Mrs.Mcguin
Mom of 3
- Joined
- Oct 1, 2012
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Hi ladies. I'm going to get personal for a minute if that's ok. First, Forgive me for a downer thread. This has just been on my mind a lot so I thought I would come on here and ask for some advice.
DH and I are not exactly trying to have another baby yet but I want to within the next year. We have 3 already and they are all 6-7 years apart.
I had severe PPD with my first child. I won't go into details but it was bad. I lived with painful constant guilt every second of every day and just want to die to make it stop. It lasted for years and I would never wish that kind of mental pain on my worst enemy. It was that bad. I was also very young and a single mom at the time all on my own with no friends or family there for help and support.
With my second child....I went through a sadness but completely different. I just couldn't believe you could love a child this much after my experience with my first. Don't get me wrong, I love/loved my first...but my depression took over with my first. it brought on a sadness for my first child and that I was not able to feel this same kind of love as I did for my second baby. Not only that...holding my precious little baby made me really sensitive to the fact that there are so many helpless little babies and children that are being abused, starved and neglected and I just wished I could love and protect each and every one of them.
My 3rd baby...she will be 15 months on the 8th. I went through an even greater sadness with her. I've always worried about SIDS with all my children to a great extent but this was life consuming and overwhelming. Not only that, I went through the same thing with my second but this time so much worse where I cried so much for a very long time about feeling sad for other babies and children. I just looked at my beautiful baby girl and couldn't imagine how heartless other parents could be to just throw their new born babies into the trash bins just to let them die, or starve them to death, rape or other abusive acts. Its all over the news and it was killing me with pain. It still does but not as strongly anymore.
I tried to avoid thinking I was going through some sort of depression because I just hate that label and because depression to me is what I experienced with my first child. But maybe it was?
I really want to have one more baby but I'm so afraid or should I say "I know" that I will go through this all over again especially because I feel I'm even more sensitive to the issue now more then ever.
Is this a reason not to have more children?
I love being pregnant and babies and being a mom so much...I couldn't imagine not having one more. Any advice and words of wisdom would be great
DH and I are not exactly trying to have another baby yet but I want to within the next year. We have 3 already and they are all 6-7 years apart.
I had severe PPD with my first child. I won't go into details but it was bad. I lived with painful constant guilt every second of every day and just want to die to make it stop. It lasted for years and I would never wish that kind of mental pain on my worst enemy. It was that bad. I was also very young and a single mom at the time all on my own with no friends or family there for help and support.
With my second child....I went through a sadness but completely different. I just couldn't believe you could love a child this much after my experience with my first. Don't get me wrong, I love/loved my first...but my depression took over with my first. it brought on a sadness for my first child and that I was not able to feel this same kind of love as I did for my second baby. Not only that...holding my precious little baby made me really sensitive to the fact that there are so many helpless little babies and children that are being abused, starved and neglected and I just wished I could love and protect each and every one of them.
My 3rd baby...she will be 15 months on the 8th. I went through an even greater sadness with her. I've always worried about SIDS with all my children to a great extent but this was life consuming and overwhelming. Not only that, I went through the same thing with my second but this time so much worse where I cried so much for a very long time about feeling sad for other babies and children. I just looked at my beautiful baby girl and couldn't imagine how heartless other parents could be to just throw their new born babies into the trash bins just to let them die, or starve them to death, rape or other abusive acts. Its all over the news and it was killing me with pain. It still does but not as strongly anymore.
I tried to avoid thinking I was going through some sort of depression because I just hate that label and because depression to me is what I experienced with my first child. But maybe it was?
I really want to have one more baby but I'm so afraid or should I say "I know" that I will go through this all over again especially because I feel I'm even more sensitive to the issue now more then ever.
Is this a reason not to have more children?
I love being pregnant and babies and being a mom so much...I couldn't imagine not having one more. Any advice and words of wisdom would be great