregnant with him, I leaned towards wanting a boy but wasn't too fussed. So I don't know where this feeling is coming from.



I already feel bad because up until my nuchal scan I had no interest in all in even being pregnant (bit of depression). Now I feel doubly bad because if the baby is a boy, my son wont feel like my special little man, and I feel like I wont love the new baby.

Edited to add, my mum, grandma, OH, aunt and uncle all want me to have a girl.

And my MIL STILL has gender dissapointment (had 3 boys) and she's 65! Her kids are 43, 40 and 29 and she still goes on abut thinking each boy would be a girl, and dressing them in girls clothing as newborns. I find that so sad.

 

[katrus78]

It is sad, I had huge gender disappointment with my son, and I can't say I got over it completely... I am now preggo with twins, and my friends tease me they are both boys. Honestly, if they are, I will be so depressed...

 

[minties]

Thanks so much for replying. Are you planning on finding out the genders before you give birth? I didn't find out that Thomas was a boy until 26 weeks last time, when I had to pay for a private scan. Not sure I can handle waiting that long this time.

 

[katrus78]

I am definitely finding out. I know a lot of people would suggest not finding out at all, and just have it be a surprise, and you would be so overcome with emotions that you would fall in love with him (if it's a he) right than. I know it will not work for me. If I don't let myself time to prepare, and find out at birth, I know I will be very upset and it will be very embarrassing with so many people around me at the hospital. I am gonna try finding out at 16 weeks like I did with my son. I am very very nervous already. Some people who looked at my first u/s scan said that one of them (#2) looks like she is giving me a sign that she is a girl because her sac (not sure what it's called, black space?) is pointing down word with a Venus sign I hope they are right

https://i1270.photobucket.com/albums/jj605/katrus78/th_e6f18743.jpg

https://i1270.photobucket.com/albums/jj605/katrus78/Thedahlenbabies.jpg

 

[chetnaz]

Hi hun, I ow how you feel. I keep referring to this baby as she, or her and immediately go to the girl' s section at clothing stores. I'm obsessing over a name for her and imagining what she'll look like. Like you say, I love my boys and I'm so so glad I have three boys rather than three girls, as I really think Im better with boys, but I do want this baby to be a girl. I find out this coming Wednesday and feeling quite nervous. Saying all this, I know one thing though is that if it is a boy I will feel initial dissapointment and loss, but I can't see it lasting for long. I know that I'll bond with baby no matter what, as Im sure you will too. Don't worry, what you are feeling is normal. Hope everything else is going well with you x

 

[Buddysmum89]

I know how you feel :\, i had awful gender disappointment in this pregnancy..All through until my 20 week scan i was convinced my baby was a girl and id even brought a few pink things!, but my OH was convinced he was a boy and i was hoping he was wrong!

I got so angry at my 20 week scan when i was told my girl was actually a boy!, i got that miserable about it i even refused to call my baby a baby, he was more an 'it' or a 'thing', in fact it even got so bad that i didn't want to carry on with the pregnancy because he was a boy.

I still have moments now where i stop to think what if he was a girl what would his name of been!..But i just take each day as it comes, and im slowly beginning to accept that i wont be getting my daughter just yet but all in good time x

 

[katrus78]

https://www.babyandbump.com/pregnancy-first-trimester/993133-can-help-me.html

I just came across this thread and it gives a link to an interesting study where you can tell the gender by the location of the placenta between 6-8 weeks of pregnancy. So, if the placenta is on the left, it's a girl, and if it's on the right, it's a boy. The scan must be intravaginal for the correct determination.