Is it wrong to put a boy in a dress?

[emyandpotato]

Not would you, but is it wrong? From both the perspective of if they want to wear one, and just because the parent likes the item.

 

[pinklightbulb]

In my opinion, yes. It is wrong. I will elaborate more when Liam is asleep

 

[robinator]

I think if a boy wants to play dress up at home, I would let him. I would not in public, because someone would be bound to make fun of him and who knows how that would affect his self esteem.

 

[special_kala]

Honestly yes. I think that sometimes when people push the boundaries its about them rather then the child so allowing a boy to wear a dress everyday wear is not fair to me.

Children need a certain amount of boundaries and as parents its our job to take control sometimes and say no. River would happily wear her pjs out all day but I don't let her because its not ok.

That said if my child came to me at an age where I think they were responsible enough to make real decisions and said that they wanted to wear girls clothes I would fully support that decision.

A toddler though would be explained that while dress up is fun boys don't wear dresses in general.

 

[jenniferttc1]

I personally believe it's wrong. Now if he was older and knew what wearing a dress meant, that's his choice. I think it's more of a parent making a statement allowing it, when the toddler has no idea what statement he is making. I would have a very hard time with my husband though, he has a very big fear of this since his dad was transgender and legally and surgically became a female vagina and all.

 

[pinklightbulb]

Was going to elaborate but the above replies said what I wanted to.

 

[sam2eb]

Dressing up play, in the house......no.

Out and about, in public......yes!

 

[MikaylasMummy]

I think it is wrong and agree with the posters above

 

[staralfur]

I don't know if it's wrong. But I don't think it should be wrong, if it is.

I don't know if that makes sense. Basically...you teach your kids that hitting is wrong, bullying is wrong, 2+2=5 is wrong. I don't think that a boy wearing a dress is fundamentally wrong like those things are.

Things that are deemed wrong by society are always changing and progressing because people question WHY they feel it's wrong in the first place. Why, really, does it matter if a boy wears a dress? It's not hurting anyone. It's not a proven fact that boys aren't supposed to wear dresses. I'm sure at one point it was taboo for girls to wear pants.

So, no. I don't think it's wrong. I think that the people who would judge/make fun of the boy are wrong. And I'm not saying that to be mean because I too would probably think "That's a bit odd.." if I saw a little boy in a dress walking through the mall or something.

But of all the things in the world to dwell on, I don't think that gender specific clothing should take much priority.

 

[OmarsMum]

If it's not the norm then it's wrong. Here local men wear long dresses, it's the traditional costume & they wear it all the time. It's not wrong as it's the norm

If it's culturally acceptable within a society then it should be fine, but to dress a boy in a dress to prove a point when it's culturally unacceptable then it's wrong IMO.

 

[Ozzieshunni]

I agree with the above. My husband gets teased because he's Scottish and wears a kilt at special occasions.

A dress is defined as something that a girl wears, but the style is something worn by men in many cultures.

It's wrong to force a boy to wear a dress though.

 

[fantastica]

It shouldn't be wrong, but I suppose it is seen as 'unacceptable'.

I wouldn't buy Jacob a dress, and would probably steer him away from wearing it...but that's only because I worry about what people would say and the affect it would have on him. If he wanted to as he got a little older, then that is fine by me and hopefully he will be confident and self-assured enough not to care what people think or say.

I also wouldn't put him in one just because I liked it, but that's just me.

It should be socially acceptable though, people should be able to wear whatever they want.

 

[Midnight_Fairy]

Honestly yes. I think that sometimes when people push the boundaries its about them rather then the child so allowing a boy to wear a dress everyday wear is not fair to me.

Children need a certain amount of boundaries and as parents its our job to take control sometimes and say no. River would happily wear her pjs out all day but I don't let her because its not ok.

That said if my child came to me at an age where I think they were responsible enough to make real decisions and said that they wanted to wear girls clothes I would fully support that decision.

A toddler though would be explained that while dress up is fun boys don't wear dresses in general.

This

 

[Gen79]

Its definitely wrong to force a boy to wear a dress. But I don't think its wrong to allow a boy to wear a dress. I'd personally be happier about letting my son wear a dress out to the shops than my daughter to wear a princess outfit to those same shops. That's my personal dislike for the serious polarisation of gender in our culture though.

But think about it. I've seen kids in princess outfits or other fancy dress outfits in public; not just around Halloween time at all either. No one gets concerned about them not adhering to the normal social construct then? So whats the big deal about a boy in a dress?

I agree there are some terrible people out there who might say some not very nice things. But if I had a boy who wanted to wear an outfit that happened to be a dress, I think I'd rather let him explore that, and explain that some people are not as tolerant of other people as we are. Otherwise, if I tell him that he simply cannot wear the dress because, for no other reason than its just not what's done, I'd be teaching him that he has to join the rank and file of sheep that we are. That we just do things because everyone else does them. And I hate that about our society.

Also, I believe that self esteem is internal and that its early familial attachments that help create a good self esteem, not the words of a couple people that I would expressly reject in discussions with him.

 

[emyandpotato]

I am so shocked that almost everyone has said yes. In my view, children are children and I find the massive clothing distinction between the genders quite ridiculous. That said, I conform to it to a certain extent, mostly for fear of what people would say if I did choose to put Rory in a dress. I know mothers who do choose to do this though, and I think it's wonderful and empowering. Before a child is old enough to choose their own clothes, it is very unlikely that they themselves would encounter any negativity about their clothing, so from that perspective it is irrelevant to them. They may, however, become subconsciously aware that is it acceptable to wear 'girl's' clothing. I don't see this as irresponsible or wrong, much as I do not think it is wrong to allow a boy of say 3 to wear a dress if he so chooses. A lot of people say that it is a parent's responsibility to set boundaries for what is acceptable attire for their children. I believe this is the case where particular choices could be dangerous or inappropriate for the activity or weather, but that's where it stops. I do not think that 'conforming to social norms' is something that should be taught to children; much the opposite. Social norms, in my opinion, are irrelevant so long as going against them cannot harm anybody. I believe that teaching a child that only certain clothing items are acceptable, in turn teaches them that it is acceptable to judge others on appearance, whether it be that they are in the wrong cliche in high school, or the wrong skin colour, or they perhaps choose to cross dress. I believe that allowing a child to have a completely unbiased opinion of fashion is important, as it affects so many other things in their lives. And if a child wants to wear a pyjama top outside, why not? If they want to wear a princess dress with a superman cape to the shops then go for it. They are children and childhood doesn't last. Allowing them to express themselves with their clothing is so important, and putting boundaries on this, particularly when the boundaries are gender based, makes them very aware that certain things are not okay for their gender, and thus creates closed mindedness in later life.

 

[fantastica]

I do agree with you, and I certainly wouldn't bat an eyelid if I saw a boy in a dress...but I think most of what you say is more about when the child wants to wear a dress as opposed to putting them in it because you like it. If my son wanted to wear a dress, that's fine...until then I just don't buy them (mostly because they are not practical!), I would also never say certain clothes are for boys or girls either. Gender 'appropriate' clothes etc. are all just part of some social construct that doesn't really make any sense.

I wish it was as simple as being able to wear what you want without fear of comment, but it's the society we live in. I'm quite torn with it really.

 

[Midnight_Fairy]

I just dont personally see the need for a boy to wear a dress unless they are at an age to understand properly and then choose too.

 

[Eternal]

Is it "wrong"? Wrong is a big word and I would find I hard to describe it as wrong, after all it's a very cultural thing, I like to tease my husband about him wearing skirts, he is Scottish, my uncle is Indian and wears a dress like thing, it's normal for these cultures and the items of clothing appropriate. No one would bat an eye lid.

However a boy in a dress which normally would be described as a girls item of clothing is not the norm, and however you feel about gender stereotypes I do think it not a great idea to dress a boy as a girl, and who's benefit is it for? Certainly not the childs. All the child will get is ridicule.

My children are boys and I will dress them as boys. Gender is an important part of individuality, and I don't see the need to take that away, if they decide at a later date they do not identify as a boy then we will deal with that,mbut right now my boys are boys and I have no issues with stereotypes of clothing. My boys will still be raised to be whatever they what to be, if my child Wanted a doll he would have one, I have often walked down typical girls isles ane they have no interest in such items. Anything noisy, fast or typically boyish they are there lol.

 

[staralfur]

What if the boy really really likes the dress? Thinks it's comfortable? Then it does benefit him because you're making him happy by allowing him to wear the dress.

Also, kids can identify as the opposite gender incredibly early. Not saying that every boy who thinks it'd be fun to wear a dress identifies as a girl. Just something to think about.

 

[LittleBoo]

Nope, not in the slightest.