Is monogamy in humans natural?

[lhancock90]

Historically obviously marriage developed to pass on land etc but mistresses were common, then creating economically stability when having children and going back to ancient times a protector for family. For me monogomy is hugely important and my husband is the one person I am attracted to. Scientifically apparently you are more likely to be attracted to someone with immune system that compliments yours for healthy children. I think the fact as humans we feel love for a partner means that we must have predisposition to stay monogomis

I have an awful immune system and OH has a brilliant one, does that mean he should not love me

Actually, she's right. Very interesting studies done on this and how it affects the chemistry of attraction. We can sense pheromones in sweat and are attracted to those whose immune systems best compliment our own. So in your case, his being great and yours being awful (as perceived by you - remember he may only be bringing immunity to colds, etc and you may be bringing immunity to some big bad guys that neither of you knows about - impossible to say without a genetic analysis), means he's filling in the gaps in yours for the best possible outcome for your kids. If you think you have a really bad immune system, however, you need to have a word with your parents!

Not sure I agree on the rest, however. Love is a very personal construct. There are many different (and very successful) family units that allow for multiple spouses. In fact, there is very little monogamy as we define it in Order Primata. If we truly evolved to be monogamous, you would think that we would see more evidence of this in other closely related species, but there really isn't. And even within our own species, there is a huge spectrum of successful family models.

So we balance each other out? Potentially? I love that!

 

[Bex84]

Historically obviously marriage developed to pass on land etc but mistresses were common, then creating economically stability when having children and going back to ancient times a protector for family. For me monogomy is hugely important and my husband is the one person I am attracted to. Scientifically apparently you are more likely to be attracted to someone with immune system that compliments yours for healthy children. I think the fact as humans we feel love for a partner means that we must have predisposition to stay monogomis

I have an awful immune system and OH has a brilliant one, does that mean he should not love me

Actually, she's right. Very interesting studies done on this and how it affects the chemistry of attraction. We can sense pheromones in sweat and are attracted to those whose immune systems best compliment our own. So in your case, his being great and yours being awful (as perceived by you - remember he may only be bringing immunity to colds, etc and you may be bringing immunity to some big bad guys that neither of you knows about - impossible to say without a genetic analysis), means he's filling in the gaps in yours for the best possible outcome for your kids. If you think you have a really bad immune system, however, you need to have a word with your parents!

Not sure I agree on the rest, however. Love is a very personal construct. There are many different (and very successful) family units that allow for multiple spouses. In fact, there is very little monogamy as we define it in Order Primata. If we truly evolved to be monogamous, you would think that we would see more evidence of this in other closely related species, but there really isn't. And even within our own species, there is a huge spectrum of successful family models.

So we balance each other out? Potentially? I love that!

Exactly. A lot of diseases are exhasibated in families due to where marriage happens within that family you get problems due to small gene pool therefore higher chance of family members carrying same defective gene. Thats why certain countries have more birth defects as you have a higher rate of cousons marrying. We are more likely to be attracted to someone whose imune system balences our own as biologically speaking that offspring has a higher chance of survival

 

[minties]

To a degree...it makes sense because our offspring take so long to raise and they are helpless for so long. It benefits them to have two adults sticking together to raise them I suppose.

All, and I mean all, of the men at my OH's work have either cheated, are cheating or plan on cheating! My Oh dropped one dude off to his 'girlfriends' house after work the other night. He's married with a 2 year old and 4 month old son :-/