I'm out- how do you all cope?

[Neversaynever]

I find once I have tested and it the bfn, that is normally the day that I feel low and upset. I generally have a good cry, keep myself to myself IRL and come in here to gain the support of people who know what I'm going through.

I also like Sarah's reply but I'm rubbish at putting things so eloquently!

XxX

 

[Natsby]

If you had told me in the first few months of trying for a baby, or just after the first miscarriage that I would still be trying 22 months and another mc down the line, i would have given up then. But we are stronger than we know and as Sarah said earlier in this post time does pass quickly and you try to focus on other things.

However I also have a new and really silly pick me up, I have told other half that if I´m not pregnant in two more cycles (was three but one down.) I´m buying myself a rabbit! We have a big walled garden so no cage, (I don´t like to cage anything,) I have always wanted one but someone always tells me it isn´t a good idea. So this time if I get a bfn at least I can have my bunny! Daft huh? but we all do what we can to survive it.
I do believe one day I´ll go full term, and I hope it is soon but meantime I don´t want to be a victim of my uterus and it´s whims.
Good luck ladies and baby dust to you all.

 

[Macwooly]

However I also have a new and really silly pick me up, I have told other half that if I´m not pregnant in two more cycles (was three but one down.) I´m buying myself a rabbit! We have a big walled garden so no cage, (I don´t like to cage anything,) I have always wanted one but someone always tells me it isn´t a good idea. So this time if I get a bfn at least I can have my bunny! Daft huh? but we all do what we can to survive it.
I do believe one day I´ll go full term, and I hope it is soon but meantime I don´t want to be a victim of my uterus and it´s whims.
Good luck ladies and baby dust to you all.

Not daft at all

DH and I tried for 11 cycles in 2009 and the stress triggered my depression so we took a break and in that time the house went from one cat and 2 dogs to 3 cats and 4 dogs as I needed other things to focus on and I desperately needed something to care for so a number of rescue centres were visited

I think whatever coping method you use is ok and I'm sure everyone's coping method is different

 

[MissBabyFace]

We've been TTC for 4 months now and I know what you mean. Since we miscarried in December we have been so determine to try and we thought because we conceived quick last time (3months) that we would this time but this is going to be our 5th cycle of trying and it's a disappointment each month and I hate it, sometimes I just sit there and cry, am I ever going to be a mum?

 

[Ruth2307]

If you had told me in the first few months of trying for a baby, or just after the first miscarriage that I would still be trying 22 months and another mc down the line, i would have given up then. But we are stronger than we know and as Sarah said earlier in this post time does pass quickly and you try to focus on other things.

However I also have a new and really silly pick me up, I have told other half that if I´m not pregnant in two more cycles (was three but one down.) I´m buying myself a rabbit! We have a big walled garden so no cage, (I don´t like to cage anything,) I have always wanted one but someone always tells me it isn´t a good idea. So this time if I get a bfn at least I can have my bunny! Daft huh? but we all do what we can to survive it.
I do believe one day I´ll go full term, and I hope it is soon but meantime I don´t want to be a victim of my uterus and it´s whims.
Good luck ladies and baby dust to you all.

Love the idea of a rabbit - they are great pets. Just a random thought when I read this and I could be wrong: but don't rabbits burrow and therefore have the opportunity to escape if you don't keep them in a hutch?? I thought that's why you had to keep them inside or in a hutch with a large run.

 

[Natsby]

Hi Ruth, oh you might be right, but a friend of mine here had two free in his garden for years, I think they did burrow a bit but as they had a comfy house to sleep in they didn´t seem to bother much, maybe they were lazy rabbits. The earth here is really hard as it is so dry so it can try but would have to go pretty deep to get under the foundations of the walls, so fingers crossed we will be ok. Something to look forward to anyway, chasing my poor bunny across the fields shouting baby come back mommy loves you hahaha

 

[Macwooly]

I had 2 rabbits which used to have the run of the end of the garden with a hutch. They did dig and burrow and we pushed a 6ft stick down one of their burrows and didn't reach the end. But we had a wall around with deep foundations and they never escaped so FXed

 

[JanetPlanet]

I got a BFN today with an ultra sensative preg test...(10 miu/ml HCG Sensitivity). I am always surprised by the sadness it brings on. And it doesn't happen right away when I'm reading the stick, it happens later that day. Makes me feel a little nutty.

I'm 9 DPO so I'm not definately not totally out for a several more days, but I'm really feeling sorry for myself today. I also think that because I have such severe premenstral depression, the BFN's correspond with the worst possible time of the month for me.

I think positivity is important, but for me, I need to let myself feel the emotions and not try to let myself be talked out of my pain right away. The only way to grow emotionally is to endure some pain. But, having said that, I hope hope hope I feel better tomorrow.

 

[unnamed]

Janetplanet I know just how you feel I am sorry you are having a rough time

There is hope yet though and even if arrives this month there is still light at the end of the tunnel it is just a bit further away than you thought.


xxxx

 

[Desperado167]

Well said unnamed so true hun

 

[sarahincanada]

I also think that because I have such severe premenstral depression, the BFN's correspond with the worst possible time of the month for me.

I hadnt really thought of that but its so true, BFN's do come at the worst time as most of us have some sort of PMS depression/blues. I think its good to have a day feeling sorry for yourself, cry, get it all out and then try and wake up to a new day feeling positive for the next cycle.

the part I hate is the early BFN, as theres still that slight chance that you hold onto. for me I tend to make myself believe that Im out, as it makes the wait a little easier, then the month that it actually happens I will be floored!

this past month my temp dipped down low the day before my period so it was a little warning and helped soften the blow. good luck janetplanet, it will happen for you soon Im sure

 

[mjbutterflies]

Well, the came today, so all my hopes have been dashed. I guess we will try again in about two weeks. I cried, and I feel so sad because there for a while I had some hope that I could be carrying a baby inside me, but now I'm empty again.

 

[LLbean]

Sending you warm hugs Mjbutterflies... That stupid witch sure knows how to mess with our hopes

 

[unnamed]

mjbutterflies af is so horrible I am sorry.

 

[Desperado167]

Well, the came today, so all my hopes have been dashed. I guess we will try again in about two weeks. I cried, and I feel so sad because there for a while I had some hope that I could be carrying a baby inside me, but now I'm empty again.

Awk Hun,so sorry,

 

[mjbutterflies]

Thank you to all of you for the support. In less than a week I will be trying again and hoping, praying and wishing for a BFP.

 

[Macwooly]

Thank you to all of you for the support. In less than a week I will be trying again and hoping, praying and wishing for a BFP.

Love that PMA

Good luck for your new cycle

 

[Rindipops14]

Hi,
I'm new to the forum! We've been trying since May 2010 still nothing. Each month it gets harder and harder. It's effecting my work. I'm over sensitive cry constantly. I'm fed up with myself the all consuming merry go round. Stop I want to get off. I have pregnancy symptoms regularly and my period comes. I went for an apointment at the fertility clinic at my local hospital.
The scan was first. The waiting room was great I sat opposite pregnant couples with a children in a prams. The nurse asked me how far along I was lol. Then the specialist a week later no scan results? No sperm results from gp? Just a lecture about being 40, NHS can't help even tho my partner is 32 yrs? All I heard was the negative robotic lecture my partner thankfully heard the positives.
My period was late lol in order to have the scan to check my tubes I needed this period to arrange it 10days after. It's all such a mess and I feel rubbish and trying hard not to give up. My friends try to help but they dont get it. I'm starting councelling next week to help me feel less like a failure.

 

[unnamed]

Hi Rindipops,

You are in the right place for support, there are lots of people here going through similar things to you. I know just how you feel I had been TBNP for around 6 mths and TTC for 5 mths when I started this post- many here have been trying much longer. The BFPs hurt so much - there is light at the end of the tunnel though, I am now - nervously pregnant- I still can't really believe it. It happened early the cycle following this post!

I really feel for you and am sending lots of

For your next cycle.

 

[Wendyk07]

This thread gives hope to us all. Having counted yourself out last cycle unnamed you went on to get your BFP this cycle. There is light at the end of the tunnel. unnamed, desperado and many more on here(to many to name) are proof of that.

to everyone.

Wendy
x