Is our Relationship strong Enough?

[jkbmah]

Hi all,

Ive been having an emotional day today. We went to see my friend, hubby and their week old baby today and although they seem knackered they are so together and mutually supportive, I am worried whether our relationship is strong enough to go through this.

Me & My hubby do love each other very much but he has such a short temper (not abusive or anything like that though), especially when he is tired. We had an argument on the way home when I didnt take his directions in the car (he doesnt drive and I dont belive it wasnt safe to take the exit on the roudabout when we were in the wrong lane) and he really shouted at me for not taking his instructions. I manged to keep calm but busrt into tears a few hours later (in private - hubby doesnt know) because i know that once the baby is here I wont be able to keep as calm or anywhere near as tolerent as I am with him now.

its not often that we have these incidents but when we do i get so upset because I worry that once the baby is here, everything will be multiplied and we will end up screaming at each other constantly and I dont want that - for us AND for the baby.

I think i am just a bit more sensitive today and he does know that he upset me and he has apologised for shouting, I just wish he wouldnt do it in the first place!!

I really worry that this baby could drive us apart and I really want us to be a happy contented family.

Sorry for the rant - just wondered if anyone else has these sort of thoughts, to reassure me im not alone and im not mad!

 

[lexi88]

(((((((((((big hugs)))))))))))
MEN!!!
I dont drive but i have been in car with my sister and BIL and he always shouts at her "where you going?" "why you goin wrong way" blah blah BLAH!
YOU DRIVE THEN is what i would say!

Karl is same as ur OH he not abusive or anything but he got a strong head and wont hold back from telling me about my self. we both can be pretty hot headed people (hence why we split up 7 months ago!)

I was like u sooooooo scared bout havin a new born and putti stress on relationship. in fact i was conviced we would split up
BUT NO!
We was GREAT! fan-tas-TIC! in fact makes me wanna cry that we was liek that then and look at us now livin nealry 2 hours apart (but tryin to work it out now)
We didnt split up coz of stress of Theo (as theo was 2 when we split up).

Just make sure u talk to him, get him to talk to u if ur feeling down or he is feeling down.

sorry not much advice really

 

[aurora]

I just posted something like this in a friends journal who is having a similar problem. Some people just don't know how to speak to otherse respectfully and you have to really be tough about it.
My OH can be really snarky, and sometimes he answers my questions very rudely. I told him the other day, 'I am just pre warning you, don't EVER speak to me like that in front of my child.'
No 'or else' or threats, just say it firmly enough that you mean business. Maybe he will think about how hes talking to you. Any time he makes you feel awful with his words, tell him right away, STOP speaking to me like that. Hopefully he will figure it out!

 

[jkbmah]

thanks Lexi88,

I hope he is OK, actually he is really good at cooking, cleaning etc just short tempered !! Right now as I type he is sweraing at something he is trying to fix in the kitchen (I am keeping out of the way)

 

[jkbmah]

I just posted something like this in a friends journal who is having a similar problem. Some people just don't know how to speak to otherse respectfully and you have to really be tough about it.
My OH can be really snarky, and sometimes he answers my questions very rudely. I told him the other day, 'I am just pre warning you, don't EVER speak to me like that in front of my child.'
No 'or else' or threats, just say it firmly enough that you mean business. Maybe he will think about how hes talking to you. Any time he makes you feel awful with his words, tell him right away, STOP speaking to me like that. Hopefully he will figure it out!

i hope so - i have said this to him previously, honestly its like dealing with a child sometimes! I just think im having more emotional reactions to this type of thing at the moment than i would usually do

 

[MissKate]

Baby might bring out his mellow side?