Is it wrong to expect visitors to call before visiting?

[babyfromgod]

Yesterday BIL came round and knocked on the door. I was still in my pj's in the afternoon lol but i had a really busy weekend and felt like having a lazy day. I didn't answer the door but he knew i was home as DS1 started having a tantrum. He kept banging on the door and in the end i just sent him an SMS and said i'm not answering the door because i am doing my exercise dvd (as an excuse) and that he needs to ask before he just shows up. I get that he had some spare time and wanted to come visit his nephews but still i think he should have asked first. He does this quite often and it is really getting annoying now. I don't mind if it is after 4.30pm as i half expect it but any earlier and it just annoys me. I think he is all pissed off at me now as he didn't SMS me back and just drove off.

Should i feel bad? How would you feel in this situation?

 

[baby88]

Yesterday BIL came round and knocked on the door. I was still in my pj's in the afternoon lol but i had a really busy weekend and felt like having a lazy day. I didn't answer the door but he knew i was home as DS1 started having a tantrum. He kept banging on the door and in the end i just sent him an SMS and said i'm not answering the door because i am doing my exercise dvd (as an excuse) and that he needs to ask before he just shows up. I get that he had some spare time and wanted to come visit his nephews but still i think he should have asked first. He does this quite often and it is really getting annoying now. I don't mind if it is after 4.30pm as i half expect it but any earlier and it just annoys me. I think he is all pissed off at me now as he didn't SMS me back and just drove off.

Should i feel bad? How would you feel in this situation?

hey i hate it too they always tend to show up when im cooking dinner, in the shower, or having a lazy day looking a mess, and toys every where lol, its sort of more a embarrassment more then anything, i always say to my husband y cant they ever ring b4 coming lol, but i wouldn't have ignored the door tho haha, but fair play, it might make him call next time, but if that was me in his situation i would of felt a bit disowned lol, maybe u should of said ''i cant find the door key hahaha!

 

[omfgski]

.

 

[WanaBaba]

This is one thing I realy hate too! I love to have days where me and LO just laze around in our pjs and play, mess everywhere etc! So hate not knowing when people are just gunna turn up! I'd be too scared to send a text saying go away though haha so I'd either pretend not to be on or if they knew I was in I'd answer it but be annoyed lol.

 

[R_x]

I hate people just turning up too, I like to having a warning so I can do a quick tidy up lol. but i'd of answered the door.

 

[babyfromgod]

Lol i feel kinda bad for not answering the door, but he would have insisted he came in anyway and i'm a person that can't say no to people very easily. Plus i know him and his wife already think i am lazy enough as every time they come over there are toys everywhere haha and she is a clean freak. Once BIL even had the cheek to say what do you do all day, sit on your arse? Just because there was washing on the couch that needed to be folded and the floor had toys all over it! So wouldn't want them seeing me in my pj's at 3pm lol. Can't wait till they have kids to mess up their house, then they might understand!

I'm glad we are moving overseas in a couple of months cause i wont have to deal with unexpected visitors as no one will know us where we are moving to.

 

[moderntate]

Personally I think its quite rude that you didn't answer the door and just sent him a text message- even if you just answered and said that your sons are poorly and could he come back another time. But yes- it does annoy me when people just turn up. My mother is one of those people- she will be like "oh lets go and see so and so" and will get in the car without even ringing to see if its convenient- it does embarrass me a little and despite how many times I tell her its the same "they're friends they don't expect us to ask"

 

[omfgski]

Lol i feel kinda bad for not answering the door, but he would have insisted he came in anyway and i'm a person that can't say no to people very easily. Plus i know him and his wife already think i am lazy enough as every time they come over there are toys everywhere haha and she is a clean freak. Once BIL even had the cheek to say what do you do all day, sit on your arse? Just because there was washing on the couch that needed to be folded and the floor had toys all over it! So wouldn't want them seeing me in my pj's at 3pm lol. Can't wait till they have kids to mess up their house, then they might understand!

I'm glad we are moving overseas in a couple of months cause i wont have to deal with unexpected visitors as no one will know us where we are moving to.

Ugh he sounds charming! Probably best you didn't answer then if he's one of those pushy types! Don't text next time tho lol just hide and pretend you didn't hear his bashing on the door over the tantrum. Or pretend you were stuck on the loo

 

[DragonflyWing]

It's not wrong to expect visitors to call before showing up...but I do think it was kind of rude to leave him at the door and just text him. I would at least have come up with a better excuse and texted "Oh I have LO in the bath, I can't get to the door. Come back later!"

 

[babyfromgod]

It's not wrong to expect visitors to call before showing up...but I do think it was kind of rude to leave him at the door and just text him. I would at least have come up with a better excuse and texted "Oh I have LO in the bath, I can't get to the door. Come back later!"

That is a good excuse!

 

[Bon18]

I hate it when people do that! I would have quickly grabbed some pepper to set off a sneezing fit and answered the door pretending to be ill...

 

[Eleanor ace]

I don't like people turning up unannounced either. I wouldn't have text him personally but then you know him better than we do and know if you need to be rude to make him see that he is being rude! I'd have answered and said I'm ill and LO was up all night, that's why I'm in my PJ's.

 

[Bevziibubble]

I don't like it when people turn up unannounced either, it always seems to be when I'm in my pyjamas, no make up on etc! I always prefer people to arrange in advance

 

[smelly07]

I also hate when people turn up without arranging or calling first - its just polite lol!

But if someone knocked on the door and knew i was in i would just answer and tell them to ring before turning up next time x

 

[Tegans Mama]

People always ring before they come here or I don't always answer the door

 

[kmumtobe]

Hate hate it, I like to have the house pristine and myself for that matter before people come, my il's always just turn up and they always knock on the window or just come round the back and appear at the dining room doors! I've made my oh have numerous conversations that this is not on especially when they know he's not going to be there only me and ds and it gets better for a bit then it creeps back up again, they text and ring all the time so it wouldn't be hard for them to do!

 

[babyfromgod]

Glad i'm not the only one who hates unexpected visitors. At least he would have gotten the point now. He's always been a person to just show up. When i was working i would get home and him and his wife would be waiting outside our house for us. It's like c'mon give me a chance to get inside and start tea before you show up. He really is a lovely person and loves his nephews but he just needs to learn to text or call before showing up from now on. Especially since i have got 2 LO's and i'm usually in a mess along with my house unless i know people are coming over.

Next time i wouldn't text someone as i realise that was pretty rude but i was in a panic and didn't know what to do and didn't want to answer the door because he would have insisted he came in even if i said i was sick. I could have hidden from him if DS didn't have a tantrum because i was saying shhh and trying to hide with him lol. I should have bribed him with chocolate haha, i'm sure he wouldn't have a tantrum with a mouthfull of chocolate.

 

[LulaBug]

Wow....I must be the only one who doesn't mind having visitors unannounced.

Sometimes it can be a really nice surprise and gesture for someone to pop by. It show's they're thinking of you and want to be in your company and if you're having a crappy day, it could be just the tonic you need.
I don't see anything wrong with that and there is no harm in explaining if they do pop round and you are busy, that you are in fact, busy. I doubt that given they would have not given prior warning to coming round, that they'd take offence. It's the risk they take by coming round in the first place.

Just my opinion xx

 

[biggerfamily]

I don't take it kindly at all for someone to show up on my front step an not call. If someone is going to come to place to visit they better call or I'll not be in a nice mood at times.

There used to be a guy would show up at our home an just walk in our home without knocking until one day he showed up an I showed him the door with a gun in my hand. He has never done that again or came by our place again.

 

[meldmac]

Wish my family lived close enough to do this to be honest.