Is DTD in front of your children abuse?

[Narla83]

I dont think this should be classed as abuse if like you say its quiet and your in a loving relationship and not thrown in their face.

Seems everyones opinion is the same, why on earth you'd want to do this in the first place , If the child is of an age where they understand whats going on I know I wouldnt be comfortable doing it!

 

[BlackBerry25]

Depends on the situation.

If they were doing it purposefully in front of a kid, yeah I would think so. But everything is an individual case.

If the kid is sleeping, no.
If the kid is chilling on the couch next to you, yeah kinda.

 

[Natsku]

I think most people will have at some point heard thier parent/s having sex and yeah its totally cringe worthy but maybe if parents were open about sex with in a loving stable relationship there wouldnt be as many unwanted pregnacy, such high std count and young people having sex they later regret.

This.

It would be much better for children to learn about sex from their parents and learn it is something that happens between people that love each other, than learn it from tv and porn and get a different view of it altogether.

 

[angelandbump]

When i lived at home, i walked in on my mum and dad that many times they had to put a lock on their door and i am not traumatised or feel like i have been abused!

100% not abuse but its soo wrong/borderline abuse if they are making/allowing the child watch.

I "make love" or as we say "get it on" when our LO is in his cot in our room asleep and i see no problem.
When he gets older (enough to pay attention more) then we would be more discrete like when i used to live at home.

 

[BlackBerry25]

Walking in is different than purposefully doing it in front of a kid.

 

[freckleonear]

Yes it's wrong. No it's not abuse. If people had actually experienced true abuse then they wouldn't throw the term around so lightly.

 

[BlackBerry25]

Well depends on how extreme the case is.

I had a foster brother who saw his mom and dad, do stuff, like a porno.
He was YOUNG, like a toddler. We had him when he was a kid, and he would re-enact the stuff on the other foster kids, and had to change homes to one where he was the only kid.

So it can be abuse. It really can. I think seeing your parents under the covers is one thing. What about seeing someone give or receive oral? Etc?

There is a line that can be crossed.

 

[Laura2919]

Oh poor boy Blackberry..

 

[redpoppy]

I think if its done overtly, it most definitely can be. But done discreetly (because you live in a bedsit, or a one room apartment or a studio or a hut as I'm sure MILLIONS of people across the world do) then I don't think it's abuse.

There is something inappropriate there for sure.

 

[cleckner04]

We've done it with Emma in the room when she was a newborn. She was asleep. I'd be a bit freaked out if her little eyes were watching.

I'm having a hard time forming an opinion on it because it's so cringeworthy. I think it is abuse in the slightest form of the word. It gets a bit more extreme if people are forcing an older kid to watch.

I've walked in on my parents a few times. And while it was horrible and so embarrassing at the time, now I think of it as 'how amazing is it that these people are still in love and attracted to eachother after 30 years of marriage'.

 

[lucy_x]

WHat a horrible thought!

Erm, I wouldnt say it was abuse, We DTD with Amari in our room, As long as she is asleep. She still has a bath with her daddy and i dont think thats abusive

I wouldnt say it was abuse, Mentally disturbing maybe. However its not something i would call SS over (just IMO)..

 

[midori1999]

Deliberately (as described in the OP) having sex in front of children who are old enough to know something is going on even if they aren't entirely sure what exactly is going on (eg. not babies, but toddlers) is classed as abuse in the eyes of the law and is proven to be potentially damaging to children.

Having sex discreetly and quietly when children are in the same room but asleep, so, on holiday, for example, would not be classed as abuse. (as far as the law is concerned)

I do agree with the above. It is perfectly possible to be open about sex as part of a loving relationship without actually allowing your children to see it.

 

[annawrigley]

It is actually classed as abuse, its sexual abuse

 

[Justagirlxx]

Yes it is classed as sexual abuse as someone above already mentioned. I don't see how that would be any different than showing your toddler hardcore pornography, it's sick and not right.

 

[KittyVentura]

I wouldn't say abuse... but it is wrong. Different I think with babies if they're in your room etc early on... but once they are alert and aware etc they should be protected from being exposed to anything sexual until a suitable age.

There's the other side of things that if your child see's that going on... and then heaven forbid was abused themselves in that way... would the child know it was wrong or just think it's like what Mummy & Daddy do? I dunno... Not worth thinking about for me xx

 

[annawrigley]

^ Good point

 

[bubbles123]

Once they are old enough to understand, it is very dodgy. Babies sleeping in your room etc I would say is OK.

 

[Sarah10]

Sorry the thought of it disgusts me, its different if they're a newborn baby asleep in the room or something or even a small child asleep, but if they're awake knowing whats happening its not on at all.

 

[sequeena]

When I was younger I saw my parents having sex and god I was horrified... but it wasn't abuse. The punching, slapping, shouting was abuse.

I'd never dtd in front of my child though.

 

[xnmd1]

well now OH and I DTD when LO is asleep in our room, but uh, he's 3 months old.
We certainly wouldn't be doing that when he was older or awake or whatever.

I'm not sure if i'd technically call it abuse .. but it is wrong IMO.