Is it wrong

Discussion in 'Pregnancy - Third Trimester' started by tsukijin, Feb 1, 2011.

  1. tsukijin

    tsukijin mummy of a beautiful boy

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    for me not to open my door to my nana any more? She keeps coming to my house uninvited and banging on the door and shouting my name because she wants to come in. Since my mum died and she found out I was pregnant she hasn't left me alone, she calls at all hours of the day asking where I am and if I don't answer the door/phone because I am genuinely out she calls my dad or brother crying saying she is worried and it's beginning to irritate my dad how she behaves.

    At first I thought she was just trying to help and support me through a hard time and she came and cleaned up my house for me, then she started complaining trying to sell /give away my dogs to people, saying that I shouldn't keep them because they will kill the baby or the health visitor will take the baby away because normal people don't keep dogs and babies. and kept ringing every day to ask if they were gone?! She even went as far as purposely letting them out of the gate. It got weirder because then she kept ringing and telling me I need to change the carpets and bleach the skirting boards because the bacteria will kill the baby...my house is clean, and the room in question is newly decorated!

    My dad told her to stop it because I was so stressed I started to hide away in my house with the curtains closed and pull my hair out every time the door went. She promised she would stop so I gradually allowed her to visit again, then, and you would have to see it to believe it....she took the keys to my fto on the sly and went to my dads house begging him to make me sell my it because it is too fast and I will kill the baby. After this I cut off all contact with her and have a padlock on the front gate so she can't get near the door, I've changed my phone number too. Why does she keep making out like I would put my baby in danger? Is the way I live a genuine cause for concern or should I ask my aunty or one of my uncles to help nana? :shrug:
     
  2. Noonoo1

    Noonoo1 Well-Known Member

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    Oh my lord, what an awful situation, I really feel for you. :cry:

    It sounds to me like she is not stable in the mind and has some serious problems and issues - is she very old? She may also still be grieving really badly too.

    If you can ask for her to get help it might be worthwhile. You can't let this go on as it will be intolerable once the baby arrives if she's constantly coming over and interfering/hiding things/causing trouble.

    What have the rest of your family said? can they do anything or speak to her? Has ignoring her helped?

    I really hope it gets sorted and would do exactly the same in your situation, try not to feel bad x
     
  3. eldar

    eldar Mama to Wyn and Will

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    To be honest reading your account - I would be worried about her. Sounds like her mental health is not fab due to the death of your mum and her worries are projecting onto you.

    Although I don't think hiding from her is a solution, but I'm not sure what to suggest except that she needs help to discuss her issues before she ostracizes the whole family,

    Hugs to you, sounds like a tricky time.
     
  4. 87lianne

    87lianne Guest

    I was going to say it obviously sounds like she has got it into her head that something is going to happen with your baby, maybe she could do with seeing a doctor as it doesnt sound like normal behaviour. I hope you get it sorted it must be stressfull for you to see your nana acting in this way :flower:
     
  5. tsukijin

    tsukijin mummy of a beautiful boy

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    I didn't want to bring any of my dads brothers or sisters into it because I can't tell if I really am doing something wrong, see she used to be a midwife so sometimes when she starts with her ranting about bacteria and and things it worries me that maybe I've brought her bad memories or something?

    I can't see what I've done because my dogs are behind various stairgates when I want them to be and wouldn't leave them with a child no matter how much I trust them, they are also totally banned from the baby's room. car is fitted with a car seat and I never have or will drive dangerously because I need my licence and my life, and am especially cautious with passengers.

    I keep a clean house and I hoover, and mop every day among other chores.

    It may just be because she is old, or grieving for my mum, or worried that I can't cope, or the things I have and do are hard for her to understand as it's new to her. I do love my nana very much but I can see it getting worse when there is an actual baby and I know this sounds WAY out of whack but I am scared that if she is willing to take my keys and my dogs, would she try and take the baby too?
     
  6. 87lianne

    87lianne Guest

    I dont think its you with the problem hun, your nanas behaviour doesnt sound normal perhaps it is nothing and she has just struggled to come to terms with your mums death but it sounds like she could do with seeing a professional. You shouldnt have to justify yourself im sure your baby will be fine :)
     
  7. BabySeal

    BabySeal Mom of a Baby Boy!

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    I agree with the other posts. Your nana seems to be going through a rough time. I think maybe a nice balance of avoidance to keep yourself sane, and asking her for a bit of help to fulfill her could help.

    But at the end of the day, it is not normal behavior. I hope it gets sorted out. :flower:
     

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