is/was your LO a really bad sleeper? support and advise thread!

[AngelUK]

My mother came out with a gem: Why don't you just let him cry?
Ok this might not seem so weird to other ppl but my mum has seen with her own eyes into what a state Dominic works himself up to if he isn't nipped in the bud (i.e. rocked, walked, cuddled patted shushed you name it) and then what about my poor Sebastian lying in the cot next to him? He can just wake up and cry along with him? And my neighbours will just accept this crying or will they think I am torturing them and call the police? Seriously...

 

[kosh]

flippity - yes, it really helped. thanks. i too think she has no clue. her kids woke up loads allegedly, but i know them, they are the kind of baby that DO fall asleep when they are tired, so even if they didn't STTN until they were 2yo she didn't have to spend all her days trying to get them to sleep and/or stressed because they'd be incredibly grumpy.
atm i function because I do nothing all day. the other day I left LO with DH to go to the dentist. I hadn't left him for more than 30min since April. I fell asleep in the waiting room!

(still I have a question re. your NTC group - is there any chance all/most of the babies there might have been 'trained'?)

angel - i can't believe your friend said that plus Sebastian is the living example she's wrong, if it was your parenting style then both twins should be the same, right?
aliss once said in a thread that she can spot a mother of an easy/non-difficult baby a mile away
i think it was her who also said that some mothers give themselves too much credit for their LO's behaviour. I truly agree.

lisa - i HATE the 'they pick up on your tension' comment. I feel shite enough, no need to make me feel even worse (this same friend made that comment too!).

 

[flippityflop]

flippity - yes, it really helped. thanks. i too think she has no clue. her kids woke up loads allegedly, but i know them, they are the kind of baby that DO fall asleep when they are tired, so even if they didn't STTN until they were 2yo she didn't have to spend all her days trying to get them to sleep and/or stressed because they'd be incredibly grumpy.
atm i function because I do nothing all day. the other day I left LO with DH to go to the dentist. I hadn't left him for more than 30min since April. I fell asleep in the waiting room!

(still I have a question re. your NTC group - is there any chance all/most of the babies there might have been 'trained'?)

angel - i can't believe your friend said that plus Sebastian is the living example she's wrong, if it was your parenting style then both twins should be the same, right?
aliss once said in a thread that she can spot a mother of an easy/non-difficult baby a mile away
i think it was her who also said that some mothers give themselves too much credit for their LO's behaviour. I truly agree.

lisa - i HATE the 'they pick up on your tension' comment. I feel shite enough, no need to make me feel even worse (this same friend made that comment too!).

Kosh, none of my NCT babies have been 'trained'. Most of them don't STTN but they at least have only one waking. A lot of them don't agree with CC but even they didn't give me a hard time for doing it. It just goes to show that our babies really a complete new level of exhaustion.

 

[Gemmamuk]

So how did everyone sleep?

We all went out last night as a family friend is moving away. DS had a few naps in his buggy and also had a few cuddles with family and friends. One woman who I don't know that well felt the need to tell me he doesn't sleep well as I let other people hold him

He slept then from midnight until 330. Had a quick bit of boob then slept till 7.30 then had another hour until 8.30 - very good night for us!!!

 

[lisa1980]

So how did everyone sleep?

We all went out last night as a family friend is moving away. DS had a few naps in his buggy and also had a few cuddles with family and friends. One woman who I don't know that well felt the need to tell me he doesn't sleep well as I let other people hold him

He slept then from midnight until 330. Had a quick bit of boob then slept till 7.30 then had another hour until 8.30 - very good night for us!!!

That's great that you had a good night. I love that some people feel the need to make up reasons that don't even make sense so they can 'advise' you on your own baby's sleeping!

Our night was ok. He kept waking up all evening but it was 29 degrees in our room even with windows open and fan on so I don't blame him. Once we went to bed he woke at 11pm, then 2am ish, then 3.30am until 4am but then slept until 7am when I popped his dummy in and her slept another hour, so not bad at all in the end. He's wanting to feed a lot more in the night as it's so hot but he'll sometimes take a beaker of water instead which is good

 

[Casey3]

We went on our first vacation last week to NYC and this resulted in a lot of bedsharing and now that we are home his sleep is much worse.. Hopefully he's just adjusting to being home because our first night last night was brutal, did 2x2hr streches but the rest were an hour or less, I think we were up 6 or 7x in 10 hours.

The little bit of bed sharing we did was awesome, I felt so rested and LO seemed to have slept SO well, but I don't want it to be a habit and we had a king bed in the hotel and only a double at home so its just not really feasible now...

Ah I miss sleep.

 

[firefly15]

A mixed night for us, but the good news is that DH managed to settle him really easily the first time he woke and then he settled himself at 4.30 am. I still had to feed him 3 times and he was awake at the crack of dawn and wouldn't go back to sleep despite crazy yawning and eye rubbing, but on the whole it could have been worse!

Gemma - yay for a good night!

I've had all of those little gems from people too, and after this many months of it I'm struggling not to let rip with deeply sarcastic responses sometimes

After talking to MIL this week I can safely say that this is all DHs fault as LO seems to be a carbon copy of him as a baby. I really hope some of my better sleeping genes express themselves before 18 months (which is when DH improved) or I might be a total basket case!

Totally, totally agree with the comment about some people giving themselves too much credit for their LOs behaviour. I couldn't have put that any better at all, and I know someone who suffers from extreme smugness regarding how easy their LO is...sums her up perfectly! No, you are not the best parent of all time, you just got really lucky!

Not loving the hot weather now we're back home, I'm dreading bedtime tonight as naps have been rubbish so potential overtiredness looms and the heat never helps.

 

[kosh]

late post (written this morning!)

we've had a surprisingly good night last night. LO still woke many many times (haven't really counted them) but a) we found a way of co-sleeping that works for us and b) it seems that he's turning into a proper thumb-sucker and is managing to self-settle 1/2 of the times! I didn't have much sleep anyway as I was still awake looking at him in disbelieve!

gemma - wow! that's a great night!

flippity - that's what I thought re. the babies in your group. I actually asked so I could tell my friend (because I know she'll say they 'must be all 'trained')

casey - how did you manage on holiday? I don;t think I could do it. How's your LO during the day?

firefly - exactly, they just got lucky, nothing else!

angel - haven't heard anything from you today, hope everything is ok?


hope everyone has a good night tonight! we've already had a brief wake up but DH managed to settle him!!

 

[AngelUK]

It is boiling hot here in London and 26.5° in the nursery. Of course Dom was really hard to settle. Thing is at 6:30 he gets really agitated and starts fussing for his food and a sleep, his red eyebrows are always a give away. OH thinks we should stick to the schedule of 4 hours between feeds and bed time at 7 to 7:30 but I think if Dom gets this fussy nothing good can come of delaying it. Of course he promptly worked himself up into a crying fit and refused to eat. He then fell asleep in OH's arms and was then dreamfed. 45 minutes later he was awake as if it was a refreshing nap he's had. Then it took us over an hour and a half to get him to sleep again which is due to the heat no doubt. I just cannot work out why he won't frigging sleep?! I love him so much and I melt utterly at the sight of him but golly I am getting really depressed at the thought of months and months of no sleeping yet to come. OH has a job interview tomorrow and I really really hope he gets it but what am I going to do when I have to take every single night? I looked at day nurseries in the area thinking I could maybe occasionally sleep during the day while they are away. We cannot afford even one day a week as we have two babies (OH has changed careers so his salary will be pretty low to start with).

 

[gardenofedens]

Hi all, not sure if I belong since my LO is only just shy of 3 weeks old but she only gives me 45 min between burping from one feeding until she's fussy for the next. She is exclusively breastfed, no complications with pregnancy or delivery though she was a tiny bit premature. She'd technically only be 39 weeks gestation as of today; was born at 36+2. The only way I can get a longer break between feedings is if I hold her while sleeping - that gives me about 2.5 hours between. I'm hanging in there for now and hoping this doesn't last too long but since DH doesn't help at all, I can see myself getting really frustrated soon.

Can someone share the acronyms please? CC? CIO = cry it out? STTN? NCT?

Thanks!

 

[kosh]

It is boiling hot here in London and 26.5° in the nursery. Of course Dom was really hard to settle. Thing is at 6:30 he gets really agitated and starts fussing for his food and a sleep, his red eyebrows are always a give away. OH thinks we should stick to the schedule of 4 hours between feeds and bed time at 7 to 7:30 but I think if Dom gets this fussy nothing good can come of delaying it. Of course he promptly worked himself up into a crying fit and refused to eat. He then fell asleep in OH's arms and was then dreamfed. 45 minutes later he was awake as if it was a refreshing nap he's had. Then it took us over an hour and a half to get him to sleep again which is due to the heat no doubt. I just cannot work out why he won't frigging sleep?! I love him so much and I melt utterly at the sight of him but golly I am getting really depressed at the thought of months and months of no sleeping yet to come. OH has a job interview tomorrow and I really really hope he gets it but what am I going to do when I have to take every single night? I looked at day nurseries in the area thinking I could maybe occasionally sleep during the day while they are away. We cannot afford even one day a week as we have two babies (OH has changed careers so his salary will be pretty low to start with).

maybe the sleep at 6:30 WAS a nap? I'm only saying it because you said it took 1.5hr to get him to sleep again, and that's usually one 'awake' period. why are you doing the 4hr schedules?

good luck for tomorrow

 

[kosh]

Hi all, not sure if I belong since my LO is only just shy of 3 weeks old but she only gives me 45 min between burping from one feeding until she's fussy for the next. She is exclusively breastfed, no complications with pregnancy or delivery though she was a tiny bit premature. She'd technically only be 39 weeks gestation as of today; was born at 36+2. The only way I can get a longer break between feedings is if I hold her while sleeping - that gives me about 2.5 hours between. I'm hanging in there for now and hoping this doesn't last too long but since DH doesn't help at all, I can see myself getting really frustrated soon.

she's just very young. I'd say just go with the flow,she'llprob start tospace her feeds soon.

ETA - is your supply ok?

Can someone share the acronyms please? CC? CIO = cry it out? STTN? NCT?

Thanks!

CC = controlled crying
CIO = cry it out
STTN = sleep through the night
NCT = national childbirth trust

 

[AngelUK]

maybe the sleep at 6:30 WAS a nap? I'm only saying it because you said it took 1.5hr to get him to sleep again, and that's usually one 'awake' period. why are you doing the 4hr schedules?

good luck for tomorrow

Thank you I guess it might have been just a nap. But we actually fed him at 7 and by the time he was sleeping it was 7:15, so his usual bed time. When he woke up it was 8 and he was awake till 9:30 which is definitely not his bedtime. On the other hand he is always hard to settle and will wake up anything from 20 to 40 mins to every hour before his 11:30 feed. Which btw he did last night too. And then he gave me 2 hours and after that I was awake every hour again reinserting the dummy and rocking him every hour from 4 onwards.
How did your nights go ladies?

 

[gardenofedens]

Hi all, not sure if I belong since my LO is only just shy of 3 weeks old but she only gives me 45 min between burping from one feeding until she's fussy for the next. She is exclusively breastfed, no complications with pregnancy or delivery though she was a tiny bit premature. She'd technically only be 39 weeks gestation as of today; was born at 36+2. The only way I can get a longer break between feedings is if I hold her while sleeping - that gives me about 2.5 hours between. I'm hanging in there for now and hoping this doesn't last too long but since DH doesn't help at all, I can see myself getting really frustrated soon.

she's just very young. I'd say just go with the flow,she'llprob start tospace her feeds soon.

ETA - is your supply ok?

Can someone share the acronyms please? CC? CIO = cry it out? STTN? NCT?

Thanks!

CC = controlled crying
CIO = cry it out
STTN = sleep through the night
NCT = national childbirth trust

Thank you for decoding the acronyms! Definitely nothing wrong with my supply. I'm pumping between feedings to keep my boobs from getting too terribly painful and there's still so much leakage, it's like my boobs are permanent water guns! And my poor LO chokes/gags when it comes out so fast so I've taken to pumping for a couple minutes before, nursing, and then pumping for another 10 min after she's done.

Oh and the first 10 days or so, she gave me 3ish hour long breaks. This 45 min thing is new...!

 

[flippityflop]

Hi all, not sure if I belong since my LO is only just shy of 3 weeks old but she only gives me 45 min between burping from one feeding until she's fussy for the next. She is exclusively breastfed, no complications with pregnancy or delivery though she was a tiny bit premature. She'd technically only be 39 weeks gestation as of today; was born at 36+2. The only way I can get a longer break between feedings is if I hold her while sleeping - that gives me about 2.5 hours between. I'm hanging in there for now and hoping this doesn't last too long but since DH doesn't help at all, I can see myself getting really frustrated soon.

she's just very young. I'd say just go with the flow,she'llprob start tospace her feeds soon.

ETA - is your supply ok?

Can someone share the acronyms please? CC? CIO = cry it out? STTN? NCT?

Thanks!

CC = controlled crying
CIO = cry it out
STTN = sleep through the night
NCT = national childbirth trust

Thank you for decoding the acronyms! Definitely nothing wrong with my supply. I'm pumping between feedings to keep my boobs from getting too terribly painful and there's still so much leakage, it's like my boobs are permanent water guns! And my poor LO chokes/gags when it comes out so fast so I've taken to pumping for a couple minutes before, nursing, and then pumping for another 10 min after she's done.

Oh and the first 10 days or so, she gave me 3ish hour long breaks. This 45 min thing is new...!

There is a growth spurt around 3 weeks so you're probably going through that. As Kosh says she's still very young and at 3 weeks she's doubtful to have any kind of real pattern. You'll find she'll probably change again in a week so hang on in there!

 

[AngelUK]

Oh and the first 10 days or so, she gave me 3ish hour long breaks. This 45 min thing is new...!

Exhausting isn't it? I really hope your lil one is just going through a growth spurt and will be back to sleeping longer again soon.
I see from your signature that you are waiting to conceive twins? While I think my twins are a double blessing I don't know half of the time how to cope and if I had a toddler running around as well... But good luck

 

[gardenofedens]

Yea, I'm hoping it's just a growth spurt!

And yes, we're hoping for twin boys. We were prescribed clomid the month we conceived Abigail which I've saved but I don't think we'll use it. Instead we'll just hope since they run in both our families anyway. It'll definitely be a LOT of work but I'm up for the challenge!

 

[MrsHedgehog]

We took LO camping at the weekend! She slept soundly (not her usual tossing and turning) in the tent but with a lot of wakings, every hour or so all night. I hardly slept a wink as I was sleeping on a lumpy bit of ground and was paranoid about LO sleeping in the tent. It was fun though and since we're used to bad sleep I wasn't worried about having a bad night. When we got home LO was exhausted after our weekend away and she slept quite well last night. I think I'm never going to figure her out. The good thing last night was that a couple of times she managed to settle without boob.

 

[Gemmamuk]

Glad you had a nice weekend camping!! I'm dying to take Alex camping but have been too chicken so far!

Alex Slept sooooo much better too! He was still shattered from our late night Saturday and had 3 naps, all in his cot
Then we had dinner at friends and he fell asleep on the walk home in his buggy. I took him straight to bed when we got in at 9.30 and he stayed asleep until 3. Then woke at 6.30 and went back at 7 and slept till 10!!!!!!

 

[chocolala]

Lily had an ok night, but I didn't, I was awake from 2am until just after 3am, all because of the dog and a grumpy husband, who declared at one point " I just want to sleep!". So did I funnily enough, but the dog woke me too and the husbands snoring kept me awake!

Previous night was horrible, it was so hot and lily just would not stay asleep.

She's started trying to either crawl or roll over while we're laying on the bed with me feeding her, my boob is not saggy enough to move like that! It's making trying to get her to sleep even more interesting than usual!