Irresponsible to have children on benefits?

[xxembobxx]

I know this is probably going to stir up a huge range of emotions but I wondered how people feel about planning to have children while receiving out-of-work benefits?
I can't believe people would seriously consider it and when I had my LO I was quite upset that my income went down while those on benefits got an increase in theirs.
But then I feel like a hypocrite! I have been on benefits years ago and tbh sometimes I think we would be better off financially if we were on them now! I would never have planned to have a baby while on benefits but I don't like the idea of dictating who can have children and when.
I should declare that we receive tax credits so we are still receiving benefits of a kind. We would really struggle without them but we would manage because we would have to. I try to ease my conscience by thinking if childcare was free people would have the option to work or not to work and I would definitely work as it would be worth while.

 

[Harveysmum369]

We were planning a baby while I was unemployed,but hubby was working full time.
Now I have a job,we have stopped TTC so we can get on our feet financially.
However when I was pregnant,my husband lost his job so we were solely on my SMP and unemployment benefits and I guess people must have thought we were irresponsible.
xx

 

[Blah11]

its irresponsible IMO. IDK how people have babies whilst out of work (both parents) cos we struggle sometimes on 2 wages

 

[LulaBug]

In my view, I don't think it's anyones business whether people plan children while on benefits or otherwise. The only thing that should be of any concern is whether these people are fit to take care of children in the first place. So many people, even those who do work, aren't fit to make toast let alone look after kids and my main concern is that the money, however it's received, through work or through benefits, is spent wisely and on the child and obviously looking after the child in general.

 

[Reedy]

We were planning a baby while I was unemployed,but hubby was working full time.
Now I have a job,we have stopped TTC so we can get on our feet financially.
However when I was pregnant,my husband lost his job so we were solely on my SMP and unemployment benefits and I guess people must have thought we were irresponsible.xx

Thats different as you were already pregnant x when your husband lost his job you didnt say 'you know what neither of us work but lets try for a baby anyway' x

A girl I know is pregnant with her 3rd, all 3 were planned even though her & her husband didnt work. He works now but only does 16 hours a week so they still get all their benefits, she on the other hand has never worked x
I think her husband should be made to work full time as there is no reason he cant other than he's bone idle!!!

 

[4magpies]

Aslong as one of you is working I think it's acceptable, if you and your partner are solely dependant on benefits to live you should not be trying to bring a child into this world.

xx

 

[moomin_troll]

i dont think people should plan to have a child while both out of work. i see some people having it so easy on benifits and they could afford more things then me and oh when we were both working full time but then others really struggle and i dont think a child should be bought into that. i was raised by a single mother on benifits and things were tough growing up, i wouldnt wish that on my children

(maybe this should be put in the debate section? as it will turn into a debate lol)

 

[Blah11]

How can you be fit to parent when you cant afford to buy anything? people who find themselves in situations like harveysmum are totally different.

 

[Harveysmum369]

I think there used to be too many incentives to have a child when on unemployment benefits....such as the surestart maternity grant etc.xx

 

[EstelSeren]

Whilst my husband works, I don't and we receive housing benefit and council tax benefit. Frustratingly we don't currently qualify for Working Tax Credits and I don't qualify for Jobseekers Allowance. We've just put our names down on the housing association list too, although mostly because there are very few properties that we could afford coming up on the rental market and being on the housing list also means that we qualify for the council's assisted buying scheme, which is about the only way we can see ever affording to buy a house! When we started ttc/ntnp last year I was working but we made the conscious decision to continue when I lost my job. I admit it's not the ideal way to bring up a child but I also didn't want to put my life completely on hold for something as simple as money. We have a lot of emotional and financial support from our families and won't actually be receiving an awful lot in benefits as most of them would require either myself or my husband to be receiving income-based jobseekers or other benefits that we don't and won't qualify for so we know that things will be a struggle. However, we 'live right' (don't smoke, don't do drugs, don't drink excessively, etc) and this baby is loved so much already and we both feel, and have done for quite a while, so ready to be parents that I know that we'll be ok and will cope. This is actually quite an emotional issue for me as neither myself or my husband ever believed that we would need to rely on benefits and at the moment our future sister in law has said some things on Facebook that we both found quite upsetting since they were so judgmental- the comments actually had me in tears for a bit and I was in a bad mood for ages afterwards!

I do think though that if we were both claiming Jobseekers Allowance then we would probably have waited to ttc until at least my husband was in employment. However, I wouldn't presume to judge simply on that factor as it doesn't necessarily mean that those people are going to be bad parents. I have a couple of friends who were both out of work whilst she was pregnant with her 3rd child and they struggled immensely but they are both amazing parents and will go without so that the kids will be ok. Now they're having their 4th child and only 1 of them is working and he's training in order to get a better job. They try so hard and I admire them. It's very difficult to differentiate between those who are trying their best to improve their situation and those who are happy to just sit on benefits all their lives so it's unfair to tar everyone with the same brush, in my opinion!

Beca :wave:

 

[Inge]

Hiya, we were fine and on our own two feet financially until I was 27wks pregnant and I lost my job due to company going under so we had to recieve housing and council tax benefit. Thats all we get atm and tax credits+child beneift. If you need the benefit our you are entitled to it like tax credits and child benefit then you should get it (isnt everyone entitiled to both?) but if you get all the benefitys under the sun (some not needed) and decided to have a child when you cant afford it, then thats not the best idea. Im trying to find things from home I can do (peoples ironing and things) to help out more til I can find a good job and I will enroll on an open uni course so I can get better work.

 

[Blah11]

I do think topups for atleast 1 working wage isn't the same as solely surviving on benefits. I claim £300 a month to help towards amelies nursery fees (still need to pay £250 of my own money for them though ) and I dont think im doing wrong If after the baby is born I cant afford to send 2 babies to nursery, i'll leave work and be a SAHM but only if we're better off financially.

 

[4magpies]

I don't think people who do it are bad parents by any means, I just think its socially irresponsible and a bit wrong expecting the tax payer to fit the bill for bringing up the children of people who don't want to work and have never given any thing to society.

x

 

[4magpies]

Hiya, we were fine and on our own two feet financially until I was 27wks pregnant and I lost my job due to company going under so we had to recieve housing and council tax benefit. Thats all we get atm and tax credits+child beneift. If you need the benefit our you are entitled to it like tax credits and child benefit then you should get it (isnt everyone entitiled to both?) but if you get all the benefitys under the sun (some not needed) and decided to have a child when you cant afford it, then thats not the best idea. Im trying to find things from home I can do (peoples ironing and things) to help out more til I can find a good job and I will enroll on an open uni course so I can get better work.

That's totally different, you couldn't of known you were going to lose your job. Benefits are there for people like you, who need them.

It's just a shame that some people abuse the system.

xxx

 

[amie-leigh]

ahhhh just typed a big reply and hit delete by accident

i think if both parents are on benefits, fit for work and neither is trying to find work then they should being ttc (obviously there are unplanned babies that is different)
i think benefits should be used to in the situations where you find your self without an income and you should be actively trying to find a job they shouldn't be a life style

My SIL has 3 kids and neither her nor her partner have worked a single day in their lives and have no desire to work as it would mean they have to pay rent (her words) but they are actively trying for a 4th baby and she has said she wont work as she will kepp having kids
its people like that who give the benefit system a bad name

 

[sophxx]

i think to ttc a baby while both eparents are on job seekers is iresponsible its different if people are unbale to work due to health conditions but i think they should make sure they can provide for there children. one thing that really annoys me is when people winge they are skint cant afford anything can hardly afford to live then they ttc and have another baby and still winge there skint stop having kids then x

 

[sabby52]

I will be 100% honest and say things like this dont bother me in the least I would never even have thought about something like this, at the end of the day if a lady is on benefits and wants a baby, why not Most of the people I know that are on benefits are better of than me and can give their kids better things than I can give mine I would never judge someone for planning a baby while on benefits, its their call, if my tax money doesnt go to them then it will go to someone else anyway Just my opinion

 

[AppleBlossom]

I think it is. If both parents have no job then they shouldn't be having children. By that I mean they shouldn't plan them, I know that it's easy for one or both to have a job, get pregnant and then they lose their jobs etc

 

[ellismum]

We would love to give Ellis and brother or Sister but we just scrape by as it is and we both work. We are having to sell one of our cars to free some cash up (both 11 years old, worth less than a £1000 each) General living expenses such as rent, water etc exceed more than 1 wage, and I am dreading winter with the recent gas and electricity price hikes. We are actually better off if one of us doesnt work but we could never do it.

The whole system needs needs looking into and re-jigging.

 

[Twiglet]

I don't work as to send both my children to Nursery for one day a week would cost me £140. If I were to work it'd only be to do the job that I got myself into 25K worth of debt training for [I'm a qualified teacher for special educational needs children] if I were to do this we'd not get any help towards Nursery fee's, housing benefits, council tax and no WTC or CTC...whereas with me at home and Liam bringing in his crapola wage [he's a trained support worker for people with learning disabilities] we're better off.

I don't feel bad for what we claim when I know a girl who is on her 5th child, has never worked a day in her life and is a year younger than me [she's 23] and has a 5 bedroom house that she doesn't pay for, CB, HB, Council tax benefit, IS and so on...the kids go to the cinema weekly, one of them is in an under 2 funded Nursery as the mum managed to get her a spot due to her being exhausted...I do get annoyed with her.