Is it time to stop?

[RJsMum]

I'm posting this here because it isn't getting ANY responses in the BF forum...probably because the experience there is from women STILL BF. Anyway, here is what I copied and pasted from my other post...

DS is still partially BF...how will I know it's time to go ahead and stop?

DS is 17 mos and still gets BF 2x/day. 1x in the morning as soon as he gets up and 1x before bed. On days I work (I'm a supply teacher) he sometimes doesn't get the morning feed if we're in a rush to get out the door and there have even been a few times where he's missed a night feed from Mommy and got his cow's milk by Daddy if I was out with SIL.

During the day he takes water only from a sippy (and he does well with that) and then before his nap he will drain a 9oz bottle of cow's milk. He will sometimes get a top up of cow's milk before bed if he's signing for 'more milk please.'

A couple weeks ago I was bitten pretty hard. He still only has 7 teeth and although there were a handful of times before he turned a year that he drew blood, this time was so bad that I couldn't feed him on that breast for a couple days. It has since healed, but DH keeps suggesting that it's time to stop. My SIL has also made a comment that she is "surprised" I am still BF DS.

I don't have any issue with people who carry on past 12 mos, in fact, althought I had planned to stop at 12 mos, but then changed my mind and decided to at least carry on after his jabs. Now that he has had them all and I don't feel like my supply is what it used to be (with only feeding 1-2x/day) I wonder how I will "know" it's time to go ahead and stop?

 

[tina_h75]

with all 3 of mine they stopped around 8 months as they were weaned and I wasn't feeding them through the night or giving comfort feeds anymore. I know a lot of people agree with breastfeeding for as long as possible and whilst I am absolutely 100% for BF, I only continued for as long as it was necessary to do so. Sorry I can't be of any more help - only you will know when is right.

 

[Mum2b_Claire]

I think it is entirely up to you. No more to be said than that really.

 

[Nibblenic]

My first reacton is omg if he can draw blood its time to stop!

However I do undstand that people BF for a long time and longer than you have.

Only you and your son know when its time.

 

[RJsMum]

Hehe...while I totally appreciate the responses, and I fully expected the "only you will know" advice...that's just it...I don't know, hehe. Is there anything he will be doing in particular to show he is ready to just leave it?

He's obviously not fussed if he misses it on a morning and clearly feeds from a bottle with Daddy with no problem. I just don't know if there is something I should be looking for to tell me he is ready?

ETA: Maybe I'll just cut out the morning feeds altogether and then slowly see how he does with the bedtime feed. He doesn't get fed if he wakes in the night though anymore.

 

[Nibblenic]

I think if he is happy to settle without the boob he is ready.

 

[CountingDown]

I bfed until 20 months with Olivia and she just lost interest, one day she just stopped asking for a feed and I carried on offering for a few days but she just didn't want any.

 

[NickyT75]

I know how you feel hun as my LO also bit me & drew blood a few weeks ago

I was tempted to stop altogether as soon as that happened but she is teething & wanting it more than normal so im just following her lead & seeing if she starts to lose interest once the teeth are through xx

 

[Miss_Bump]

I've had blood and know how much it hurts! But have found biting only happens during teething.

If you are happy to continue and LO is happy then why stop?

I always get 'your STILL breastfeeding'

At the end of the day tho it's totally your choice, noone elses

 

[Tacey]

If you're offering, and he takes it, he's not yet ready to self wean. It's actually pretty rare for a child to self wean before they're 2. Having said that, if he's not fussed about it, and you're happy to call it a day, it wouldn't be hard to do and may be a good time. Personally, my reasons for continuing are for the health benefits, snuggly bonding time and to calm her when she is getting herself worked up. In fact, I think that last one is going to be a huge help as she heads into toddler meltdown territory! I know everyone has said it, but it really is a decision only you can make.

 

[Seity]

It really is up to you. I'm down to just morning BF every day. He tried to bite me a couple times, but I took away the breast when he did it and that was enough to convince him not to bite my breast anymore. I think if he had continued to bite I'd be seriously considering stopping the BF as well.
Good luck either way.

 

[RJsMum]

The biting has happened less than a handful of times and it HAS been during teething times. He doesn't do it intentionally and each time he has it has been because I offered him the breast after he would slip off when he was clearly finished...so I can't fault him for that.

I do like that it's a guaranteed way to calm him and I use this to my advantage if he gets a good knock on the head or something when he trips and falls. It's the best way to keep him still so I can hold a bag of ice to his head AND it soothes him on top of it.

I suppose I just wasn't sure if he would do something in particular as a cue that he was ready...or if my supply is worth keeping up for the couple of times he gets it. Plus, a bit of pressure off DH to quit really isn't helping.

I think for convenience we may cut out the morning feed so I don't feel so rushed on a morning and then guilty for him not getting 'mommy milk.' I'll follow his lead on nights though.

 

[Miss_Bump]

Regarding supply, if he feeds even once a day you will still maintain milk

Have you been offering cows milk in the afternoon at all?

Evie will happily take cows milk from a sippy or a doidy in the afternoon

 

[glitterbug]

My son is 16 months and I still feed him in the morning, although my OH got him up the other day and fed him cows milk so he didn't get fed on me all day and he was fine.

I, like you, have a suspician that my supply is down anyway and the feeds are more of a comfort and a cuddle with mummy than actual food. I often top him up with about 4oz of cows milk after a boob in the morning now.

To be honest, I think it's more to do with how you're feeling than anything else. I felt so gutted and upset the night I gave him cows milk instead of mummy's milk I cried for hours!!(i'm pretty sad!) but if you feel like stopping, or at least trying to stop then give it go.
I have to say that the morning OH got him up and fed him so I could lay in I was gutted, but little man didn't care less!!

 

[wishingonastar]

with isabel i thought i'd stop at 6 months...we carried on, then i thought we'd stop at a year...we carried on (though as working full time it was only morn and/or eve). We finally stopped when she was approx 15 months when i was about 18 weeks preggo as my supply dried up almost totally but i found by then we had got down to eve only BF and as BFing had gotten painful (sore pregnancy nips) i decided to 'not offer, but not refuse'...turns out she never asked for BF as of this point so we stopped

i think if you feel you would like to stop if your son doesn't want it anymore then you may want to try 'don't offer, but don't refuse' then he'll let you know if he does still want a feed by pulling at top, bobbing at breast area while being cuddled and so on...

 

[Jchihuahua]

Daisy has pretty much self weaned now at 17.5 months. It started at 16 months. She's always been such a booby monster. She was exclusively BF until she was 1 then I started to introduce 1 cows milk feed and she'd still have at least 2 breast feeds each day, often more. Around 16 months she started to turn down BFs or she'd latch and unlatch after a 1 minute suck or she'd just mess around and play or sometimes she'd bite. As the weeks went on she would turn away when I offered her booby 90% of the time. She never asks for it anymore or pulls at my clothes or turns in, even when she's tired, which she always used to do. I still offer at bedtime and one time out of 10 she might have a very brief feed but usually she just turns away. She goes mad for a bottle of cows milk though and actually says 'bottle' at bedtime. I will keep on offering though until she never chooses to have a BF but I think that will be sooner rather than later. I was devastated at first when she started lacking interest but I did what I aimed to do, fed her until she chose to stop.

 

[candyfloss]

I stopped bfing William when he was 17.5 months, I did cry the first night he went to bed without a bf! He was taking less and less at bedtime and that was his only bf, I explained it to him saying he was a big boy so the booby juice was going, got him big boys pjs and big boy cup for his milk and that was it! He only asked for it once or twice over the next month so think it timed out well, I liked that he was old enough to have it explained to him and time did feel right.

Well done to you for going for so long!

 

[Shiv]

I would say when you offer boob and they refuse then they are truly ready to self wean. However if you feel that you are ready to stop breastfeeding then you can just not offer boob anymore and see if LO asks for it.

 

[LankyDoodle]

Hi.

I am 'still' breastfeeding and although I keep getting told I should stop, I just don't want to and neither does she. Some nights she only feeds for about a minute, but she still wants it; other nights she will feed for about 10-20 minutes. She still has a morning and evening b/f. Because I work during the day Mon-Thurs, for the sake of consistency, even when I am here, she has cow's milk during the day, but she still wants the breast morning and night, and when I am here she is offered it during the day randomly.

I am reluctant to give up until she shows signs that she is ready, and I think those signs will be fairly obvious, with the main one being refusal of the breast. We have only had that a couple of times in her life and it was more down to illness/teeth.

With regards to supply: I am only feeding 2x a day most days (although, like I said, sometimes she doesn't take much), and about 8 weeks ago I noticed my supply was better than ever, even though I had fed every 1.5 hours during the day and every 2-3 hours at night til she was 6-7 months old, then 5 or 6 times a day til she was about 10/11 months old. My supply was always very sensitive, as it is for most people early on, and I could never really express much, but now I can express a fair amount in comparrison (although I try not to do that too much!) and my supply is really good. I don't think your supply will be an issue. At this stage it should be able to withstand a few days without a feed, very easily.

 

[Seraphim]

It's hard isn't it.

H still feeds morning, nap and bedtime and throughout the night - anything from once to four times if shes poorly or teething. She won't take a bottle to go to sleep, and she won't settle for anyone but me

I'm waiting for the signs too. I think the only sign is refusal, and there's no sign of that here.

I feel 'wrong' to say I'm tired, worn out, and would happily be done with being the only one who can put her to bed or go to her in the night. I haven't had a full nights sleep in over 2 years

I also feel a bit cheated that everyone always seems to talk of being down to one bedtime feed by this stage

I do love her with every breath, she's worth it