Is this normal after a vaginal birth?

[jennthompson]

I want to say first off that I know that every woman is different in how they deal with labor and the pains during and after. I have had 2 previous vaginal births, the 1st was super easy, the 2nd was something I would rather forget as it went horribly, and now I am preparing for my 3rd.

Here is the issue. My OH has a cousin who just gave birth last week, also with her 3rd and also vaginal. She went in on Friday morning, gave birth within 2 hours and was home that night with a beautiful healthy baby. On Sunday she was out driving all over town with the baby and her other 2 children and acting like she had no pain at all.

When I had my children, I did great after but was told not to drive for 2 weeks and honestly I was so sore that I didn't even want to leave the house during that time.

Now my OH is all excited bc he has it in his head that I will go in, pop out baby and be ready to run the roads the very next day to visit all of his extended family. I need some ideas on how to tell him nicely that I just really don't believe I will be up for that. I did tell him that every woman is different and I don't think I will be ready, but he is of the opinion that if she can do it, so can I.

Please tell me honestly, am I being difficult? Have any of you had a previous birth and just felt ready to go the next day? I guess the problem is now I am paranoid that I have not pushed myself enough with my other births to get right back to normal daily life....

 

[Shell999]

I don't have any personal experience- but every woman I've known has rested, and quite rightly so! Take your time and recover! And enjoy your baby!!!! I know I will! Xxx

 

[YorkieMom]

That's just crazy! Every women is different, but I'd at least have thought that most would take at least a few days off to rest & recoup. We've got a baby photo session booked that hubby will have to drive us to, and I'm already dreading the hour long car trip 7 days after the birth!

I've also told hubby I don't want to be inundated with visitors, and that I'd like to wait a few days for us all to settle in before we tell anyone (besides our parents) that we had the baby. I don't like being overwhelemed or smothered, so don't want to have to deal with countless phone calls & visitors. in my opinion my sanity is more important that other people seeing the baby. There's plenty of time for that.

I also think that celebs put a tremendous amount of pressure on new mums to stay looking fit and fabulous throghout and after the pregnancy. It's not realistic. I'm sure your husband will come around, but perhaps have one of the midwives stress to him that you're not to leave the house for at least a week!

 

[abc123x]

She has been blessed.

I left the house like 5 days after having my son, but I couldn't drive for a while and even when I did go out, which was to go to the grocery store... I had to use a wheelchair cause I couldn't walk that far.

You're not being difficult, especially if your last birth was particularly difficult. Good luck though! Would be lovely if you could just get up and go!

 

[leahsbabybump]

even if you thinky our upto it you should be resting after labour your body and your baby have just gone through the most stresful experience possible :-/
you are actually advised to rest for a couple of weeks after birth weather you feel good or not. I ignored this advice with my first and the day aftr i was home i was trailing round town with bubs low and behold i was back in hospital by the end of the week as i had put too much strain on my healing womb and was horrendously bleeding it wasnt nice.
Just tell hubby calmly that you will not be out visitin all family for the first two weeks but they are more than welcome to come and see you (if thats ok with you)
good luck

 

[midori1999]

Well, everyone is different, but I have had 4 vaginal births (one twins, although they were extremely premature) and was up and about pretty much right away. My biggest was 10lb, but I didn't have any stitches or anything, maybe that makes it harder?

I certainly wouldn't have even considered not driving for two weeks and was back horseriding and looking after three horses three days after having my third baby.

This time I will be on my own a week after the birth as my husband and I have to live apart due to his job at the moment and he can only take a weeks paternity leave after the birth. I have no family nearby at all, I am in a different country, so I'll have a baby and three older children to look after, one of whom is 'disabled'. Plus 4 dogs to walk. I am sure I am not alone in my situation and I certainly don't see it as any big deal.

 

[kmumtobe]

Days? Way im feeling before i worry i'll be lucky to see weeks!

 

[special_kala]

I felt back to normal within days but everyone is different and it could be different for me this time

 

[XJessicaX]

I was forced to leave the house 2 days after my birth due to baby having jaundice so I had to go back into hospital. I felt ok but would have much rather chilled out at home for a few more days. Bit sore!

 

[aileymouse]

Everyone is different, some women feel up to get back in to the swings of things sooner than others. Just depends on how YOU feel.

I was out and about 3 days after my daughter was born but was still achey and sore. Just take it easy and go with what you want to do x

 

[Maya23]

i was out and about 2 days after giving birth.I was a bit sore but happy I could wonder around without being sick and being able to breathe again!(i've had an awful pregnancy),however every woman is different!

 

[mummaofthree]

i dont remember having any after pains with my 1st and 2nd... except 1st time i had a few stitches n when i laughed or peed it stung....

but with my 3rd i had really bad after pains... i def dont remember that from the other 2! x

 

[oaklvr]

I haven't read the other replies, but what I would do is show him the papers saying you aren't supposed to drive for 1 week (if you have an epidural they say that I guess) and you aren't supposed to climb stairs, lift anything heavier than baby, and need 6 weeks to recover. It looks more 'official' to men when they see something on paper. I'd be pissed if I was expected to go anywhere after the birth, especially driving around carting a new baby.

 

[Ivoryapril]

No way, why should you? You'll be tired and sore - if they want to see baby tell OH they can come to you! x

 

[RebeccaR19]

I don't know anything from personal experience, but your husband sounds just like mine! My husband would say something like that to me if he saw somebody else out and running around right after having a baby. I think your husband and the doctor need to talk. That's what makes my husband listen when he gets an idea in his head.

But everyone is different, and I have known people who have gone right out and been active after having a vaginal birth. They also have said now that if you exercise during pregnancy, you don't have to wait 6 weeks and you can go back to exercising right away. I think it's your body and how you feel. And, based on the way I feel now, I don't see myself up and running around right after this baby gets here.

But like I said, if your husband is like mine, having the doctor tell him should do the trick. He certainly wouldn't want you to end up getting hurt or being in pain I'm sure.

 

[Kittifer]

It's normal to be kept in the hospital for 5 days after childbirth here. I'll be sat on my butt doing nothing

 

[Babynumber1]

I had an a epistomy 2nd degree and i was so very sore i didnt leave the house for 2 weeks with the pain and breastfeeding and tiredness and just getting into some sort of routine xx

 

[Mother of 4]

Everybody is different. I always had to be out and about right away...not a lot of options when you have multiple kids But the normal hospital stay in the US is 2 days anyway so I'm usually pretty rested by the time I head home. Then since my kids have all had jaundice we end up at the hospital daily 45 min. away getting their levels tested. So not a lot of resting on this end. But you shouldn't be expected to do anything...it all depends on how you feel.

 

[Palestrina]

I I did tell him that every woman is different and I don't think I will be ready, but he is of the opinion that if she can do it, so can I.

:

The problem is that he thinks it is a matter of opinion rather than what condition you may be in and that would irk me to no end! As if a woman chooses to be in pain after birth or not. If we could we would all choose to be like that lucky lady. You need to speak to the doctor and have the doctor tell him what to expect. After the birth I'm sure the doctor will speak to you about your recovery based on how the labour went anyway. If the doc says you have a 4th degree tear then I'm sure there's no question of taking it easy, I mean it's common sense isn't it? Men are so dumb.