I'm Random. :)

[tasha41]

A "Random" group...

For those of you who like random one liner jokes..

Sharing things you see on "fmylife.com"...

Youtube videos...

lolcats??..

and strange/funny pictures you find.

I know you guys are out there...

ie: Today, my family was preparing a turkey for my grandma's birthday dinner when my aunt noticed a utensil on the counter and asked what it was for. My mom said it was used to keep the turkey's legs together. My aunt responded to her by saying, "Maybe you should get one for your daughter." FML

 

[Eiroze]

“Today, my girlfriend dumped me proclaiming she wanted someone more like her “Edward”. I asked her who Edward was. She held up a copy her “Twilight” book. She was talking about a fictional vampire. FML.” Couresty of Fmylife.

And my favourite youtube vid at the moment:

Where the Hell is Matt?: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zlfKdbWwruY

Always makes me smile

 

[AppleBlossom]

Oooh my gooood I love random. and I love fmlife, awesome!

 

[Eiroze]

Not for the religious: https://www.humanistsofutah.org/2002/WhyCantIOwnACanadian_10-02.html

 

[tasha41]

www.thisiswhyyourefat.com !!

 

[djgirl1976]

www.thisiswhyyourefat.com !!

well, except for the ice cream cone cupcakes...those look awesome!

 

[tasha41]

Today, my boyfriend told me he couldn't hang out with me because he felt really sick. I went to his house anyway to surprise him with homemade soup. I walk in to his room only to find him hooking up with my sister. She can't drive, our mom drove her there. FML

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. When he was about to orgasm, he screamed "Yes Brittany!" at the top of his lungs. My name's not Brittany. That's his sister. FML

Today, my boss called me into his office to show me the web site of a potential business partner. When he began to type 'virginia' into google, it auto-completed his search with his recent search for 'virgin boy assholes'. I have to go on business trip with him tomorrow. I'm a young guy. FML

Today, my daughter asked me when was the first time I had sex. After I told her 22 she quickly shouted, "Beat ya!" She's thirteen. FML

Today, I found out that I'm pregnant. My husband and I have been trying to have a baby for a while, and I was very excited to tell him the news. When I opened his office planning to surprise him with the news, I saw him making out with a man. FML

Today, my husband of 9 years announced he was gay. He insinuated that he was only able to achieve erections because I looked like a man. FML

 

[pinkmac85]

omg the one with the boss's computer made me laugh out loud!

I LOVE FML! Makes me feel better about my life !!

 

[tasha41]

Today, I checked my facebook, and my wife of 5 years was listed as single. I then write on her wall that it is ok to announce to be married. She writes back saying that we have to talk and to come to the kitchen. My wife divorced me over facebook. FML

Today I noticed that my daughter was making funny noises which oddly resembled sex sounds my wife makes. When I asked her what she was doing she said "I'm pretending to be mommy from last night." I was on a business trip last night. FML

Today, I was reported to my principal because someone caught me shooting up at the cafeteria lunch table and as a result I have been suspended from school. I am a diabetic, I was giving myself insulin before I ate crappy school food. FML

Today, my boyfriend brought me breakfast in bed, told me all the things he loved about me, got down on one knee and pulled out the little blue box I had been hoping for, for so long. He opened the box and there was a note inside that said, "April Fools!" FML

Today, I texted my boyfriend saying hi. His response, "I got your best friend pregnant". FML

Today, I thought I heard my little sister playing on my brand new grand piano. Angry, I ran downstairs to stop her. My parents were having sex. On my piano. FML

Today, I was at a club with my girlfriend of only two weeks. As we were dancing, another woman grabbed my ass from behind me and squeezed. I yelped and turned around to see my mother as the culprit. My girlfriend punched her. I found out my mother is a Cougar and my girl has a mean right hook. FML


AHAHAHAHAHAHAH... I am addicted to fmylife

 

[AppleBlossom]

Today, I found out that I'm pregnant. My husband and I have been trying to have a baby for a while, and I was very excited to tell him the news. When I opened his office planning to surprise him with the news, I saw him making out with a man. FML

It's me lmao!

 

[pinkmac85]

Today, I found out that I'm pregnant. My husband and I have been trying to have a baby for a while, and I was very excited to tell him the news. When I opened his office planning to surprise him with the news, I saw him making out with a man. FML

It's me lmao!

LOL Bexy, at least you have a sense of humour about it all

 

[tasha41]

https://www.buddha-world.org/buddhamania/wp-content/uploads/2008/10/bodyofagod_fullpic_1.gif


I realize Buddha's not a god.. but that's how I feel right now lol.

 

[AppleBlossom]

Today, I found out that I'm pregnant. My husband and I have been trying to have a baby for a while, and I was very excited to tell him the news. When I opened his office planning to surprise him with the news, I saw him making out with a man. FML

It's me lmao!

LOL Bexy, at least you have a sense of humour about it all

Lol if I didn't laugh I'd cry!

 

[tasha41]

^

 

[pinkmac85]

Today, I found out that I'm pregnant. My husband and I have been trying to have a baby for a while, and I was very excited to tell him the news. When I opened his office planning to surprise him with the news, I saw him making out with a man. FML

It's me lmao!

LOL Bexy, at least you have a sense of humour about it all

Lol if I didn't laugh I'd cry!

Well then keep on laughin' girl
I have to laugh over everything otherwise I would just cry-but I'm also a HUGE baby lol

 

[tasha41]

Today, I drove my two kids to their friends' houses. In my convertible, looking what I though was my best, I slowed down outside a bar with cute 20 year old girls in front. My daughter noticed the speed reduction and said, "Keep driving dad, you're fat and mom left you for a reason." FML

My fave!!!

 

[pinkmac85]

Today, I drove my two kids to their friends' houses. In my convertible, looking what I though was my best, I slowed down outside a bar with cute 20 year old girls in front. My daughter noticed the speed reduction and said, "Keep driving dad, you're fat and mom left you for a reason." FML

My fave!!!

bahahahahaha

 

[nataliecn]

Today, I drove my two kids to their friends' houses. In my convertible, looking what I though was my best, I slowed down outside a bar with cute 20 year old girls in front. My daughter noticed the speed reduction and said, "Keep driving dad, you're fat and mom left you for a reason." FML

My fave!!!

 

[Eiroze]

Today, I drove my two kids to their friends' houses. In my convertible, looking what I though was my best, I slowed down outside a bar with cute 20 year old girls in front. My daughter noticed the speed reduction and said, "Keep driving dad, you're fat and mom left you for a reason." FML

My fave!!!

So harsh and So funny!

A Link for making Rainbow Cake (actual picture below): https://www.hostessblog.com/2009/02/fabulous-rainbow-cake-tutorial/

​

 

[tasha41]

https://www.math.hope.edu/deyoung/math_207_sp07/dahm/foxtrot7.gif


bahaha. I'm looking for another one.. but I looove Foxtrot