Is every man a potential paedo?

[fantastica]

I think it's ridiculous (not for people who have been through things, it is completely founded...I didn't trust men for a long time either). I understand being wary of these things, and why people wouldn't leave their children with someone...there's only a couple of people I would leave Jacob with, and their gender isn't something I factor into it (although I do think women can be a bit more 'wary' than men...mothers are different iykwim?). Anyone can be a paedophile, people just always assume it would be a man, whereas that's obviously not true. I think it's just awful where a man can't relax with his own children for fear of being viewed in that way, what an awful way to live , that woman who said something to the guy you mentioned should be ashamed of herself!

It's such a sad society we live in, you'd honestly think the whole world are child abusers, whereas it's really far from it. I'm not saying you shouldn't be careful, but there also shouldn't be this labelling of men all the time, it's completely sexist, women can be just as bad.

Hope i've not offended anyone..I do understand why people feel the way they do btw, I just think it's such a sad situation which has led to all this. x

 

[Midnight_Fairy]

Only in other people's eyes. Women can be abusers too so maybe the question should really be 'can anyone be a paedophile'. I am not paranoid about abuse and I am perfectly comfortable having male family members/ friends looking after LO. If I did not trust them then I would not have them in my life at all.

me too. My dad takes my kids swimming, park etc on his own and my OH takes my kids swimming on his own. I would be devastated if anyone said anything hurtful

 

[smokey]

But thinking it and saying it are completly different.
I think its perfectly fine probably even natural protective instinct to be weary and watchfull of someone and keeping in mind its a possability but to out right go hysterical and start shouting pedo just because a bloke happens to be standing in a park is just ridiculus.

I remember a story in the paper a few years back when the sarahs law was first thought of people where realy on a witch hunt and one bloke got abuse off of his neigbors where they spent day and night shouting outside his home, throwing bricks through his window even fire bombed his home and attacked him if he tried to come outside.
In the end either he commited suicide or someone got hold of him and beat him to death I cant quite remember wich but it all turned out to be mistaken identity, he just happened to look like a known local pedophile and everyone jumped on the bandwagon and harrased an innocent man to his death.
I think this was why they didnt pass the law to make pedophiles identity public.

America have one too called megans law I think it was and I had a look at their website out of couriosity one day where you could look around a map of california and it would show you photos, adresses, info, convictions of known pedophiles and I was quite shocked there was millions of them.
I was in two minds of if it was a good idea or not because you could have mistaken identity and lynch mobs but also because there was clearly some breakdown in how to deal with them because the hundreds of thousands of them that where all grouped around playgrounds and schools was so disturbing, the law cant realy do much if they have served their time already becuse if they try to move them on to another area they would end up just losing track of them and then they would be an undetacted danger.

 

[TattiesMum]

But thinking it and saying it are completly different.
I think its perfectly fine probably even natural protective instinct to be weary and watchfull of someone and keeping in mind its a possability but to out right go hysterical and start shouting pedo just because a bloke happens to be standing in a park is just ridiculus.

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Absolutely!!

 

[sequeena]

To me they are. It sounds terrible and I know I'm being irrational but I can't help it. I was sexually abused for 10 years by a man who was meant to be my step father... I finally told my story and went to court in November 2010 only to lose the case. It's a struggle every day to not feel repulsed by men and resist the urge to scream when one comes near me.

Sometimes, even my partner is too much for me to bear and I shut down. I'm going to project my fears onto my child I just know it and I don't know what to do.

It is a sad thing that a man can't take a picture of his child in the park or help a fallen child.... but it's the society we live in now.

 

[indy and lara]

Hubby and I were discussing this this morning. We all went to the gym. He took Emma swimming and I went to work out and we met later on. In light of comments here I did wonder if people were thinking that about him today.

For me I can understand why, if you have been abused yourself you have these concerns. That is very different as I would imagine that you are very wary of people in general and to live with the consequences of what happened to you must be a challenge everyday.

But beyond that I find the thought that all men are a potential danger really hard to understand. I refuse to live like this. It makes me happy to see men with their kids out and about. I see it as a positive thing and I am not concerned that they are a risk to Emma. And as I said before, I have no conerns about leaving her in the care of any of our male relatives/ friends.

 

[Midnight_Fairy]

My OH is going to be helping with reading at the school once a week, he has had a CRB check the same as everyone else etc. There are 2 other dads who also read to the kids. Everyone has been checked, I dont feel uncomfortable with it. I think its good dads want to be involved with children's education. It would be awful to be suspicious all the time.

 

[morri]

Paedophilia is just like other disorders a disorder, Unless you think that everybody could be a possible narcisstic, or a possible schizoid person or Borderline etc

Also Not every Paedophile actually is also a sexual Offender. There are many Paedophiles who know that they are paedophiles and have a lot of psychological problems with being so but don't commit any paedophiliac actions.

 

[annawrigley]

It sad as well that its not just men, these days women have the potential as well.
In some cases children are not even safe with imediat family mambers, I had a sick vile uncle that deserves to rot in hell that should have been trusted.
My childminder when I was little had four of her step kids taken away because their father was abusing the girls (they where 7, 12 and 13 at the time) and to this day its still believed that she knew about it.
Another friend was molestered by her own brother.
There are only 2 men I would trust with the safety of my children in that way and thats my husband and my father and I trust them 1000% any other man to me is a potential threat, sad but thats the way it has become and id rather be suspicios and safer then trusting/nieve and sorry

The bolded is something I can never ever understand... Nothing made me leave FOB, he left me in the end, but if he ever hurt Noah I'd be gone like a shot and never looked back. Same with my dad, I love him to pieces and he's a huge part of mine and Noah's lives but if he ever hurt him (feels awful even typing that) I'd cut all contact with him without any regrets. I dont get how people can stand by and let it happen

And as for the question, I'm not sure really...
Agree with a PP saying they fear any man in a 'scary' situation, like walking down an empty street in the dark... If any man of any age walked past me I'd feel intimidated and that they were a potential threat. Oddly I feel less vulnerable when I have Noah with me though
There are men who work at Noah's nursery and also at the nursery I'm on placement at and I do admit, as bad as it is, I found it a bit odd at first.
There's only 1 boy on our course who's said when he's on placement he has to put a cushion on his knee if the children want to sit on his knee!! I thought that was dreadful.
The other day when I was waiting for the bus a boy started talking to me, I don't know if he had anything 'wrong' with him but he was rambling on and on not making much sense. When we got on the bus he started talking to Noah and I admit I felt a bit uncomfortable with it, I think it was mainly because I didnt even know him and despite me hardly replying he kept on talking to me, and then Noah. Although if it had been an old lady talking to him on the bus I wouldn't have found it weird or uncomfortable at all.

 

[storm4mozza]

id feel weird with anyone near my child man OR woman, these days it seems some women are just as bad as men. women can be peadophiles not just men. i think its the women more people need to be concerned about which is sad. i dont know how any person man OR woman could do such a thing to a child D:

 

[smokey]

I do think the ability to be a pedophile is more a male thing, something in their psychological makeup maybe.
Something I have noticed though is in the cases where its been a female have you noticed there is normaly a bloke behind them also involved? could it be these women are not so much actual pedophiles but rather weak sick women doing it to impress, please a male.
No it doesnt make it any better but I cant help feel the actual fetish of being a pedophile is a male trait and these other women where mostly used as a means to gain access, trust, closeness to the children and the women stupidly wanted to do anything to please.

 

[hopeandpray]

It's hard to tell how I feel yet since I don't have children but all the people I know who were abused were abused by fathers, uncles or priests so I don't feel much threat from 'the man in the park' type paedophile. The fact that its the people you trust most is the scary thing