Intuition said boy, scan confirmed boy, hoped for a girl

[DreamCatcher_]

Hi everyone, I never thought I'd see the day when I joined this part of the forum but here I am.

I am 17w today with my second DC and just had a gender scan. The entire pregnancy I have felt that my nugget was a boy but secretly hoped for a girl. My OH only wants the 1 and I knew this was my only chance to have 1 of each (DS is 6).

Today the scan confirmed a boy, there was no denying what we saw on a toilet shot picture. I'm over the moon my baby is healthy but I can't help but feel sad at the loss of a daughter I'll never have. I just knew he was a boy but had convinced myself I was wrong.

I just hope this feeling passes.

 

[Jessicahide]

It will pass, but you wanting another child might not, i find when people's partner insists on only 1 or 2 children it puts pressure on a woman to have one of each or a particular gender, perhaps if you talk with dh about the prospect of another child it may ease your suffering and hurt xxxxx

 

[DreamCatcher_]

The reason OH only wants 1 is because I already have a DS from another relationship and OH sees that as 2, regardless of biology and gender.

I only ever wanted 2, as I thought I'd be over the moon with any gender for both. It wasn't until yesterday I realised that I had, subconsciously, put so much hope in to having a girl.

 

[Jessicahide]

It's difficult. I only planned on having three, but my little surprise girl came along and it feels like it was all meant to be xxx I can't ease your pain, only offer my perspective on your situation, i think its great therapy to talk openly with as many non-judgemental people as possible xxxx here is a great start x

 

[DreamCatcher_]

Thank you. I really hope this feeling passes soon. Nothing has changed about having a baby bar knowing he is a he now, so it feels so silly to be as sad. He has two arms and legs, healthy, growing normally ... that should be enough.

I'm out shopping today so I might try and find a few blue pieces and see how that goes xx

 

[Jessicahide]

Thank you. I really hope this feeling passes soon. Nothing has changed about having a baby bar knowing he is a he now, so it feels so silly to be as sad. He has two arms and legs, healthy, growing normally ... that should be enough.

I'm out shopping today so I might try and find a few blue pieces and see how that goes xx

Good idea, also hold onto the fact he is who you have made, there is no little girl sitting in a cosmic waiting room for you, he is who you have made, and he is unique, special and beautiful xxxx

 

[maryanne1987]

I totally agree with Jessica. Lots of ladies experience gd when they know it's their last and feel it's their last chance for a certain gender. My best friend was a prime example of this. She now has 3 sons who she adores and you would never guess she once longed so much that her last was a girl. It 100% will pass, but don't be so hard on yourself for feeling the way you do. Shopping will help, I experienced gd for a total different reason but once I started buying my little man bits and pieces then it sounds odd but it became more real to me and the excitement kicked in. Just think how happy your ds will be to have a brother too I really hope you feel better soon.

 

[DreamCatcher_]

Thanks ladies. Bought a few wee bits and a stormtrooper onesie haha, I felt better until I rediscovered the rage I felt while shopping for DS1 - why do baby boy clothes fill 1/2 a rack and the girls get at least 3-4 racks!? I still feel this rage when shopping for DS1 haha.

 

[Jessicahide]

Thanks ladies. Bought a few wee bits and a stormtrooper onesie haha, I felt better until I rediscovered the rage I felt while shopping for DS1 - why do baby boy clothes fill 1/2 a rack and the girls get at least 3-4 racks!? I still feel this rage when shopping for DS1 haha.

Its true, although tesco seem to have sorted themselves out this year xxx

 

[Wish85]

Dream!

 

[donnarobinson]

I have three boys Hun! I really wanted a girl last time round I won't lie and say a small part of me would still love a girl but my boys bring me so much joy! I actually love having all the Same gender ! X