im so confused, scared and upset, i dont know what to do!!!

[summersj]

he doesnt really want to be in the army anymore and he too wishes he just left the army all together and not transfered over to the TA (his 2 years after wil be done in January) but at the time his depression was really bad and he was worried to go out on civvi street without a little foot still in the door., he is 36 now and joined when as a cadet at 15-army is/was all he knew but since then we have set up a business together and he has 99% beaten the depression so situation is totally different and he wants to move on from the Army now.

As much as i didnt like your comments to begin with, you are right. and i thank you for talking to me. All of my friends are not in military lifestyles and have no idea so there version of support is "oh hun just break up with him and go out with someone who wont go to war, lets go out on saturday as single ladies!" which just P*****s me off even more. but then my friends are also young and stupid and not in love. its good to know there are webistes where people can understand and have been thru it and that makes me think i could do it to IF it happens. I will dread the day, like im sure you do but at least ill be with the man i love and my soldier wont be a soldier forever (thank god!! lol). also i tke my hat off to you for your strength! x

Sorry if I came across a bit harsh hun, just a defence mechanism from constant comments of 'I couldn't do it' 'how can he do that to his family' etc etc. Sounds like he's been through the mill, if he really doesn't want to go he needs to talk to welfare and given his past I'd hope they would be understanding (one hopes!) Although there are loads of negatives there are huge positives too to name a few; the feeling of pride in your man when he's doing such a worth while and demanding job, every time you see each other it's like the first time you fell in love all over again you never forget the butterflies, but most of all the uniform but seriously hun you have to put it in the back of your mind for now or you'll make yourself crazy, if it's all confirmed and you need support feel free to PM me I'll be happy to chat and I know a couple great 'wag' websites. You don't know how strong you are until you're tested xx but def think he needs to speak to someone if he doesn't want to go x

thank you and im sure i will PM you if he goes etc. he has been to war 9 times i think in various places and altho he used to love the job when young and single he has said he has "done his time" and now wants a 'normal' relationship with family and kids- also hence y we set up our own business. he also has no family at all.. his dad walked out the day he was born and his mother disowned him after he went to war the first time (calling him a murderer and telling him he deserves to rot in hell!!!!!!! but thats a whole other story!) so since we met and he realised what love feels like he is wanting to start his own family and so on. anyway since i messaged u yesterday i kinda felt a lot better and am getting on with it and wont think about it until if it happens otherwise life will be awful forever. x